How the heck do you get your child to go in the direction you want them to?!!

(17 Posts)
Penguin13 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:08:31

This is probably the kind of thing that is really obvious to a natural parent. I am not that parent. DD 17mo likes to walk but every few steps is distracted by something, goes in completely the opposite direction to where she is supposed to be going, refuses to hold hands etc etc. A 5 minute walk turns into a 30 minute slog and I end up carrying her for safety/time constraints so I end up slinging her in the pushchair far more than I would like at her age.

How did you teach your toddlers to go where you wanted them to? And am I just being wildly unrealistic in my expectations to hope that I could even start to teach this at DD's age? I tend to think most of it is distractability as there are so many exciting things to look at, along with a healthy dollop of testing boundaries but it is exhausting! I am not expecting at she will suddenly transform into a highly biddable child but if anyone has any tips as to how they approached this I would love to hear them.

Ffion3107 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:17:42

If you do find a successful method, let me know!
DD's 2.3 and is the same, but I look at the positive which is that they're intrigued by their surroundings and are eager to learn about the environment! Wait 'til she starts questioning! It's all good for the development though.
My niece (23 months) is the total opposite, she'll hold my hand and walk right next to me and not look around. She doesn't seem interested but she will listen and only walk where she is supposed to.
So unless she's in a pushchair, make sure you leave the house with plenty of time to reach your destination winkgrin

Muddlingalongalone Tue 07-Jun-16 19:18:46

By no means an expert - but allow as much time as possible, watching them explore (every bloody leaf in a 2 mile radius) is lovely if you have the time, insist on hands for busy areas or carry/pram even if there is wrestling/fighting and fairly frequent mummy's going to catch you game including changing direction/ swinging round and stealing valuable metres.

I've just hit the sit down and refuse to move stage - a new challenge yay!

Penguin13 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:22:31

You're right Ffion I love how curious she is She definitely doesn't embarrass me on a regular basis by baldly staring at people. The additional plus point if carrying is the additional energy expenditure. Who needs a gym when you have a toddler grin

Ffion3107 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:32:56

Ha! We recently went for a walk and she pointed at a man and said "look at that big belly!" It gets very embarrassing but I can't say she was wrong!!

justabigdisco Tue 07-Jun-16 19:34:06

She's 17mo! Stick her in the buggy! Save the ambling walks for when you've got nowhere to be wink

Penguin13 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:41:04

Haha brilliant Ffion. We're not quite at that stage of speech yet but can only imagine what will come out of her mouth when she starts forming sentences!

Thanks Just. I think I thought it was totally fine until I saw on mn that loads of people apparently didn't use their buggy anymore at the age of 15mo or so shock and I had a sudden panic I know, I know, what does it matter what anyone else is doing anyway That and the long hot walk on holiday today which involved DD taking about ten to twenty steps and then only when bribed with regular bits of pear and DH and I carrying her the rest of the way!

Pico2 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:45:37

I'm not convinced that loads of people don't use buggies at 15 mo. Unless they are carrying/slinging/driving their children about. DD2 is the same age and I can't get her to walk into the house from our drive. She makes a break for freedom or goes to play with the mud in a flowerbed.

We have got a little backpack with a strap and DD1 lines the idea of taking DD2 for walks with it. But if you pull on the strap DD2 falls over.

meringue33 Tue 07-Jun-16 19:51:39

Another vote for back to the buggy here! Life is madness without one. Keep it til they're 3 (or til they're old enough to ride a scooter or bike instead)

Penguin13 Tue 07-Jun-16 20:01:05

Oh thank god. Sane, realistic parents! The buggy stays grin

We have one of those backpacks too Pico but I find they are less good than I had envisaged for redirecting DD. She is very tenacious in her pursuit of whatever is in the exact opposite direction we are going in 99% of the time! We had one aborted walk to nursery 5 mins away as DD found other people's drives too irresistible not too explore.

Doje Tue 07-Jun-16 20:01:25

DS1 (2.4yrs) is by no means an angel, but when in a non stroppy mood will hold my hand on pavements by roads because I've always told him that's the way it will be. When he was younger if he didn't like it I said it's either my hand or back in the buggy.

Now he's older he doesn't fight it because holding my hand by roads is just what he does and what he's always done.

Off road, on paths he's another story! You just have to leave enough time for the meandering and shout wildly into the wind "This way". "Come on! We need to get home!" and bribe. "We can have dinner when we get home" or "We can watch xx when we get home" etc and on and on and on

Thistly Tue 07-Jun-16 20:08:47

pick your battles.

Let her enjoy herself, and she might enjoy walking in the future.

When yo have to get somewhere, use the buggy.

It's not her fault we live in a time bound world, so don't struggle to get her to conform to it too soon.

NaraDeer Tue 07-Jun-16 20:10:04

DD used to be a nightmare. She would always go the opposite way and point blank refuse to hold hands.
We kept using the pushchair in busy/dangerous places and used the backpack reins where safe and when it didn't matter how long it took.
One day at around 2 she grabbed hold of our hands and walked along next to us, in the right direction. It literally happened overnight. Now she refuses to walk UNLESS you hold her hand although she still initiates impromptu games of chase in shops occasionally

Do what's best for you guys, no one in RL will judge a 17mo in a pushchair!

Topsyloulou Tue 07-Jun-16 21:05:46

We have a similar problem with DS, 21 months. He wants to be far more independent than he is. He will hold hands for roads & if we're going for a walk in a park etc he's generally ok. Trying to get him to walk round the supermarket to pick up a pint of milk is another matter! If there two of us we generally let him walk but take the pushchair too but if I'm on my own & have things I need to do it's normally the pushchair. DM has a set of reins for him & he is fine on them for her, not so much for me. He's just started being a pushchair refuser & is becoming a bit like Houdini once he's in it!

TiredOfSleep Tue 07-Jun-16 21:22:31

DD was worse at exploring everything for a few months after she had learned to walk and is better now at 2.3 but will often just refuse to walk and want to have a sit.

I used to be a sucker for carrying her if she asked, but as she's got older and heavier I go with the resting legs followed by 'ooh did you see the imaginary horse/fox/mouse round the corner'

switswoo81 Tue 07-Jun-16 21:57:08

My 16 month old is in the buggy all the time.we might take her out in the park or for a stroll around the estate but there is no way I'm dumping the buggy for a long time. I can't take 30 minutes to get 5 metres so she can point at every piece of dog shite in the vicinity!

FreedomMummy Wed 08-Jun-16 09:45:16

I have my 21 month old in a buggy if we are walking great distances or actually need to get stuff done. If he is out of the buggy I use a LittleLife backpack on him to at least keep him vaguely going in the right direction!
I used the buggy for my DD until she was over 3 if we were going on longer walks places, definitely do not get rid of the buggy!!

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