Going from 1 to 2 with large age gap

(13 Posts)
LittleLionMansMummy Sat 06-Aug-16 07:51:36

Dc2 due November. Ds1 will be exactly 6yo then. How have you found the age gap? Having a bit of a wobble (too late now!) about returning to dealing with a baby just at the point where ds is absolutely lovely - easy to reason with, we get nice lie ins, he can entertain himself a lot, is more independent etc. What are we doing having another baby when things have got so easy?! Seriously we're very excited but apprehensive about making the adjustment from a family of 3 to 4! Any experiences?

Maybeoneday77 Sat 06-Aug-16 16:33:49

We have exactly the same age gap and it has been fabulous. They are 9 and 3 now. I have loved every minute and they get on so well. It meant I got to enjoy quality one on one with both as babies and both have been a delight. Relax and enjoy it X

SeaEagleFeather Sat 06-Aug-16 17:35:56

for us it's worked really well. Older boy is very interested in his baby brother. Mind you he'd been asking for years for a sibling.

Older son was already sleeping well so you didn't have the problem of one waking up, then the other. Yes, you're returning to the beginning again with the tiny, that's hard work. But the older one actually plays with him and so it's not quite so relentless.
We're lucky in that our older one loves having the little one follow him and the younger one loves the attention from the older one.

They don't fight over the same things usually.

We can go to the loo in peace knowing that Older Bro will stop Little Bro getting into (too much) mischief.

We have had to teach him to rein his strength in and remember that the little one is only little. But for us, the age gap couldn't have worked out better.

ifherbumwereabungalow Sat 06-Aug-16 17:42:42

Same age gap here, now 10 and 4. Older brother was lovely, fetching and carrying but also old enough to go and play in his room while me and baby slept. Older brother also acts as entertainment system and hero although also occasionally greatest enemy but that is to be expected! I really like the gap and it means that this September they will be in the same school for one year.

MummyBtothree Sat 06-Aug-16 17:45:35

My older two were 9 & 11 when our youngest was born who is now 4. They absolutely doted on their younger brother, they still do and they are all really close. It was more of a shock to the system to me & dh starting all over again lol.

Metalhead Sun 07-Aug-16 13:19:50

I had DD2 (now 8 months) when DD1 was 5.5, and overall it's been fine. DD1 being at school most of the time means I only have to deal with one child for most of the day, and the older one can be plonked in front of a film/entertain herself when DD2 needs attention. Going back to sleepless nights was hard, and I struggled with a lack of patience when tired, but againat least you've only got one baby waking you up.

A word of warning though: despite always wanting a little sister, DD1 was pretty unimpressed with DD2 for about 5/6 months, mainly because she had colic and screamed a lot, and because DD1 had to adjust to not being centre of attention anymore. However, now that DD2 is that big bigger and crawling and doing stuff, she's much better with her and does like to make her laugh. So just be aware that your older one might not want to help out with the baby, and that it might take some time for them to interact nicely.

Time seems to flown by much quicker than with DD1 though, I don't know if that's because it wasn't such a shock to the system second time round or because you've got to keep life more 'normal' with the older ones activities etc. Before you know it your baby will be running around with his/her big brother!

CathFromCooberPedy Sun 07-Aug-16 20:24:51

I could have written the above post from metal! Except dd1 was 4.9 when dd2 was born and dd2 is now 10 months grin

Dd1 never asked for a sibling, and did used to say l liked it when it was just us three. ..but she is now a great big sis and very helpful. Now dd2 is crawling and interacting with dd1, dd1 is starting to enjoy it smile And yes to the napping a pp mentioned. During these holidays if I've been tired when dd2 goes for a nap l will set dd1 up with a movie on the tablet and headphones and snooze on the couch next to her.

Returning to the newborn stage is a little bit of a shock, but l felt recharged from dd1 and excited to do it again.

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 08-Aug-16 12:45:09

Thanks everyone - your experiences are really reassuring!

Ds never asked for a sibling and would have been happy continuing to be an only child I think. But his reaction when we told him I was pregnant was just wonderful and he's great with younger children. He's already volunteered to change nappies!

I've heard that it's good having one child at school when another comes along, so there's lots I'm positive about. But I am a bit anxious about finding a new routine for 2 children at such different stages.

SeaEagleFeather Mon 08-Aug-16 15:09:52

one thing to help ease the shock of the new arrival in helped us; letting Older Bro be as involved as he wanted to be with Tiny Bro. That helped avert most of the attention-jealousy I think

Best of luck smile it'll be brilliant when tinylion arrives!

Rubberduck2 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:14:15

I'm also due at the end of November and there will be an age gained of 10 years 5 months between mine so I know where you're coming from!!

We have involved DD from the second we told her, took her to a private scan, let her choose first clothes etc.

I'm still worried about how this will effect her. On the surface she will be ace, she's incredibly good with little ones, I'm more concerned for when she's a bit older for example she's 13 and baby 3. I think that maybe where the challenges lie.

Just got to roll with it I suppose!!!

Needmorewine Mon 08-Aug-16 18:36:20

We're planning a 6/7 year gap and this is a lovely thread to read smile

JigglypuffsCaptor Mon 08-Aug-16 18:43:35

DS is 2 this wekend and as a family, we have also planned a larger gap due to financial circumstances and career building, and this thread has really helped me cement the idea that it will be ok that DS will be 5 or 6 when a new born hopefully arrives safe and sound smile Thanks all!

autumnboys Mon 08-Aug-16 18:44:18

Ds1 is almost exactly 6yrs older than ds3. Ds2 is 4yrs older than ds3, so not quite the same. Ds1 was absolutely mad about ds3 and is still very sweet with him (mostly!) and they are nearly 7 & 13. I let ds1 hold ds3 whenever he asked and be as involved as he wanted. It's slightly harder now as the gap means there's not much they all enjoy, but you just have to be a bit inventive. We've just spent a week away with our church and ds1 has been fab with everyone's toddlers.

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