"clingy" almost 3 year old

(5 Posts)
CathyCy Wed 23-Mar-16 05:31:38

I hate the word clingy but ... My daughter will be 3 in May and won't let me leave her side at toddler groups or at friend's houses, wants to come if I go upstairs when we're at home, doesn't want to be left alone at night. She is also asking for cuddles all the time. She is wary of other children. She also seems to have become scared of everything - ladybirds, dogs etc. She won't talk to adults she doesn't know, not even to answer e.g "do you want a drink?" She's generally more challenging e.g. Doesn't want to get dressed etc. She's always been cautious and quiet but this is more extreme. I have a four month old baby so might be related or just her age? The baby tends to be in the sling a lot, partly because I have to follow her around everywhere. Any tips? Tough love or support and wait it out? Sorry for long post!

Spandexpants007 Wed 23-Mar-16 05:37:41

Give her the time she needs. Don't force her to speak up or join in. Just be there for her until she feels secure enough to do things herself. It will take time.

redcaryellowcar Wed 23-Mar-16 05:49:54

Support and wait it out, my ds is similar, he's in reception year at school and after some very patient and gradual settling in at school he is now growing in confidence and loving it there. I'd suggest you find a lovely nursery that will let you stay while she finds her confidence, even if the two of you just sit in the corner reading books for a bit, you might have to play with her a bit to begin with so she starts to discover lovely things she can do there. As she begins to take herself off to explore something, make sure you stay visible, ideally where she left you, ask nursery what you can do to help, clean and tidy a box of toys, sharpen pencils, tidy the bookshelf etc, once she has built a good relationship with her key worker, breezily say (when she's busy and engaged in doing something) "I'm just popping out to get some apples for snack, I'll be about ten/ fifteen minutes" then go, get the apples, come back and let them have them for snack. As she builds confidence you'll be able to leave for longer, if there is a nice cafe locally you'll soon be on first name terms with the staff.
I'd also suggest you read a sort book about highly sensitive children because this resonated with me about my ds.
Jamie Williamson and 1 more
Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child: Seeing an Overwhelming World through Their Eyes

CathyCy Wed 23-Mar-16 05:57:35

Thanks. Should add that she does actually go to nursery two mornings a week. She seems to enjoy it although is a but wary when we arrive and is very quiet there.

redcaryellowcar Wed 23-Mar-16 14:15:59

The fact she goes to nursery is great, I had a slightly bizarre conversation of a mum who had a 'shy' child, (in her own words) who said she couldn't wait for her to gain confidence... I gently pointed out that even as adults there are some of us who love being centre stage in the local amateur dramatics so it and others who quietly volunteer to do the village plant pots, not everyone needs to be up tap dancing, the stage would get a bit crowded. I'd be more concerned on how happy she is.

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