Letting my grandparents look after my son during work?

[Jessiefountin373]

I was just wondering what your advise is as to what I should do. I work 5 days a week, 9-4 and have a 15 month old son. My parents also work full time so can't help out with childcare. My grandparents (his great grandparents) are relatively young (nan is 64 and grandad is 67) my nan is very much active and psyically fit and able but my grandad has sereve issues with his legs (hypertension) always in pain, finds it hard to walk etc. He still refuses to be classed as "disabled" though so he hasn't got a parking permit, equiptment or anything that could help him out so it's still a struggle for him.

They looked after my son from 3 months (when I went back to work) at the time he was straight forward as it was just feed him change him let him sleep etc. Now he's an active 1 year old that loves to run around, open things, take things out etc. They have even put locks on all of their cupboard doors and catches to hold the doors back. I can tell it really wares them out looking after him and they don't get any time together which they should as they're retired!

They don't do much in the way of acitivities and it upsets me because I can't either due to work and all we have is the weekend. They sometimes take him in to town or for a meal out or a walk etc but nothing really active as they aren't up to it. I would love for him to go to groups, zoos, farm parks etc all the things I would take him too if I was a SAHM.

I have offered putting him in nursery so many times as I would get majority funded. They refuse and Insist they can cope. I even nearly brought my nan to tears one time when I asked her. They are both very attached and love him like he was their own son.

I didnt push the issue and I left it. My nan does say sometimes it would be nice to have alone time etc but she always assures that she loves him and loves their time together and wouldn't have it any other way.

Yesterday I went to see a childminder with him. She was lovely and he really liked her. She showed me the kids books and what acitivities they do along with diaries and toys etc and it was great. She said she only had two days spare at the moment and her rates are £58 a week for the two days (added together) I get a majority paid as I'm on a low income so I would only be paying around £9 a week of that myself.

I haven't signed the contract or anything yet but I'm letting her know tonight if I want it or not. I'm also speaking to my grandparents in a short while about it.

Has anyone any advise? Do you think I should do it even if they are against it? Would you do it?

[TeenAndTween]

I've never been in this position, but I think you should go for it, even if GPs are less keen.

Does the CM have other children? If so can you sell it to your GPs as socialisation for your DS.

[knittingbee]

Why not split the time? My parents (58 and 68) have DC2 1 day a week and she's at the CM 3 days a week (I don't work the other day). Before DC1 was at school, they had him 2 days a week and he was at the CM 3 days a week. So they still have time with the GPs and also structured activities and days out with the CM.

Maybe explain that it's a good way to get him ready for pre-school? CM have to follow the early years stuff that they do in school in pre-school and reception. Also hopefully it will leave them with a little more energy on the days they do have him, and perhaps they can take him to a local park once the weather improves?

[Caterina99]

I think that's the ideal solution. He gets 2 days at childminder and 3 at your grandparents. Sell it to them as it's costing you hardly anything and he gets to spend time with other kids (I assume) and do more activities, whereas on their days he still gets the family time and one-on-one care. Plus they get some rest and can then have more energy for their 3 days a week.

[Caterina99]

Also you're in the excellent position of having them for backup if for any reason he can't go to chilminder, such as illness.

[Topsy34]

I would absolutely get him in with the childminder.

Explain to your gp, that the only reasons he is going there is to socialise with other children, get a head start for school and to give them a break.

[tribpot]

I would definitely be using the CM two days a week. If for no other reason than to give you some backup in case your grandad's health becomes worse and your nan has to spend more time taking care of him. And frankly she is trying to do too much - it's fantastic that she is willing to help you to this extent but a lively toddler is going to wear her out and it would be awful if this then impacted on her health.

Ultimately it's not their decision so I think you need to be gently firm with them but definitely play up the angle that this is so that ds can enjoy time with other kids, get ready for preschool.

[OzzieFem]

Take it. It relieves your mind that you are not asking too much of your grandparents, gives them some free days, but still allows them a lot of access to their GGS.