Using the potty as an excuse

(3 Posts)
skankingpiglet Mon 09-May-16 00:17:50

We have recently potty trained DD. All has been going pretty well with still the odd accident, but I don't think it's bad considering her relatively young age (22mo).

However... bedtimes have now become a nightmare. She used to go happily to bed after a story (or 3). We'd tuck her in, say goodnight and leave. Some nights she'd go pretty much straight off, others you would hear her chatting or singing to her teddies first for 15-20mins, but she wouldn't get out of bed. Since training she is straight out of bed the moment we are at the bottom of the stairs, calling that she needs the potty. If we go back to her and put her on the potty she'll try everything to get us to engage with a game/song etc, basically anything that delays bedtime. We don't go along with this, keep things boring, and reiterate it's potty then bed. Sometimes she does manage something on the potty (usually you see her trying very hard to eject at least something), but most often there is nothing or at best a dribble. She will sometimes sit happily in silence on the potty for 10mins producing nothing! We can be called back a number of times and it's meaning she's going to sleep about an hour later than before (still waking at the same time, still taking the same daytime nap). We don't have 'non-producing' requests to use the potty during the day btw.

It seems like a clear bedtime delaying tactic, but we're not sure how to handle it. We're not happy ignoring the requests as sometimes it is genuine (and sometimes although it wasn't in the beginning, by the time an hour has gone by she actually does need a wee). In fact there have been a couple of occasions she has removed her bottoms and pull up and weed on the carpet when we have ignored her after several previous unsuccessful attempts, or pooed in her pull up. Also it feels wrong to overrule and dismiss her that we know better and she doesn't really need it IYKWIM?
Then there is the issue of getting her off the bloody thing when we do go in to her. She'll sit and sit, trying to engage us. We'll say it's bedtime, you need to hurry up, ask if she's finished. She always says no she needs to go and then just continues to sit there. It must be incredibly boring, no interaction, barely enough light to see by, yet she still won't give up! For other things I want her to do I count to 3 which works very well, but again it seems wrong to tell her she's got until I count to 3 before I lift her off the potty and put her to bed - I'm not sure I could wee or poo to a countdown!

I get the feeling we are being a bit soft somewhere, but I'm not sure with which part, or how to remedy it. Any suggestions please?

MrsPatrickDempsey Mon 09-May-16 08:10:18

What about a tweek in the bedtime routine to make a try on the potty one of the last things she does so you can be fairly confident that she won't need to go if she calls you?

skankingpiglet Mon 09-May-16 19:51:50

It already is the last thing now before climbing into bed as we say bed after books and she asks for the potty. We bring it into her room so she doesn't get the excitement of a trip to bathroom and put her into bed as soon as she climbs off. Even if she does something in it at that point, she still may or may not do something later, there doesn't seem to be any correlation.

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