Feeling like I can't cope

(8 Posts)
Fuzzyduck21 Mon 18-Apr-16 12:43:46

That's all really. I'm a sahm to a 7mo ds and finding it really tough. I am struggling to find motivation to go out but if I dont go out I think ds gets cabin fever as he gets bored very easily. Does anyone else feel this way? All the other mums I meet never admit they are finding things had which makes me feel like I'm the only one. I regularly cry as I feel I am a crap mum and can't cope. I want to clean my house, make my baby homemade food and make me and my husband dinner but rarely can do any of it as my ds wants to be near me at all times, which is lovely, but I don't know how to balance everything.

I also try to see in laws once a week or so but now just feel I don't have the energy and I feel awkward inviting them to my house as it's a bloody mess. I just feel like a crap mother and wife and don't know what to do.

Baby only wants to nap in my arms. He really needs his sleep or he gets upset. Have put him in cot for naps but will wake after 20 min and won't go back down and then he's unhappy as he's not had enough sleep. He needs min 1 hr per nap 3 times a day.

Anyone got any suggestions? Hubby works long hours then has to come home and cook and I just feel crap about it. I don't know how everyone else manages x

ruby242 Mon 18-Apr-16 14:35:47

I have an 8 month old and it's very hard work!! He's a bit of a Velcro baby so always wants entertaining. I find it best to meet with friends or go to classes as it keeps us both happy even if it requires the effort to get out and about (hard for us as he hates the car!) I think a lot of people struggle but don't admit it so don't feel bad. I had visions of dinner being on the table for my husband when he comes home too but it never happens!! I think it's starting to get easier now he's starting to play more on his own sitting with his toys so hopefully it will be the same for you 😀

iemma321q Mon 18-Apr-16 15:39:22

I have just posted something similar regarding running out of ideas to entertain my six month old. It's so tough!!!

Fluffywuffyunicorn Mon 18-Apr-16 15:49:52

It is tough. My dd used to be able to entertain herself for a short period of time. Enough time for me to quickly put a load in the dishwasher and maybe a quick basic clean.. Not anymore thoughsad she needs entertaining constantly or she starts having a little tantrum and starts throwing her self backwards. We are stuck in the house because there's nowhere to go and baby groups just sound like hell on earth to me. She's just turning 7months.

Sorry no help. Your not alone though.flowers

Kit2015 Mon 18-Apr-16 16:45:40

I could have written your post! My DD is nearly 13 months now but at 7 would only sleep on me and only me. I couldn't put her down or do hardly anything.
I just wanted to give you some hope. She's now able to sleep in her cot for 2 hours in the afternoon. (She wakes up after 1hr but I can get her back off) she's still fairly clingy but I can put her down and she will crawl around and Potter. I am very very very slowly getting other things done. Some days more so.

My advice is to go with it. Invite your in laws over it might help with entertaining the baby while you did something (even if it's to stand in the kitchen on your own for 5mins).

Also get out early. Go anywhere. Library/park/shops. It always made me feel like we had done something. I always felt worse when I was cooped up.

Do you have any baby groups you could go to? Sometimes I loved them other times my only thought was 'how do you look so put together?!' My DD loves other kids though so I embraced it.

It's hard. But you are doing an amazing job. cake

Coconut0il Mon 18-Apr-16 16:55:38

I think everyone feels like this sometimes. DS2 is 8 months and loves to be held, he will sometimes play with his toys for long enough for me to put a load of washing on or brush my hair but that's it. He has all his naps on me.
I love a clean house but just accept for now that I can't do everything. I try to do a little job everyday... put a wash on, clean the sink, polish the TV unit but that's it. I do try to go out each day even if it's just for a walk as DS does get bored if we're in all day. Sometimes I might be able to throw something in the oven for DP depends how DS2 is.
You're not alone, but it does get easier as they get older and a bit more independent.

uhoh2016 Mon 18-Apr-16 18:52:35

Do you get any help from your parents or in laws? If your mil wants to come round then let her help you out with the house, many a time my mum or mil has left mine with a big bag of ironing or washing I don't feel guilty about it.
Don't feel like you need to have a show house and tea needs to be on the table when dh walks through the door it's not a practical reality imo.
Lower your standards as long as your dc is clean and fed then you have achieved the objective of the day and look at anything else as a bonus.
Hugs wine

Cakedoesntjudge Mon 18-Apr-16 19:02:02

This could have been me writing as a flashback to my mat leave! My son is now 5 so it seems a bit like a distant memory now lol but just wanted to let you know it's entirely normal when you have a Velcro baby like that!

What I wish someone had told me (because as a young, first time mum, as obvious as it may seem, I genuinely had no idea!) is that it is ok to put them down. If they are fed and have a clean nappy it is perfectly safe and ok to put them down in their cot and get dressed or have a shower or do whatever it is that needs doing, even if they cry the entire time.

I feel like if someone had mentioned that to me I could have been one of those more put-together mums who managed to make it to baby groups and would have enjoyed my mat leave more. Good luck OP smile

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