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Parenting

sending little one to nursery

38 replies

nicg85 · 09/03/2016 20:30

Dd is nearly 5 months and I will be returning to work sept/ October.
She will be going to nursery 2 or 3 days when I'm at work.
The last few days I've been thinking about how she will be at nursery.
I know it's a way off yet but I'm dreading her going.
She spends 24/7 with me and will then have to leave her Sad
I know she will probably love nursery and I bet most mums dread leaving their child but it's upsetting me thinking about it.

Do most LO'S love going to nursery?

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Trooperslane · 09/03/2016 20:32

Mine loves it. So much when she's with me she's a bit raging she isn't going to nursery.

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cornishglos · 09/03/2016 20:33

She might prefer a childminder.

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Trooperslane · 09/03/2016 20:33

Tbf DD was 14 months, v lucky with mat leave

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IamChipmunk · 09/03/2016 20:36

Mine went to nursery full time from 7 months. He loved all the different toys and activities. He has never been bothered to have been left, he settled in really well.

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BossWitch · 09/03/2016 20:38

Oh I know exactly how you are feeling. I hated the idea of putting my DD into nursery. It was hard at first, there were obviously days when she cried at drop off but I always used to ring once I'd got to work (about 15 - 20 mins later) and she was fine. She is 22 months now and loves nursery. I genuinely don't think I could look after her as well at home all day every day!

Be prepared for feeling crap, you most likely will, but that will pass and it will all be fine. Have you already chosen your nursery? You could do a couple of short visita to give you a bit of reassurance.

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bittapitta · 09/03/2016 20:38

She will be aged 1 year or so? Very different from a 5mo. She will love playing at nursery. 2-3 days at nursery and the remainder of the week with you is a really great balance.

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Banderchang · 09/03/2016 20:39

If she's nearly five months now and not going until Sept or Oct, she'll be twice as old by then. She'll be a different baby, honestly. Much more independent. I felt just like you and spent hours worrying about nursery (and later school), both of which went fine. DS took a few weeks to settle at nursery (he was 13 months when he started and went two days per week), but then had a good time and still aged nearly 7 asks to go back and visit sometimes. He still has friends from nursery days even though they're at different schools now. As long as you're happy with your choice of nursery, try to relax and enjoy the next six months. We had a lovely small nursery which worked well for us: better than a childminder as we have no local family and so couldn't risk a child care option with no back up if a single person was off sick. It's natural to worry, but try not to let that spoil your time off work!

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BossWitch · 09/03/2016 20:39

Oh forgot to say, DD was 11 months when she started nursery, she was full time.

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MeredithShepherd · 09/03/2016 20:39

25 month old ds has been going to nursery since he was 7 months and loves going!

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nicg85 · 09/03/2016 20:41

Aww thanks for your replies everyone, you've made me feel better Smile

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Fluffy24 · 09/03/2016 20:42

DS went 3 days from 7 months and full time from 12 months and appears to really enjoy it, enthusiastic about going, happy when he's there - I wept about the thought of it but in the end it was fine Grin

He is at a nursery.

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Bishybishybarnabee · 09/03/2016 20:43

I couldn't imagine it when DS was that age, the thought of him being somewhere without me was just horrible. He has just started nursery though (he's nearly one) and loves it. They do change so much in that time and although it's still difficult to leave him, seeing him independently toddle off and play when he gets there makes it easier.

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peppatax · 09/03/2016 20:45

A good nursery is always better than a mediocre childminder and you'll find the time you spend with her once you're back at work is so much more valued than while on mat leave. Friends found it difficult when their LOs built strong relationships with their childminder but at least at nursery, flexibility with staff means that they are adaptable to different people and you'll always be a consistent person for her. Combined with children the same age to develop friendships with, 2-3 days a week at nursery is not a bad thing!

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nicg85 · 09/03/2016 20:46

Oops posted too soon!
I have put her name down for a nursery so just waiting for them to contact me.
Like you say she will be a different baby when she is 11 months and will love it.

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ThisWasCrownjewel · 09/03/2016 20:50

DS went to nursery 3 full days per week from 16wks, absolutely loved it from day one and still does at 18mths - I agree with PPs that he's a bit cheesed off on the days he doesn't go. I've got a place booked for DC2 from age 12wks also, for 3 days per week, and don't feel in the slightest nervous about him/her going so young because I know how lovely the staff are, how much they love DS, and how well he's taken to going from such a young age.

