Just lost temper with DS over not cleaning up his toys...

(9 Posts)
AtAt Fri 20-May-16 14:03:55

And I feel awful sad. I'm 30 weeks pregnant, dh is away on business, so just almost 4 year old DS and I at home. I took a few days off to spend with him. It is always a struggle getting DS to clean his toys up. It's the only thing I ask him to do, and despite trying to enforce a rule of only having one thing out at anytime, it still ends up looking a tip in the living room. Just asked him to clean up his toys so we could watch a film, he ignored me and kept playing. I asked again, and he ignored me. I then said I'd count to 10, and if he wasn't tidying up, I'd throw a toy away. As I was counting, he counted with me, but still wasn't doing anything. I put a toy in the bin (it was one that was broken, and I'd been meaning to throw it away anyway). He started crying, and I then really yelled at him to just tidy up. He then finally cleaned up. We've now had a cuddle, and I've explained it's not nice not to clean up after himself, and I was sorry for yelling, but he needs to start doing as he's told. Please can anyone give me any tips to not let it get to that stage again? I feel guilty that I made him cry...

SleeplessRageMonster Sat 21-May-16 10:59:27

Most say count to 10, walk out the room etc. I think you should also bear in mind a child of only 4 can only do so much - making a game out of tidying helps sometimes (I pretend we're cranes and diggers which gets my kid part helping, but I always help too). He also knows if he doesn't help tidy up the mess he made, the toys will be put in bin bags then put in the garage.

Artandco Sat 21-May-16 11:03:58

Did he not want to watch a film though if still playing? Personally I would have just left him playing with toys rather than make tidy and watch film

In future, I would box up some toys and put high out of reach. So he has less to get out at a time. Then swap toys around every 2 weeks or so on rotation.

Also encourage small toys with pieces to be played with at the table. A) stops then being trod on. B) good habit with new baby as by the time baby is crawling he will likely be using small pieces etc so out of baby reach

AtAt Sat 21-May-16 19:18:11

All fair points. I've been out today, and the living room was a tip when I got home. I asked ds if he wanted to help, he said no, so I just did it myself rather than try and get him to help. It was a lot less stressful, and he did actually pass me a few things of his own accord for me to out away, so definitely the way forward grin

Artandco Sat 21-May-16 19:38:04

I would get him to help, it's his mess. But just don't expect him to do all alone. So something like ' oh I can see you have a lot of toys to tidy, would you like me to help you? Why don't you do the trains in that box and il do the animals.' Etc

WordGetsAround Sat 21-May-16 19:40:58

We used to put The Cat in the Hat CD on (about 8/9 mins long) and both tidy the room together, trying to beat the end of the story. Worked really well and I have great memories of those days!

Ilovewillow Sat 21-May-16 19:44:20

We have a rule that no new toys come out until the last lot are tidied away so there are never loads to do. My nearly three yr old has a play dustpan and brush so we make a game and sweep them up or have a race to see who can it the fastest!

kiki22 Sat 21-May-16 19:56:44

Mine is 4 and gets pocket money for helping £2 a week for keeping his room tidy (though hes 4 so its my no means spotless) and putting his toys away I the living room, he can earn more if he chooses to by doing things like dusting feeding the cat this comes in at 10p a task. He usually walks away with £3 a week, he has managed to save enough to buy himself a few things that otherwise would have been xmas/birthday gifts.

I really think teaching them to clean up after themselves is such a valuable skill plus pocket money is teaching them about value and savings plus teaching cause and effect.

neonrainbow Sat 21-May-16 19:58:34

Make a game of it... say "i bet you cant tidy up all these toys in 3/5 minutes" and time him and make a huge fuss if he does beat the time you tell him and sat "now ah these toys are tidied up we can ... (insert fun thing here)....you could even do a scoreboard where each day he has to try and beat his time. Or do a marble jar and if he does it within a certain time each day or does something the first time hes asked he earns a marble. When he gets a certain amount of marbles he wins a prize. Or at that age my dss was very money oriented so he was very happy to get like 5p because he didn't know what it was actually worth. But children that age can be ignorant little gits. If you do marble jars etc make sure he knows exactly what will earn him or lose him marbles in advance and make sure you also stick to the rules even if he being a pain in other ways if hes earned a marble then he earned it and shouldn't taken away. It honestly works so well with my dss who is 9 now but he loves anything that starts with "i bet you cant..."

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