Clueless mother of 3 boys. Help me!

(21 Posts)
newmumintown Thu 28-Jul-16 08:00:20

My middle child just asked me what I have instead of a willy, "yes, but what's it called?". Told him to ask me again later as I haven't even thought about it before now. I want to go with vagina, but is that too grown up? Also, have heard the word flower used before and I find that a bit creepy. Any ideas??? He's 4 (with 2 brothers, 6 and 2).

Grassgreendashhabi Thu 28-Jul-16 08:13:00

Tell her it's a vagina. Why is that too grown up

You tell her that she has arms, legs, tummy , bottom etc why is vagina any different

You can give it a "pet name" when referring to it example

My tootsie hurts (foot)

My Peggy hurts (teeth)

My noony hurts (vagina) or whatever you choose

Emanresugnikcuf Thu 28-Jul-16 08:14:19

It's a him Grass.

Emanresugnikcuf Thu 28-Jul-16 08:15:53

I just tell my boy that I don't have a willy. Never thought of a name for if instead. Other people I know say flower and noony (sp?) if that's any help...

Grassgreendashhabi Thu 28-Jul-16 08:16:41

Then tell him the same. Doesn't make a difference

Missgraeme Thu 28-Jul-16 08:22:01

Think long and hard which word u want used forever more in your home!! My daughter called hers a 'Mary' years ago (now 27)now it's been that ever since!! Its what she was comfortable using so saw no reason to insist on vagina!! Made it easier to talk about issues regarding it! Like the time she used Veet on it and it swelled up and went purple!

SomedayMyPrinceWillCome Thu 28-Jul-16 08:22:33

I told my son that he has a penis and testicles (we call it willy generally) and I and other girls have vulva & vagina. He's asked me a few times now & these are the words I've decided to use. He isn't embarrassed by it because he doesn't know that he "should" be, I try my best to be cool & calm & not show any embarrassment - this gets easier each time he asks

AliceTheCamelHasNoHumps Thu 28-Jul-16 08:28:17

Technically the female version of penis is not vagina though! My boys know that boys wee from a willy and girls have a little hole where their wee comes from. They also have a vagina where some babies come out of. And we all have a hole where poo comes from. I keep it simple, if they want to know more they will ask. School teaches them the whole lot in Yr 6 so a bit of preparation is quite good when you get closer to the time, and there are some good books to help.
(Had a hilarious conversation once with my then 5 yr old Ds 'Girls have THREE holes???? THREE???' His face was a picture shockshockshockshockshockshockshockshock)

newmumintown Thu 28-Jul-16 09:07:02

My main problem is that it'll end up being used a lot as soon as I give it a name, along with willy, bum, poo, pee, snot and all the other bodily function words I hear hundreds of times a day. I also don't want the oldest using words in school that are not generally acceptable (I'm out of touch with girls completely now -outnumbered in a house with 4 males!). I'm sure we used to say fanny in my house but I now live in Scotland where that's really quite rude!

Highlove Thu 28-Jul-16 09:21:17

We call it 'your bits'. It's a cop-out, I know, but she's only 2 so it works for now. I guess as she gets a bit older we'll need to let her know the proper name. It's just easier with boys, isn't it? You just call it willy.

I don't really buy the whole "you must call it vagina" thing - most people don't refer to a willy as a penis, do they?! So I'd say go with something you're comfortable being shouted about for now and make your own call when each of your DCs ought to know the 'proper' names.

(Weirdly I heard a mum at the swimming pool tell her son to "leave his tail alone." Tail? Is that a thing? I found that a bit odd. But I'm sure others probably think the same about bits so hey ho.)

Aftershock15 Thu 28-Jul-16 09:57:29

One of mine used to refer to it as his tail when he was small. I think he knew about cats and dogs having tails, so when he discovered his own appendage decided it must be a tail too. Dh and I used to giggle when he would play with it in the bath and then yell 'tail gone stiff' and start crying.

Onenerfwarfrombreakdown Thu 28-Jul-16 10:23:00

Well yes the female "equivalent" of penis would strictly be the clitoris of course but since that's not usually obvious and what he means is the general area, I went with vagina. He called it my vageegee for a little while but now uses the word properly if ever needed - very rarely ! He's much more intrigued by the dogs farting capacity now.

switswoo81 Thu 28-Jul-16 12:56:43

I teach 4 year old and we have to use the correct terminology, even have anatomically correct dolls. We were taught this under child safety protection procedures as it is much better for children to use the correct words in the case of sexual abuse.

It is difficult though and lots of parents feel understandably uncomfortable

Terrifiedandregretful Thu 28-Jul-16 19:30:58

I use vulva. It takes a while to get used to but at least it's neither cutesy nor incorrect!

newmumintown Tue 02-Aug-16 08:22:55

Thanks everyone-am now waiting for him to ask again

Ilovewillow Tue 02-Aug-16 08:40:49

We went with vagina from day one, I e always thought if you use the technical term it lessens the need for embarrassment - I wouldn't give another body part a peculiar name! My daughter did announce loudly recently though when playing ball "it hit me in the vagina"!

TooGood2BeFalse Tue 02-Aug-16 11:20:11

We called it ladybits blush...I know vaginas is anatomically correct but it just sounds so harsh coming from a little person!

allegretto Tue 02-Aug-16 11:22:28

DD started saying "mini" as I think she wanted an equivalent to willy. She knows the "proper" words too but I don't think it matters if they use an alternative.

allegretto Tue 02-Aug-16 11:23:26

Ilovewillow - I see what you mean but vagina isn't really accurate if you're talking about the whole area.

FellOutOfBed2wice Tue 02-Aug-16 11:41:23

Don't overthink it. We always said "Minnie" in our house as, as another PP rightly points out, it's an equivalent for "Willy". Imo vagina and vulva are a bit much for preschoolers. We always knew the proper words too but no need to turn idle childish chat into an lesson in anatomical language imo. Boys don't have to go through this shit.

newmumintown Tue 02-Aug-16 21:43:25

Actually I quite like 'ladybits' toogood! We sometimes use 'your bits' as well as willy, so this could work!

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