Single Dad needs the loo, what to do?

(40 Posts)
CSUK Wed 27-Apr-16 22:54:33

Hello everyone - I recently became a single Dad and I have a shared living arrangement, so my Son spends half his time living with me - He is 2 years old.

I seem to be coping well with most aspects of the lifestyle, but I am having a real issue with what to do, when I need to take a leak.

I try my hardest to wait until nap times and things, but with all the holding it in one can do, sometimes you just got to go!

I can leave him behind the stairgate at the top of the stairs with all the room doors closed, but he just cries, like I am leaving him - He can be clingy, with us separating.

I don't want him to be upset, I have tried telling him I am going to the loo, that doesn't help.

I leave the bathroom door open when he is behind the stairgate, but as he cannot see me, hearing me is not enough to keep him calm.

He is a very inquisitive young man, likes to explore and if I take him into the bathroom with me, I have to close the door as the stairgate does not fit across the stairs.

I have only taken him into the bathroom with me once, since his Mom left and once before.

On one of these occasions he tried to put his hand under the flow/stream, if you know what I am saying, the more recent time he watched intently - he has recently learned how to say his colours and was telling me what colour my wee was.

It's all a bit awkward and weird and I really have no idea how to handle the situation.

My own Dad was not around growing up - but I did have an older brother who was not much older than me and so I remember him going with me when I was very young.

Any ideas on what's best for me to do when this happens?

MarthaCliffYouCunt Wed 27-Apr-16 22:56:03

Take him with you, give him your phone.

MailonlineEffOff Wed 27-Apr-16 22:57:43

Put a video on and sneak out of the room.

mirrorballs Wed 27-Apr-16 22:57:53

Take him with you, wee sitting down.

blowmybarnacles Wed 27-Apr-16 22:58:44

Bring him with you with a book / toy to play with. If he watches you he'll train early hopefully. Teach him not to put his hand in, like anything else, eg, not to put hand in door when closing. etc.

I never manage to pee in peace, the joy of parenting. grin

CSUK Wed 27-Apr-16 22:59:16

Erm he doesn't play with phones, the last time he was given one, it was his Mum's, he threw it, he smashed the screen. God knows what would happen in the bathroom.

blowmybarnacles Wed 27-Apr-16 23:00:19

re-reading - why is it weird/ awkward?

Whatamuckingfuddle Wed 27-Apr-16 23:00:27

Take him with you, it's completely normal

Angelik Wed 27-Apr-16 23:00:36

no such thing as privacy when you're a parent. also, watching you will teach him what to do. there's no harm in it. my two regularly inspect my emissions and I get a full report too!

makes me wonder if you might be missing on other joys such as bathing together?

MarthaCliffYouCunt Wed 27-Apr-16 23:01:05

Ok well then another toy! Hes your child, you should know what he likes to play with.

blowmybarnacles Wed 27-Apr-16 23:01:09

Do not give him your phone! toilet + phone = disaster!!!!

AlpacaLypse Wed 27-Apr-16 23:01:28

Take him with you and try to organise yourself so he can't get his hands into the stream! And if he does, hey ho never mind, cleaning up wee is something that us parents will be doing for a couple more years yet... smile

KeepGoingKeepGoing Wed 27-Apr-16 23:02:20

Sit down to pee. Take him with you. Pee quickly!

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 27-Apr-16 23:02:38

shove him in the cot.

if he cries he cries.

there are always going to be times and places where he can't come fir safety or general privacy reasons and you are going to work yourself into a frazzled trying to prevent him from.crying.

make sure he's safe and just go.

PandasRock Wed 27-Apr-16 23:02:43

Take him with you, comment age appropriately on what is happening (it's nothing to be awkward about - everyone does it! Imagine having a conversation with a toddler about why your wee is red, and what exactly it is you are sticking up your fanjo, and why they shouldn't stick things up their bottom grin)

Sit down to wee if you really can't distract him from trying to play with your urine.

elQuintoConyo Wed 27-Apr-16 23:03:48

I second wee sitting down! Or keep him in the bathroom with you and give him some bath toys to play with or something - stand him in the bath?

DS once stuck his head between DH's legs to look at the wee and got a wet head grin we used to keep a plastic box of interesting things in the bathroom: plastic bracelet, kinder egg case, small car, bits and bobs that'd distract him. I often had DS sitting on my lap while i was going about my daily business still do he is 4.4

It is sweet that they are curious. I let DS count put the squares of loo roll for me grin

MarthaCliffYouCunt Wed 27-Apr-16 23:04:52

Ooh i know! Get him a potty and he can wee too while you are weeing!

hownottofuckup Wed 27-Apr-16 23:04:55

Haha either take him with you, it'll quickly cease to be interesting. Or, leave him behind the stairgate but continue to talk/sing. Taking a wee takes no time he'll cope that long. Plus if he see's you are comfortable and come back no probs it'll all help with him understanding he doesn't need to worry when you are out of sight, you'll be back soon and all will be well.
Letting him come with you can help with potty training

MarthaCliffYouCunt Wed 27-Apr-16 23:05:06

Or he can pretend to!

Malibubaby32 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:05:13

Just take him with you, I'd would be good for when he is potty/toilet training to see what to do and know what "wee" is, and could soon recognise himself that he is having a wee when he feels it in his nappy, wish my dp would do this with my ds tbh, he learns quickly from being shown what to do lol grin, might take the awkward feeling away too if you feel it is teaching him about seeing lol hope that makes sense and I'm not just rambling

LaContessaDiPlump Wed 27-Apr-16 23:07:51

Only weird if you make it weird - to him it's just life! Remember: if you show that you're embarrassed then he'll learn to be embarrassed too. Just respond calmly and factually to any comments ('Yes, Daddy wee-wee is yellow') and carry on as normal.

Maybe something like 'You must stand back, or wee-wee might get on your hand. We don't touch wee-wee, it's dirty' might help - establish a system where he is allowed to stand next to you or by the door or something (out of range!) and praise him when he follows the system.

My DC (both boys) have always come in when I pee. At least you don't to bat his hand away from sanitary towels or explain why you have a 'little nappy' with blood on hmm ah, the joys.

You'll be fine op!

Malibubaby32 Wed 27-Apr-16 23:10:47

Peeing not seeing blush

CSUK Wed 27-Apr-16 23:20:59

I really like the idea of having a box of toys and curious objects for him to play with - at the moment the next closest thing is the bathroom bin and that seems to have it's own unique appeal, so that might really work for us.

I cope so well with almost everything else, I bath him fine, we have a whole play routine around running the bath getting changed and saying bye-bye to the water - It's just this one thing that seems to make me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe I am just overthinking and worrying and not seeing the world through the eyes of a two year old, enough.

LouBlue1507 Thu 28-Apr-16 07:41:17

It takes a minute to pee, he'll be fine, even if he does cry for a few minutes. There are times when you are going to be out of sight for a few moments and LO needs to learn that that's okay and Daddy will be back. You can't prevent a child from crying all their life so dont worry about it smile

kd83 Thu 28-Apr-16 13:30:47

Definitely take him with you and get him a potty. It will be really helpful come potty training as he will have some idea about what to do.

You might have to pee sitting down though unless you want a very messy bathroom come potty training!

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