Am I wrong to to be upset with my mum taking my babies precious first moments from me

(65 Posts)
ImYourDaughter Tue 22-Mar-16 19:39:49

I'm 22 and this is my first baby. She is 5 months old and gets constipated so I have been giving her an ounce of water with a little mango juice once a week for the past month. She loves it so crazily much so I thought I would try feeding her properly. I bought Mango packets, silicone first feed spoons, a little bowl. I sterilised them all and was telling everyone how excited I was to Give my DD her first try of food. My mum asked me what I would be doing today and I said I wasn't going out as i wanted to find the perfect time to do the feed where DD wouldn't be tired etc. like it has been so clear that I have been excited about this!

So I sat down with DD today and began feeding her I gave her a spoon and she loved it! So I gave her another, she was happy. Then my mum said can I have a go and obviously I said yes. My mum got so carried away I guess, feeding her so much and actually finished off the packet. She was cooing over my DD so much and my DD was extremely happy to be fed... But I really wanted to do it. It was my first time feeding my first baby an i was excited an all I did was give her two spoons and my mum did it until it was all gone. While I watched. DD wasn't even hungry after that.

I am wrong to be upset about this and things like it? It's not the only sort of "first precious moment" type of thing that I've just sat down and watched my mum experience rather then myself. I don't know if I am being hormonal right now due to time of month but I actually wanted to cry today...

lljkk Tue 22-Mar-16 19:48:50

Maybe you need to stand up for yourself. not aggressive, more like a playful "Oi, let me have some of the fun too."

Bit mountain from molehill, but I think maybe something deeper at work, about not asserting yourself confidently.

knittingbee Tue 22-Mar-16 19:50:42

You could have asked for the spoon back if it bothered you that much. You gave her the first spoonfuls too. I don't really understand what you're upset about.

neonrainbow Tue 22-Mar-16 19:52:19

Really? Youre massively overreacting.

Floggingmolly Tue 22-Mar-16 19:54:12

Oh dear God...

IdealWeather Tue 22-Mar-16 19:55:21

Your mum asked and you said yes.
You could easily have stopped her, ask her for the spoon back etc...

Reading the start of the thread, I expected that your mum has already fed her BEFORE you. Now that would have been 'stealing the moment'.
In the case you describe, I think it was more of a miscommunication issue. You just can't assume your mum will know his important it is fit you wo you telling her (or asking to have a go again etc)

elevenweekstogo Tue 22-Mar-16 19:56:11

She shared in one precious moment. You didn't ask her to stop so she probably assumed it was fine.

There will be hundreds of other moments. Maybe wait til she's not there to do other things?

First swings, first trip to the beach, first swimming, first toll to the right, first roll to the left, first bum shuffle, first patting a dog, first leaf picked up and admired.....it's all firsts, just enjoy the small things smile

Bunbaker Tue 22-Mar-16 19:56:28

In the grand scheme of things this is really not important at all. You just need a little perspective.

I say this with hindsight as the parent of a teenager.

NoOneIsInterested Tue 22-Mar-16 19:56:49

Do you live with your Mum?

Enjoyingthepeace Tue 22-Mar-16 19:56:50

Oh goodness, I don't know what to say.

This is Your Mother. Why didn't you just say "cmon mum, my turn now!'?

I hate to be brutal but you need to get yourself some backbone. You are a mother now. Do you want your daughter to see you as some kind of drip? Who never stands up for herself but moans incessantly about how unfair things are? Or do you want her to be proud of her strong mother who stands up for herself?

HermioneWeasley Tue 22-Mar-16 19:57:00

Wow, I'm afraid your overreacting. You gave her food, your mum gave her food. You were right there. From the thread title I assumed she had snatched her off you when she was born.

There are going to be plenty of firsts, chill out!

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 22-Mar-16 19:58:25

Sounds like you have general issues with your mum interfering? Must be more to it than this.

Northernlurker Tue 22-Mar-16 19:59:37

Is this really a big deal? shock

PunkrockerGirl Tue 22-Mar-16 19:59:55

You've a tough 18 at least years ahead if you're going to overreact to every little thing like this, OP.

NerrSnerr Tue 22-Mar-16 20:00:06

From this one incident it sounds like you're overreacting. Is there more to it?

Chocolatteaddict1 Tue 22-Mar-16 20:01:01

Your issue isn't that bad.

Dd1 was 4/5 months and I hadn't tried to wean her at all. Exdp brought her back from his mothers snd dd sneezed a long piece of speggetti come through her nose shockangrysad

Was fuming.

gunting Tue 22-Mar-16 20:01:13

You're being silly here.

DancingDinosaur Tue 22-Mar-16 20:02:31

It won't matter in the future, but I get how you would feel upset about it now.

WeDoNotSow Tue 22-Mar-16 20:03:56

I was like this with my first,
I think I just reverted back to being 'childlike' around my mum, she can be quite domineering and I was always scared of 'upsetting' her as a child/teen.
Another factor was confidence, I was 23 and very low in self esteem, and so would just follow what my mum said to do.
As my confidence grew I became much better And I was much more assertive with my second from the get fo

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Tue 22-Mar-16 20:04:02

You are overacting, love.

You gave her her first spoonfuls of food. Then your mum asked if she could have a go and you said yes. She wasn't to know you meant her to stop at a couple of mouthfuls unless you told her! But it's really not a big deal. It really isn't. Your DD had her first meal and loved it. That's great! Who actually spooned the stuff into her isn't that important.

Having said that, is there a backstory here? Does your mum have form for taking over where your DD is concerned? Do you live with her?

NoCapes Tue 22-Mar-16 20:04:05

Here - have a grip

Floggingmolly Tue 22-Mar-16 20:05:43

You sound very intense. Not going out all day so you can grasp the perfect moment to feed your baby? I know the first time is special, but she'll be eating 3 meals a day for the rest of her life.
Have you any idea how many fish fingers that is? smile

EverySecondCounts Tue 22-Mar-16 20:07:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quiero Tue 22-Mar-16 20:11:01

Give it a couple of months and you'll be happy to let strangers feed her if it gives you a break and you don't need to clean up.

As awful as it sounds, I can't even remember when my kids first had food. You'll be surprised at how little these things matter eventually.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Tue 22-Mar-16 20:16:17

You're being precious, OP. And you need to grow a backbone and speak up when something is bothering you. If this is such a big issue for you, it is beyond me why you didn't tell your mum no or stop her after a few spoons.

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