7 year old with bad attitude problem, getting to the end of my tether

[MissJM1]

My 7 year old son has such an attitude that I'm struggling to deal with it.

He will not do what he is told, constantly winds his younger brother up, gets angry if you ask him to do anything.

Today I have been sorting out his bedroom, I asked him to help me sort his stuff out, and I get "no" I tell him that he needs to start doing as he is told and he stood there and pretended to yawn whilst I was talking to him, doing that mock hand up to the mouth move, I just lost it with him, it was so bloody disrespectful!

I have banned him from having the tablet which he uses to watch minecraft stuff, his response to everything is "don't care" with a smirk on his face

What the hell can I do to change his attitude?? Please give me some tips, I don't think it's a discipline issue as we do discipline him, I don't think he's being bullied at school as he is quite popular in his class. I'm starting to wonder if it's us and we have spoiled him or something

[kristine007]

Pushing boundaries I guess.
My son will be 7 in few months - if he does piss me off - he stands in a corner. He hates it more that me taking his stuff from him or banning TV.

[steppemum]

really pushing boundaries, but also experimenting with a 'grown up' way of responding, and getting it badly wrong.

Think up a set of sanctions that he doesn't like.
Explain that from now on, rude behaviour to you will get one of those sanctions. Spell it out - eye rolling, yawning, sarcastic voice, 'whatever' or any smart alec responses and that is rude.

Then have a zero tolerance for a week or so.
Don't get cross, when you ask him to do something, say - that is rude, I am not accepting rude behaviour in this house, the sanction is x.

Once they have got it and begin to improve, you can soften it is bit - and allow them to repeat what they said in a none rude way.

I have done this with ds when I got to the end of my tether with the narky back chat.
I have just started to have to do it to dd2, as she has begun to do it (she's 8)

The zero tolerance clamp down worked.

[MissJM1]

Yea definitely pushing boundaries. But no matter what you say to him, how much you shout he will just stand there with a blank expression, shrugging his shoulders and saying "don't care"

Then on the odd occasion he will cry and get upset when I shout, but he doesn't seem to grasp that, if he done what he was told in the first place, and I didn't have to ask him REPETEDLY I wouldn't have to shout!

[steppemum]

the shoulder shrug and 'don't care' is a cover up for 'I'm not going to show you I care'

I think that in most cases, I set the boundary and walk away.

So, bedroom needs tidying, leave the pile of stuff he has to put away and then cheerfully say, Right then, you do that lot before you watch TV and we'll be sorted. Then you have to enforce it, so no TV (or phone or whatever) until the pile is sorted.

You could even say, before dinner, and then when he comes to the table ask if his pile is sorted?

I hasten to add that I don't always do this, or remember to be the calm person, and I get to the end of my tether a lot!