Tutor did something without my permission, should he go somewhere else?!

(5 Posts)
CraigN24 Wed 09-Mar-16 15:18:01

My son is 7 and is non verbal and has a range of learning difficulties and disabilities, he is still in nappies.

Today when I picked him up from the tutor I found him sat on a potty sobbing and eye poking / smacking his head and biting his hands ( the hands were bleeding!) When asked what was going on she told me she thought he was ready for the potty and wanted to try it out, I DIDNT give permission.

The potty/ toilet is a very traumatic thing for my son, I made a HUGE mistake when he was a toddler - 5 years old and allowed a " friend" to babysit for me.. Turns out he simply put my son the potty and left him there for hours because he didn't want to deal with changing nappies!

I had no idea this was going on until I got informed by the police that the person that was looking after my son had been arrested and sent to prison for 15 years for child abuse / sexual assault.... I feellike the worst parent in the world for leaving him with that monster!

The tutor knew some things have happened in the past involving my son and the person who went to prison but I didn't go into detail to what actually what happened because the truth is we still don't know the extent to what he did to my son, but I would've thought she would see my son was in distress and would take him off?!!!

I really don't know what to do regarding this situation because she didn't know however she shouldn't allow him to get that upset!

Opinions please

Thankyou

LemonBreeland Wed 09-Mar-16 15:21:47

I think in your sitaution when your son is non verbal and has such complex isues, she should definitely have spoken to you before trying to change something in his routine.

But alos, once she realised how upset he was at being on the potty, why didn't she stop? That sounds very uncaring to me. I'm not sure I could send my son back there.

wheresthel1ght Wed 09-Mar-16 17:49:13

If she didn't know then I don't see how you can be too angry with her for trying. However leaving him there to become so distressed is unacceptable!

Goingtobeawesome Wed 09-Mar-16 17:51:40

Don't send him back and report her to the authorities.

She sounds like someone who thinks she knows best and can sail in to be the hero achieving something the parents couldn't.

ohlittlepea Wed 09-Mar-16 17:56:51

So awful sad why on earth was he allowed to get so upset? Do he and the tutor have a good relationship usually? I'd be thinking about finding another one.

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