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Dixiechick17 · 09/03/2016 20:54

I started my DD at nursery one day a week from six months old to get us both used to it before I return to work, which will be next week... she has been doing two days a week over the last month and will be doing three days when I am back. She loves nursery and is always happily playing when I arrive to pick her up. We have her first parents evening next week and they show us a dvd of how she interacts and plays when there :)

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mugginsalert · 09/03/2016 20:59

My son took a few weeks to settle in nursery but then loved it for all the years he was there and talks about it all the time (he started school in September). My dd loved it from the start, now she's 17 mo she runs in every morning, flinging her own coat off and diving into the toys without a backward glance. It's great to see. When I pick her up at the end of the day an we're both tired its so nice to hear from the staff about everything she's been doing while I've been at work. Good luck

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LauraMipsum · 09/03/2016 21:05

DD started nursery at 5 months. She's been there nearly a year (not full time though) and loves it. Apart from when her "best friend" comes and tries to cuddle her, then she pushes him into the ball pit apparently Shock But they get to do things that I couldn't facilitate at home (full body painting, messy play with jelly, huge baby sensory room). She settled in really quickly and she has a great bond with her key worker there, she runs in and holds her arms out to her doesn't make me feel redundant at all

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Muskateersmummy · 09/03/2016 21:06

Dd started at nursery at 5 months old. She loves it. It's always been harder for me than for her. If you can it might not be an bad ideal to do a gradual introduction before you go back to work, so she's used to not being with you 24/7. Xx

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nicg85 · 10/03/2016 08:05

Thanks everyone, you've all made me feel so much better!
I know she will love nursery it's just the thought of leaving her but in another 5 months she will be much bigger and a different baby.
I'm going to take her to nursery a few times before she actually starts to get her familiar with the place.

I've put her name down for a nursery I like but still waiting to hear if she has a place or not.
Now I'm worrying that she won't get a place and I've not put her name down anywhere else!
Going to ring the nursery later and have a chat with them xx

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Artistic · 10/03/2016 10:47

Hi OP, sorry if I bring in a negative opinion but here is what I experienced. Am sure am not in the majority but I have an October born who started nursery in October last year (when she was 1) and it didn't go very well! She only did 3 mornings but fell very ill almost every week...I later realised that Autumn is the worst time for colds and viruses for the healthiest of us. So for a little baby who's immune system is delicate, October was probably the worst time to have started nursery! She was there for 2 months and was ill with colds, coughs and high temperatures almost every week! Finally I had to stop. Gave her a long break over Christmas and then put her at a childminder for 3-4 full days. I have to say the difference is huge. She's not been ill, is well cared for and seems much more happier and content. I think the personal touch of the cm coupled with fewer children ( and hence bugs) has worked well for her.
With my older one I used a CM until she was 2 when she went to nursery and loved it from then. I did it differently this time thinking I had been too cautious last time around. But I've been proven wrong.

Maybe mine was a kind of child for whom nursery wasn't meant to work. Need not be the same for everyone. Or perhaps at a different time of year she may have settled better.

I would say - given that you might start in October like me - please consider all options and see what might suit your child best.

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Fluffy24 · 10/03/2016 11:27

In response to artistic's observation about the bugs etc - DS does seen to have a frequently runny nose (and brings most of them home and spreads them about) but I don't actually think that - unless there is a specific medical condition that impacts on their immune system - they do have a 'delicate' immune system, they just hasn't been exposed to as many bugs as the rest of us yet so are more likely to get a sniffle. DS is frequently sniffly but it doesn't seem to bother him and it had reduced since he started nursery - for us it was an observation rather than a problem but as artistic has pointed out all DC are different!

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ingenvillvetavardukoptdintroja · 10/03/2016 11:32

My 11 month old started this week. He cried when I took him home yesterday! He's always loved being around other kids and being busy so it's great for him.

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Mrscog · 10/03/2016 18:47

My son was ill for 8 weeks solidly when he started nursery like artistics however since then (he's now 4yo) he's barely had anything. I think a solid bout of illness is par for the course at some point in childhood when they first attend a setting, you either get it over when they're young and nursery or when they start preschool/reception but it will happen at some point!

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FlightofFancy · 10/03/2016 18:54

My DS went to nursery full time at 10 months and caught everything going. I think it was nearly 2 months before he did a full week! After that it was just the odd bug and he's now got an immune system of steel. He only got one bug in reception year at school, compared to some other children who were sick loads.

DD starts the same nursery in June, and having been all the way through once, I know she'll mostly love it. There are always days they're not up for it, like most of us, but the messy play without any clearing up is ace!

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