Moving forward: Regrets over having my Daughter with Ex

(2 Posts)
ourlife Wed 09-Mar-16 07:56:00

I suffering with anxiety due to fear about the future and regret because I caused it.
I regret having a child (who's 6 now) with my ex who I really don't like
I worry how we'll co-parent. I can't get him out of my head. He isn't a really bad guy but he and his whole family really look down on me and my background and have said some cruel things. And now we have a child together.
But she is a carbon copy of him - showing some really tomboy geeky qualities which are just like him and his elder daughter, a strong family trait on his side (nothing like me or my family) and I hate that. My day is a roller coaster of emotions. If she chooses something similar to his nature I'm gutted. If it's similar to me I'm happy. That can happen 20 times a day. I'm so unhappy - I obsess about it.
I believe that because of such strong similarity that my role in her life will just become insignificant.
I really really regret having her at this point. I feel so so miserable.

How do I learn to accept this situation, be a good mother and enjoy my life?

Tvfan1981b Sat 12-Mar-16 21:07:17

Hi
Thanks for sharing.
I think a lot of your issues are connected to unresolved feelings regarding your ex. Also I think you need to have more confidence in yourself. You are a good mother.

Your child is an individual and not a carbon copy of you or your ex.

Your probably fear your child will grow up to be mean to you like your ex. This is irrational and is your anxiety talking. Be assured it won't happen.

Please please see a doc who can refer you to a counsellor. There is no shame in this. It will help you I promise

Good luck.

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