If you're an only child, how did you find parenting siblings?

[maamalady]

DH and I are both only children, and are expecting DC2 any time now (DD is 20 months, so a relatively small age gap). I am getting increasingly panicky about having more than one child - I know bugger all about sibling relationships! Is it really hard, or do you just make stuff up, muddle through and it all turns out alright?

[MadeinBelfast]

So far it's going ok! I actually find it very entertaining watching them interact which is happening more as they get older (they're 4 and 1 now). I don't think being an only has been a disadvantage, if anything, I just expect them to get along in a 'be grateful you've got each other' sort of way. I'm sure it'll be a nightmare when they can both talk and have strong opinions but there are moments when they are really sweet together. Good luck!

[TurnOffTheTv]

I've never given it a moments thought! I just let them get on with it.

[OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer]

i made sure to make a lot of fuss about the older one and (where possible) let him help with the tiny. There was quite a big age gap between them but other people have said the same tactic works with closer siblings.

The older one could hold the tiny as long as he was supervised, and we could all sit in a pile on the sofa together. We still put the now-Toddler in bed with Big Bro for the bedtime songs and stories.

There's a bit of policing going on "no you can't take your older bro's toy" and "be gentle with little bro" etc now that they are older, but generally we just try to be fair, to acknowledge that some toys -are- big bro's and the little one has to leave them alone. I don't think they should have to share everything, just most things.

We are lucky though that older bro had badly wanted a sibling and is besotted with him.

[maamalady]

I'm hoping DD will be like that, Meer! She is very keen on pointing out babies in the street, as well as hugging my belly and "washing" her doll, so fingers crossed.

All these threads about how people do/don't make siblings share, dealing with arguments etc really make me realise how peaceful my own childhood was!

[OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer]

yeah, had the same for a long time =) I'll admit there have been times I was glad that my husband wasn't an only!

I do think that the single most useful bit of advice we had was to make a big fuss of the first child when the 2nd came along. Really helped him adjust. Also never make comparisons along the lines of 'Big Sis can do this, why can't you?"

Best of luck =)

[Lovelymonkeyninetynine]

I didn't know anyone else worried about this!
I was so, so worried about having a second child when pregnant with dd who's now 1. Ds (3) in fact has coped brilliantly. If anything I feel, looking at them together like i massively missed out not having a sibling to grow up with. I wish I hadnt worried so much when I was pregnant.
In terms of parenting them, I think I've just muddled along so far. Saying that, I've found Dr Laura markhams book on sibling relationships good (can't remember what it's called, give it a Google.)