Nastiness on Mumsnet

(21 Posts)
jsf123 Tue 29-Mar-16 13:48:28

I posted for the first time ever today. I asked about something that our family is struggling with at the moment, but the majority of responses were unpleasant and unhelpful. I thought this was supposed to be a helpful place. It's very definitely somewhere that I will avoid in future.

antiqueroadhoe Tue 29-Mar-16 13:50:15

Lots of people are really helpful and kind. Don't let a few put you off. flowers

ApocalypseNowt Tue 29-Mar-16 13:51:33

Can't really judge without knowing what your original thread was...

Did you post on AIBU?

Coconutty Tue 29-Mar-16 13:51:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick Tue 29-Mar-16 13:55:44

Yeah it sounded like a journo wrote that post.

gamerchick Tue 29-Mar-16 13:56:21

Read rather.

MTPurse Tue 29-Mar-16 13:56:35

I chose not to post on your other thread as it was written just a journalist would write it. We are overrun with journalists and it does make people be on guard.

OddBoots Tue 29-Mar-16 13:56:48

Being new to MN you won't know that it is not accepted to start a new thread about a current thread, you would be better off keeping this in your original thread.

Twitterqueen Tue 29-Mar-16 13:58:01

Unfortunately there is currently a growing tendency for a few to 'spoil' it for the many. Your OP was definitely in the style of a journo looking for material for a story I'm afraid - which is not uncommon here. I think the trick is to try to understand that other posters don't actually know anything about you, so try not to take things personally.

That said, just lately, I have been vilified, slagged off, insulted and name-called for posts that were meant to be unbiased and helpful. There is a real and growing hard-core of active, unpleasant name-callers who don't hesitate to belittle anyone for anything they don't like.

PerspicaciaTick Tue 29-Mar-16 13:59:18

I think I would have assumed you are a journalist from the OP of your other thread. Maybe try starting a new thread without firing so many questions at people and maybe explain your family's difficulty a bit more clearly?
Good luck.

FuckeryOmbudsman Tue 29-Mar-16 14:00:56

No-one was nasty on the other (short) thread.

Yes, some people said, very calmly, that it sounded like journalistic research (and we get a lot of that here).

Perhaps if you start a new thread,, focussing on your specific issue (without all the research-sounding general points) you will find the help you want on.

Because views on anyone thinks of reading texts (in the abstract) isn't going to help you with your current situation. And will make it sound as if your interest is theoretical (hence impression of journo research).

WellErrr Tue 29-Mar-16 14:10:14

Your other thread sounded exactly like journo.

You'd be hacked off with it too, the amount of bullshit threads we get on here whee you can write a long and reasoned reply only to see it turn up on the Wright Stuff or DM click bait.

KindDogsTail Tue 29-Mar-16 14:16:28

I have just read your original thread jsf123.

I cannot understand why people presumed it was written by a journalist. It seems to me to that you brought up an interesting moral dilemma and a very important one - too considering what has been happening to children via the internet, mobiles, etc.

For example, I did not read the whole thread, but one poster replied about how a boy was being seriously morally blackmailed by mobile by a girl, in a way no one of his age could have been expected to deal with.

I also can't understand why those who replied in that accusatory way to you were so sure they were right in thinking you were a journalist that they thought it would be all right to make those statements! Others might have wondered to themselves if they wanted but left it at that.

MNHQ must be monitoring posts. It could be left to them to look into anything they think is suspect. All that will happen as a result of these accusations is that people will stop posting about potentially important issues.

KindDogsTail Tue 29-Mar-16 14:20:44

I've just seen what WellErr said. That makes it more understandable, I did not realise that happens.

I can see why someone would be abstract though even if their own family is affected.

What is Wrightstuff and DM click bait?

gamerchick Tue 29-Mar-16 14:26:02

MNHQ must be monitoring posts

You think they do that?

FuckeryOmbudsman Tue 29-Mar-16 14:30:40

"MNHQ must be monitoring posts"

Nope, they reply on people reporting posts which potentially break talk guidelines.

Arfarfanarf Tue 29-Mar-16 14:30:48

Those replies were not nasty.
They may not have been peppered with huggy fluffy hunnikins but they werent nasty.
Your post did read like a journo. People just said that.
Nobody told you to fuck off. You werent insulted. Nobody was rude.
People were just wary because quite a lot of journos come on here, pop a thread like that on then form an article from the responses and tbh people are pretty sick of it.

antiqueroadhoe Tue 29-Mar-16 17:36:09

I think people thought it was a journalist because there were so many questions at the start.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 29-Mar-16 17:44:00

I've just had a look, it so looked like a journalist wanting their article written for them.

I'm sorry it's put you off MN, but I can see why those replied the way they did.

Buzzardbird Tue 29-Mar-16 17:51:09

It's strange that you come back to say that you are not coming back though?

You appear to have picked up on the terminology of the site so it is weird that you couldn't see how your post looked.

MissTurnstiles Wed 30-Mar-16 21:42:24

Sorry OP, but your thread really did sound like a journalist.

MNers are very cautious of veiled media requests. There have been too many occasions when MNers have posted thoughtfully and supprtively, often drawing on very personal experiences, only to find their words quoted by a Mail article or used as fodder on the Matthew Wright show.

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