Can't control my anger: tips, strategies??

(4 Posts)
Flowerpower147 Tue 05-Apr-16 21:30:46

I often find myself in this situation where my 4 yo DS irrationally wants something impossible (eg he wants to kiss someone goodbye when that person has already left 5 minutes ago, he wants a massive chocolate egg for breakfast) and goes on and on about it till the point when I can't take the noise anymore and just lash out at him, or become very hard and snappy.

What can I do to keep my calm??? Has anyone been there and can give me tips? Do you have strategies to cope with the mounting lava of fury and anger??!

We've had the kids for a week solid (it was half term, nanny was on holiday), and my husband's just told me that this happens to me every few days, so I think it's quite bad. I hate myself when I'm like this to him.

uhoh2016 Tue 05-Apr-16 22:16:10

When you say you lash out do you mean you smack him or shout at him?

Kids do really push you to your limits I don't there's any of us that haven't lost it at some point. Sounds silly but try taking deep breath and taking yourself off to another room for a few minutes. When he wants to kiss someone who's already left calmly say why he can't and then try change the subject, so " x has already left we'll see them again tomorrow " said boring plainly and calm then " shall we watch a cartoon/ do some coloring / get a snack" said excitedly in the hope it distracts.

Flowerpower147 Wed 06-Apr-16 13:20:14

Thanks uho, I think you're right there's no magic recipe... i've done lots of reading last night on the topic, sounds like it's all about breathing, leaving the room if possible, being the adult, repeating a 'mantra' of 'I can stay calm, I'm the adult here' etc.... To answer your question no bizarrely I don't shout, I don't smack him - I put my hand on his mouth to stop the noise! How bad. Feel really guilty.

Thanks for offering your thoughts of advice! Ahh parenting, the hardest thing we've ever done in our lives.... .

jessplussomeonenew Thu 07-Apr-16 17:01:01

"How to talk so children will listen..." has a lovely idea of giving the impossible thing in fantasy. "Yes I bet you'd love a huge chocolate egg, pity we don't have one as that sounds fun, how big would you have, big as your head? that sounds great, and mummy would have one as big as the chair, oh you'd like one as big as the house..." etc, so that you acknowledge that they want it and have fun imagining it together in as crazy a way as possible, but without ever giving it - bit old for my little one but apparently it is effective and any way it sounds like a fun strategy to try!

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