Please help! Baby cries awfully in the car, I can't bear it

(40 Posts)
Pamida Thu 21-Jul-16 17:47:50

Hi, my baby is 3 months old and he HATES being in the car. He always cries, sometimes 5 mins into the journey, occasionally he's ok for up to 25 mins. I've tried so much to make him happy, including:
-making sure he's fed, has a clean nappy
- toys on the car seat & no toys
- having window open and closed
- driving fast/ driving slow
- sunshade up/ sunshade down
- music on/ off
- my worn nightie in the car seat
Try as I might, he won't take a dummy, so that doesn't work.
I can't bear to hear him cry (I'm not a fan of cry it out), occasionally when I've been unable to stop he's cried for 20 minutes- he gets himself so worked up he's almost sick. He gets drenched in sweat and it takes a while to calm him down again. It absolutely breaks my heart.

Car journeys are now so stressful and traumatic that I'm starting to become a recluse.

Has anyone out there had similar problems? Has anyone got any advice.... please? It's making me really unhappy.
Thank you so much in advance.

3littlebadgers Thu 21-Jul-16 17:57:59

This was me a couple of months ago. DS is nearly 6months old and now happy as anything. Does your passenger airbag disable?

My little one is so much happier in the front, especially in the rain.

WaccaWacca Thu 21-Jul-16 18:01:10

I remember those days. I used to drive like a maniac just to get places and stop him screaming. It was so dangerous. And I took a lot of buses!

Mine was dreadful until he was big enough to go in a forward facing seat. Then it was like a switch and he was fine. Positively happy in fact.

WaccaWacca Thu 21-Jul-16 18:21:43

In terms of advice, I used to time every journey I needed to take in the car around nap time. Not always possible I know but I got quite good at it. I often used to arrive places really early, because hanging around for an hour or so was much more preferable to travelling when he was awake.

bekindtome Thu 21-Jul-16 18:27:30

A mirror helped my dd2.

eternalopt Thu 21-Jul-16 18:27:51

Have you one of those mirrors to put on the headrest so you can see them? It also mean they can see you if you help them figure that out with some frantic shouting and waving! Although mine prefers looking at himself to me! Keeps him happy

fusspot66 Thu 21-Jul-16 18:34:00

Is he too hot in the car seat? My otherwise very contented DD bawled if she was overheating.

FruitCider Thu 21-Jul-16 18:38:26

My dd was like that. As dreadful as it sounds if I had to go somewhere I used to turn my radio up and try my best to ignore it confused

whatsthatnow Thu 21-Jul-16 18:39:16

Is he still in the baby car seat? I find my chunky monkeys hated being squished into them and I used rear facing group 0+/1 seats so they had a bit more room. Usually improves then.

Imknackeredzzz Thu 21-Jul-16 18:40:54

Mirror worked for mine, so he could see himself

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate Thu 21-Jul-16 18:41:20

My DD2 did this. It was horrible, like torture. She grew out of it at around 8/9 months. It will almost certainly get better, just keep swimming - if you know yor baby is clean, fed and not strapped in too tightly then that's all you can do. The phase lasted about 3 months for me and once or twice I did have luck by putting her in the car seat first and walking around holding it to get her to sleep, then super stealthy transfer to car and instantly drive off. This is not a very practical solution though!

Good luck - it will end eventually.

Believeitornot Thu 21-Jul-16 18:42:06

Check his seat - does he need the settings adjusted.

Also what is he wearing? It's so hot, I didnt bother with much beyond a vest. You can put a blanket over them.

I couldn't put mine in just after a feed as their tummy got squashed.

anotherdayanothersquabble Thu 21-Jul-16 18:48:40

DD was like this, it was a nightmare and I collected a couple of speeding tickets in the process. We had one of these..
www.amazon.co.uk/Tiny-Love-Take-Along-Mobile/dp/B00F1CPBQ0

I also timed journeys with nap times, I would put her to sleep in her bedroom in the dark with her sound box on and carry her to the car with a blanket over the car seat to keep it dark.

Desperate times but she has grown out of it, she is 9!!

Wigeon Thu 21-Jul-16 18:50:45

Oh gosh, my DD1 went through that phase. On one memorable journey which was really long she managed to keep it up for about an hour, even with DH in the back holding her hand, singing to her, stroking her etc. The only thing which helped was stopping the car and giving her a cuddle. Then as soon as we strapped her back in, the screaming started up again. Another thing which helped was her getting older.

<unhelpful>

Sun16 Thu 21-Jul-16 18:57:12

The main culprits for my screamer were reflux and being too hot in the car seat.
Do what you can to get him to take the dummy, for the car alone it is a godsend.
He will grow out of it but it's hell while it lasts flowers

Claraoswald36 Thu 21-Jul-16 19:00:04

Went on with both kids until they went in their upright car seats.
With dd2 we had to have car free days where I took them out on the bus in the sling just for a break from the screaming. It will stop with the change of seats though

Lules Thu 21-Jul-16 19:07:45

Yes, it was utterly awful. I've just changed him to a forward facing seat at 10 months (yes, I know the risks) and it's instantly so much better. That's a long time to wait though sorry!

livinginabox Thu 21-Jul-16 19:41:25

I gave up car journey for a while when DS was little. It just was t worth the stress.

TiggeryBear Thu 21-Jul-16 19:55:37

My DD got like this until I removed the head hugger bit as it was squashing her head too much to be comfy & the shoulder straps were too low so they were hurting when pulled tighter. She's much happier now.

ShatterResistant Thu 21-Jul-16 19:58:13

I third the mirror recommendation. They like looking at themselves, and it also means you can see them, which, in my experience, makes the screaming a bit more bearable for some reason.

PontypandyPioneer Thu 21-Jul-16 20:04:06

My DS did this until I put him forward facing at around 11 months - I couldn't stand the screaming on every car journey. I also started to become a bit of a recluse, nothing helped him.
Sorry no help but lots of sympathy as it was awful.

ProbablyMe Thu 21-Jul-16 20:09:12

My DS was like this until last week when in desperation I moved him from his infant seat to an extended rear facing seat suitable from birth. I'm not sure what did it - whether it was being able to see the mirror we have on the headrest so we can see him, the different seating position or being higher up but it has worked and I no longer avoid and dread leaving the house to go in the car. He's nearly 11 weeks.

Fuckoffdailymailyoufuckers Thu 21-Jul-16 20:12:50

Ds2 was like this. He is 2 now and he still cries half the time if the car stops at the lights or in traffic. He also cries when we drive to places he doesn't want to go, like the filling station or the doctors - he knows the routes even from his rear facing seat.

With my ds, he just wanted to be on the move all the time and can't bear to be still. He would also cry in the sling or buggy if we weren't moving enough him. Some kids are harder.

I used to, and still do, get upset when he's upset. I used to repeat mantras to myself when he was crying in the car like "he's safer crying than he would be if I started speeding/panicking/etc" over and over. Helped me keel calm. flowers

Twine88 Thu 21-Jul-16 20:15:18

My Dd sobbed endlessly as a newborn in the car, the onlynthing that helped was getting a mirror.

Not2bObvious Thu 21-Jul-16 20:18:46

I had this and when I brought my dd to the paediatrician for her 6 week checkup I asked him. He said first look at the child and the problem, it was the head hugger thing on my maxi cosi seat, he said she'd out grown it, took it out and voilà! No more screaming. Gosh that takes me back nearly 12 years

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