why do my kids hate "organised fun"?

[hmmmum]

It's raining out and I am utterly exhausted. Thought it'd be fun to take my DS who's almost two to a music class for toddlers. But no, he just spent the whole time tantruming and trying to open the door, or go behind the cafe counter i.e. all the forbidden things. He loves singing and dancing so I thought he'd like it. I also thought it'd be nice to get out of our teeny tiny very messy flat and actually see some other adults. We had to leave the class early as he was being so naughty. Just so fed up. Back at home now just looking at all the mess and feeling totally overwhelmed.
I remember my DD at this age used to go into a huge huff when I took her to classes like this. I just don't understand it.
I am a SAHM and was planning to go back to work about now, and now I really want to. The days are so long if you can't go to stuff like this and mix with other people. I have a couple friends I could text to meet up with, but I'm so tired I have no chat.
Just so fed up of the rain, the exhaustion, the tantrums and the fact that our country is turning into some kind of racist-infested nightmare.
Just one of those days where I'm wishing it'd be over.
Ughhhh.

[MinnowAndTheBear]

I know how you feel OP. If I were you I would keep going with different groups: even if your DC's behaviour doesn't improve you might start to see some familiar faces and make friends. It always cheers me up to have a quick catch up with a friend, and it takes your focus off the child's behaviour in a way that gives you a bit of a mental break.

[minipie]

Sympathies. I think at this age they just want to do exactly what they want to do, not follow anyone else's rules. They're not old enough to realise they might have a nicer time if they participated. It's a lovely age in some ways but bl**dy difficult in others.

Good luck with the job hunt - IME going back to work makes it all SO much better.

[hmmmum]

thanks Minnow. Yes it can be really unrelenting stuck with a tantruming toddler all day with no other company!! not good for the mental health.

[minipie]

By the way - what about playgroups rather than music classes? They are more of a free for all and might suit better.

[minipie]

Oh and they last longer than music classes and are cheaper...

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

Have you tried going to an unstructured type of group, often called Parent and Toddler groups I think? Where the organisers just lay out toys and the parents chat, drink tea and keep an eye on the little ones? Your child might prefer this sort of group to one where they have to follow what everyone else is doing, and you would still get out and to meet other adults.

These sorts of groups are often organised in church halls I think

[hmmmum]

yeah minipie, it's like when they're at home they want to play with anything except their actual toys. Like you say it can be really fun but sometimes it gets a bit much. It was at this age with my DD too that I started to find being a full-time SAHM really hard. They're just so full on at this age. It's lovely when you're rested, but can get on top of you when you're knackered and fed up. Cannot wait for my DH's annual leave.....

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

X-post with minipie - playgroup is the word.

[meowli]

Don't despair. I think you're right about the 'organised' bit. They do enjoy these things, but only on their terms, when they want to do it! I think most 2 year olds just won't take to anything very structured.

Could you get together with friends at a soft play centre, where the children can go wild run around on their own while you have a coffee?

Also...and I hesitate to suggest this on MN , there's nothing wrong with snuggling down in front of the TV/video for a while on a rainy day.

[minipie]

I know what you mean! At that age anything new (including non toys) is preferable to stuff they've already played with. That's another reason playgroups are good - a whole load of new toys for them to play with.

Hope you get a good rest at the weekend. Get DH to take them out for a bit?

[hmmmum]

yeah playgroups are a great idea actually.... I'll look into that. Our timetable has changed because until a week ago he was napping in the morning but now he's napping in the afternoon. Which is good actually because there's a lot more stuff on in the mornings. We used to go to a children's centre nearby which was great but it's closed because of council cuts...but I'm sure there'll be some church-run ones.

[hmmmum]

yeah I should get a bit of a rest at the weekend thank God. Not too much as we've a lot to do but a bit.
off to research playgroups... with some unmumsnetty cbeebies playing in the background

[Luckystar1]

Keep going! I've found the first week or two of a new group is hard as they're exploring a new place. Once they're used to it, they actually (sometimes) participate in the class!!

It will also let you see that every week one or other of the children will act up so you know you're not alone!

Contrary to everyone else here, it seems, I've actually found the more organised groups easier. They're more enclosed so it's easier to keep an eye on DS. Also the same people and children go every time so he and I get used to them.

[minipie]

Lucky I agree that organised groups are definitely easier for the parents IF your child will cooperate. Playgroups are often mayhem and you do have to watch a 2 year old closely (though some people don't seem to watch their kids at all ). However if the OP's son won't cooperate at organised groups then playgroup might be better for him?