drinking and baby

[pickledgirkin]

Hi all, this may seem silly but I just wanted to do a poll as partner and I are having some disagreements and this might help solve it. If one parent drinks in the evening, and the other parent doesn't, which parent should have responsibility for the baby that night? Would appreciate your thoughts! xxx

[Nicnak2223]

Depends on how much they've had to drink and how they both feel. I had a few drinks last night and still got up when I heard the baby (fortunately only 20 mins sgo)

Does either parent have work the next day? Is the baby breast fed? Does the baby settle better with one parent?

Sorry unless we are talking really really dangerous drunk then I believe either parent would be fine.

[icklekid]

I think it depends if your talking 1 drink or more? 1 drink doesn't mean they then can't look after a baby- they shouldn't be co sleeping but could still wake up and give baby a bottle! If the same person was having a drink every night that would be more worrying as should be more fairly split surely? Presuming its not every night would make more sense for person who hasn't drunk to have baby that night!

[Cliffdiver]

Well, it would obviously be more responsible for the non-drinking parent to be responsible for the baby.

That being said, if only one parent drinks then if would not be 'fair' for the non drinking parent to be constantly 'on call' and not have a 'night off', especially if you have a night needs baby.

When I stopped BFing when DD2 was 17mo, DH and implemented a 'routine': night one parent A is 'responsible' for attending to DDs from bedtime until 4am and parent B is responsible for attending to DDs from 4am onwards. Which may involve a 5am wake up with DD2. The next night it switches and so on.

Could you do something like this so the 'on call' parent can make the call on their 'night off' whether to drink or not?

DH doesn't drink, but I do. I suppose the difference with us is that our DDs are older - 2 and 4 and far less needy at night then a baby, so even if I am the one attending to a DD when I have had a glass of wine my tending to them usually just involves tucking in / finding teddy lost in bed rather than feeding etc.

[uhoh2016]

1 or 2 drinks then I'd say either of you can see to baby if 1 of you has had a skin full then it's best the sober 1 sorts out baby.
Nothing wrong at all with having a night on the beer if the other 1 isn't drinking