is my son gender confused?

(15 Posts)
mothermother Wed 06-Apr-16 14:00:30

Hi everyone
My son is nearly 5 and has three older sisters. In the last few years i could tell that he always liked dresses, make up etc however now i can tell he sort of know it shouldn't be for boys to wear dresses but asks me with his little eyes full of hope. Today he has been wearing my dresses all day and his sisters did his make up. He is so happy it breaks my heart because i know how cruel the world can be.
Couple of days ago he said he wanted to cut his genitals off and stick girls ones on and this isn't the first time either, this happened when he was about 3 as well he said it.
Last night when putting pjs on he put his sisters nightie on.
He still adores cars, football, racing and i'm not sure if he is just giving in to his sisters because they refuse to play with any of his toys or if he genuinley wants to be a girl.
Everyone thinks it's funny but i just think of the world and how not everyone is going to love him and accept him if he really wants to change something.

VertigoNun Wed 06-Apr-16 14:07:59

Check your health and safety at home and support your ds dress and play as he pleases. I wouldn't go down HRT etc personally.

Ilovetorrentialrain Wed 06-Apr-16 14:08:07

Hi I don't have any proper advice to give, but reading this I wonder if your son is just trying to fit in with the majority, i.e. all the girls?

I completely understand you thinking ahead to people's attitudes etc but he is so young it might be a little early to think like this. I remember my brother as a little one absolutely fascinated by make up and wanting to try my aunty's make up on when I did. It didn't last and was a phase.

He sounds absolutely lovely in any case!

Claraoswald36 Wed 06-Apr-16 14:15:30

Sounds like he feels massively left out. I would be having a big chat with my dds about accommodating him so he doesn't feel like he has to change himself to be accepted.

I'm curious to know what he's like at school?

Out of the home of this was my child I would be looking at developing his identity with activities only he goes to - not gender specific just stuff to do that makes him feel like it's focused on him and he's not competing with the girls.

slugseatlettuce Wed 06-Apr-16 14:22:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slugseatlettuce Wed 06-Apr-16 14:23:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PAtoDP Wed 06-Apr-16 14:24:58

Christ please don't fall for the Trans Gender Kid BS.
Let him be himself. He's FIVE. It's either a phase, or he will be a teenaged boy in a dress so what.

MarvellousCake Wed 06-Apr-16 14:26:44

This doesn't sound too unusual to me. My best friend at that age was a boy and he loved wearing my dresses etc (he doesn't any more!).

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 06-Apr-16 14:28:39

He isn't gender confused, he's four. Let him be four.

YouSay Wed 06-Apr-16 14:31:23

I know plenty of five your olds with sisters who are exactly like your son. I don't think it is anything at all too worry about.

madamginger Wed 06-Apr-16 14:34:51

My DS is 5 too and is like your son except he has an older brother too.
From when he was 2 he would dress in princess dresses and play with dolls.
He says he wants to be a girl when he grows up.
we've explained that you can't change who you are and he will always be a boy but that he can play whatever games he wants and dress up in his sisters dressing up clothes.
It's hard sometimes but as he's got older he will play with cars and Lego whereas 2 years ago he only wanted dolls and frozen stuff.
He only plays with girls at school which is ok in reception but as they get older they tend to segregate into girl and boy groups which is what my son friends in yr2 have done and I worry a bit about it

Gillian1980 Wed 06-Apr-16 15:47:53

Too early to know, it could be a phase or it could be more significant.

When I was his age I had older brothers who I adored. I dressed in their hand-me-downs, called myself by a boys name and made willies out of paper which I sellotaped to my pants!

I grew out of that phase and my next phase was an everything-must-be-pink phase. Now I'm a 36 year old woman, perfectly happy in my gender.

mothermother Wed 06-Apr-16 17:39:07

Thanks everyone, i can tell he is left out because unless he pretends he's a girl and play dress up, barbies etc they refuse to include him.
At school he's veru much into outdoors and football and obsessed with cars, he asks me about mechanics of the car and how brakes work, how wheels turn etc wheneverwe are driving.
What upset me is the fact that he feels he wants to cut of his genitals and change them. I will have a big discussion with my daughters about playing with him. Thank you for replying x

Claraoswald36 Wed 06-Apr-16 23:13:11

Mothermother - your most welcome. Hope situation improves x

TiredOfSleep Thu 07-Apr-16 07:35:08

I think the genitals thing is just him understanding that it's not seen as acceptable to play with girls things unless you're a girl, so changing his genitals would 'solve' that. He just wants to fit in.

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