Where to draw the line?

[ListenWithYourNose]

Just name changed as I've been posting a bit lately and don't want to out myself.

I have an almost 3 year old DD who is cute, funny, bright, loving, a bit of a drama llama, and prone to a spectacular screaming fit on occasion. She's the only person I've ever known to actually hop with rage.

Just lately she's taken to saying no to things she actually does want, and then when you say 'oh, ok then' she bursts into tears and says yes she does want it.
It's got to the point that she's doing it all the time and we feel it's becoming quite a controlling behaviour.
We're wondering about just taking her at her first answer in the hope she'll cop on and stop doing it. Hopping tantrums will ensue but we're keen not to let her start ruling us!

It's come at the same time as other similarly testing behaviour. For example she's started waking around midnight with all kinds of spurious claims 'I need a poo' (which she then doesn't) or a drink, or a specific teddy, etc etc etc. She's in bed crying as I type because after she'd had a drink and a cuddle, I drew the line at searching around for the teddy she wanted at midnight.

Does it sound worth digging our heels in? Or just one of those things that will pass?

All advise welcome! I'm finding it hard to strike a balance between picking too many battles and letting her get away with too much!

[MrsJayy]

God sounds like my 23yr old at 3 she was up and down drinks cuddles pee more cuddles for a while i ended up sleeping with her we did get firm with her and the stomping i want/dont want calmed down but you do need to be firm and set the boundries its bloody hard though

[FastWindow]

Im the worst, i give no quarter at all but i will try to find the teddy no matter what. They push you so far, you've got to work out how far you'll go. I find knowing where the damn teddy is at all times helps ...

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

Exactly the same behaviour from our just gone 3 yr old. I think it's them trying to control things. An understandable developmental stage. Do you offer 2 options? I find that helps a lot to focus their mind and diffuse the situation.

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

And yes, I do agree with taking their first decision to a point. I would smile and say ok, then start to walk away. Then when they say no, I want it! I'd say well, that's a bit silly to say no first then. And it's silly to cru about. But let's get it if there's no more nonsense, said bright and breezy. If the crying and hysteria continues I quite sharply change to discipline voice and say 'if this continues we won't be getting x' and if no response and the behaviour continues I say 'rightif ypu can't behave nicely then we're not getting x' and at that point follow through.

[ListenWithYourNose]

Thanks all. That sounds similar to what we're trying to do. Giving her a chance to get it right, and then being firm after that.
We'll persevere and hope it stops eventually!

[ohlittlepea]

If you'd like some techniques to try I can't recommend "how to talk so kids will listen" highly enough :)