AIBU to expect if someone offers your child a lift that they have an appropriate car seat?

(18 Posts)

I would be in bits if there was an accident and my child was injured if they were not suitably and legally restrained or if I was giving a lift to someone elses child and they were hurt. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, so therefore I would never offer to give a lift to another child unless I had their car seat or a spare one.

Hulababy Wed 02-Mar-16 18:50:21

When Dd was smaller I always asked the parent if they needed me to send one with DD, or if they had a spare available. I always had a spare booster cushion in my car when she was smaller too. However, it was only a booster cushion and not a high back - didn't have room in my boot for anything larger.

TooMuchOfEverything Wed 02-Mar-16 18:55:43

Depends on childs age - DS is 11 and I wouldn't think to ask, would assume his friends don't use car seat.

DD is 9 and I still check with her friends.

merseyside Wed 02-Mar-16 18:57:55

Depends on age of child.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp Wed 02-Mar-16 18:58:51

No, I think that if someone offers YOUR child a lift, it is YOUR responsibility to provide the appropriate car seat!

Bogburglar99 Wed 02-Mar-16 18:58:52

I always have a booster cushion in the boot which mostly suffices as DCs are now 7+. If I was giving a pre planned lift I would check with the parent. If it was an ad hoc Id only offer if I had a seat I was sure was OK.

lougle Wed 02-Mar-16 20:13:58

Your child, your responsibility to check that they have the required equipment. A simple 'do you need a booster?' covers it.

Choughed Wed 02-Mar-16 20:18:58

YABU. People can't carry round 5 different car seats. Just send your child with their car seat.

i did ask and was told that they had a car seat and when she came back told me they had strapped her into a baby seat (she's nearly 9) and that other children younger than her had no car seats at all!

Bogburglar99 Wed 02-Mar-16 21:13:24

Sure it wasn't a high back booster? Some people (us included) still have high back boosters rather than the backless booster cushions, and I might have put a small 9 year old into same if that was what was available. Might be interpreted as a baby seat by 9yo if she's used to a cushion? If an actual baby seat with harness then yes, not good.

Younger ones it would go by height not age - DS is an average size rising 10yo and is just over the 135cm height cut off. Tall 8 or 9yo might have got there already. But again, if you mean much younger kids, not OK.

She normally has a high back booster.

BackforGood Thu 03-Mar-16 00:09:24

Depends on the child. 9 is getting to heights where they might not need one. If they did, then I'd expect the parent I was helping out by giving their dc a lift, to offer to provide it.

Gillian1980 Thu 03-Mar-16 06:31:50

I would expect to give them my car seat to use. If they said they had one I'd want to know what kind etc.
When I've offered to use our car seat for another child the parents asked what size seat and we discussed straps (5 point harness or seat belt, as it was a high back where either could be used.

Yes, they needed to be sure it was the correct seat but you really should have checked more thoroughly.

Thelwell Thu 03-Mar-16 06:35:10

Legally in Oz, it's 100% the driver's responsibility.

Does anyone know if it's the same in UK?

Twowrongsdontmakearight Thu 03-Mar-16 06:41:04

I would only offer a lift if I had a suitable seat or ask for one to be provided.

If there was some kind of emergency and lift not pre planned then it was my DC who went without. Guests would have the seats. Same with all of my friendship group.

Quietwhenreading Thu 03-Mar-16 06:41:42

I always ask.

I find that some people are really very lax about this. We have some lovely friends who think nothing of loading up their backseat with 4 or 5 kids without even enough seat belts let alone car seats. They seem to think I'm slightly eccentric for insisting on both. I now politely decline lifts from them.

My kids have trunkii backpacks which have been so incredibly useful as it's much easier to send them off to an activity with the backpack than a small child clutching a booster seat. Also brilliant for holidays.

yes I'm going to have be more vigilant in future!

pastagirl Thu 03-Mar-16 15:26:56

I insist on checking or usually say when someone offers ' oh that is really sweet to offer but I am a bit particular about car seats so unless you have a suitable spare we will just make out own way , thanks anyway' often folk will say my kid will use their kids car seats and then theirs will go without!! I have alwAys refused in this case, imagine!
I can not imagine why you would risk not having proper car seating. it is required u till kids are 11years old. I just do know why u would risk it, sure chances of something happening are slim but imagine if they did. How awful.
I am not from the uk so I can blame my expectations on foreign way, which makes it socially easier in some ways

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