I've gone round in circles with this over the last couple of years, reading other posts on the same subject, and googling advice, but I still haven't found the answer... this is a desperation post really as I've totally run out ideas...
DS is 3 1/2 and a lovely little boy. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and is happy and settled, the staff there say he is no trouble at all, a pleasure to have around. At home, with me, he can be a bit of a terror sometimes, like all pre-schoolers testing boundaries, but overall he's great, and he shows me loads of love, and I'm really enjoying this time together before he goes off to school in September.
The problem is that he is so so mean to my DH. He pushes him away, cries, kicks, shouts. Often won't let him sit next to him. Not all the time - they have fun as well, and as I'm a freelancer and have to juggle my work, they often spend weekends together going on daytrips, etc. where they have a great time. I can see that DS has enjoyed himself when they get back.
The rejection stuff has been going on for the last 2 1/2 years. And we've tried to put it down to development, and DS practicing different emotions and relationships out on us, his parents. It just doesn't change though, and it's heartbreaking to see DH being pushed away all the time. I can see him trying to put a brave face on, but he's hurt.
An example:
I take DS up to bed each night and read him stories, and then DH takes over for one last story before sleep. When I leave, DS gives endless cuddles and kisses to me, but when DH leaves and tries to cuddle/kiss goodnight, DS tells him 'no'. Last night DH came downstairs looking really despondent and said DS had said 'No. You can't touch me' when he'd asked for a goodnight cuddle. Yet DS actively requests that daddy come up for 'one last story' - so it's not that he doesn't want him there.
I can 100% say that DH doesn't deserve this. He adores our son, and just wants to contribute to the parenting as much as he can. If DS were acting like this with me, I'd be devastated. And we see other friends children who adore their dads. I just feel really sorry for my DH.
I'm guessing that we just have to continue to wait this one out, and that it will pass with time. I just thought I'd try one last cry for help on this.
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Parenting
DS being mean to his dad
4 replies
BumpleLeeds · 28/01/2016 09:15
OP posts:
riya12 ·
29/01/2016 13:32
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