Feet to Foot

[InternetDad]

Hello Folks,

Now my darling wife has reached 30 weeks, I've moved from fretting about the pregnancy to fretting about SIDS. We're keen to establish a routine and sleeping pattern early so are considering baby being in his room from day-1, but reducing the risk of SIDS is my top priority at the moment (though I appreciate it's not foolproof).

I've been reading that growbags are good for SIDS because there is no loose bedding to obstruct the baby's face, but that seems to present an issue with the feet to foot advice, as there is a lot of excess growbag between their feet and the end of the cot/basket!

Any tips Mums?

[gamerchick]

Having them sleeping in the same room is right at the top. i don't think sleeping bags are recommended for tiny babies anyway.

[Artandco]

You only need to do the feet to foot with blankets to stop them sliding down. Sleeping bags they can't slide down as poppered in so its fine.
I would suggest a large muslin to swaddle baby first few months as sleeping bags are usually too big from birth ( most have a min baby weight)

[InternetDad]

I've been looking at Gro-Snugs from the Gro Company

[Artandco]

They will work, however they only last as swaddles for a short time. I recommend looking at bamboo large Muslins from aden and anais. They are Lovely and soft and you can use as swaddles first few months, as blankets indoors, on floor as changing mat if out, as small picnic rug/ blankets for baby in summer on grass, as sun shade etc. A pack of 4 is around £45, but last years as so many uses. Compared to say 3 months for the grow snug

Another recommendation for sleeping bags would be get the bambino merino ones. They last 0-2 years and all year as the merino adapts in heat so no need buy every 6 months in different sizes and togs like many others

[CurlsLDN]

As pp said, the whole point of foot to foot is to stop loose blankets over face, so if you use a gro snug or sleeping bag you don't need to worry.

However having them sleep in the same room as you for the first six months is really important in reducing sids, as they regulate their breathing to yours, and you can hear their every little breath.
Ds settled into a lovely routine pretty quickly with his moses basket next to me. When he reached a few months old I started putting him in his cot for daytime naps so he got used to it while I sat in his room and napped or read. Then when he got to six months it was no bother for him to go to bed in his cot at night

[Iwantakitchen]

The advice is that the baby is in parents' room for first 6 months. I would strongly recommend that you follow that advice. It's very clearly explained on SIDS website. A routine should play second fiddle to safety.

[zippyswife]

I used to work in child protection until recently. We sadly dealt with SIDS and I attended many seminars regarding this. We were always advised against swaddling as this can be a factor (due to potential overheating) and anything like a bumper in the cot. I don't know if current advice is different.

My line of work made paranoid and nearituc when I had dcs (to say the least) and consequently I've changed jobs. However personally I have baby in my room while they are in the Moses basket (4 months ish) and then I start using a cot with a sleeping bag and always put them feet to foot. I also have an angel care sensor pad (as I say I'm super paranoid!!). I'm due dc3 in the next couple of weeks and will probably do the same.

[InternetDad]

That's for that rather gruff response Iwantakitchen! :-)

Space is the major factor in the parental bedroom, so we're having to move furniture to accommodate little one in our room. It's something we're considering, it's just whether it's going to be possible.

Thanks all for your advice

[outputgap]

Well, why don't you follow the sids prevention advice? I'm confused. Why put baby in its own room against the evidence-based advice of professionals?

I found grobags were too roomy around the neck for my newborns, so you may want blankets at first. (John Lewis provide a handy guide to how many blankets depending on temp on the back of their packets of sheets etc - another important bit of the sids guidance is about temperature.)

[outputgap]

Can you fit in a crib? Should get you to 6 months if baby isn't gigantic. And it's much easier to tuck in those sheets and blankets. (I sound like an advert for them, but the JL cribs are currently only £51.)

[InternetDad]

We're not ignoring the advice, the issues is whether there is space in our small room to fit us and the baby. If there is we will. We're not blessed with the biggest house in the world, even if it is two bedrooms.

[Finola1step]

A small Moses basket on a stand next to your bed or at the end of the bed takes up very little space. Keep all the other baby stuff in the second bedroom. That really is the very best thing you can do to prevent SIDS.

Congratulations

[gamerchick]

what about a cosleeper cot? They attach to the side of the bed and aren't huge things.

[Iwantakitchen]

In your original post, you mentioned that you would like to establish a routine from day 1, which is why you would like to put your baby in a seperate room. You don't mention the space issue.

Where did you read or why do you believe your baby will Have a better sleeping routine if in a seperate room? There is a lot of bad information out there, some information can be put of date, even if it's from a well known writer or website.

have you been on ante natal class yet - they should be able to provide you with all the latest sleep safety advice. In my days - ten years ago with ,y two DSs the advice was a thin sheet, a cotton cellular blanket and feet to foot. Or swaddle.

[InternetDad]

Our first antenatal class is mid-February I think. Just keen to learn as much as a I can beforehand to be as supportive and useful to my wife as possible

[LillyBugg]

Completely agree with pp's that the best way to reduce risk of sids is to have baby in with you.

Also gro bags don't need to be feet to foot and only use them if they fit properly. Most say on the label what the minimum weight is.

The idea of putting baby in its own room for routine is a bit naive I'm afraid. Maybe that's not the right word. But you're in for a shock OP if you think you'll be able to put baby down anywhere but on a warm body in day 1. Best place is in your room for comfort, regular feeding, SIDS risk aversion and you're own sanity.

[SparklyTinselTits]

My little one was born early and was tiny (5lb 15oz). We asked about the grobag thing, and the MW who came to visit the day after the birth suggested that if the head hole of the grobag is too wide for your newborn (which most are), to see some extra stitches in, to make the head hole smaller, then pick the stitches out as your baby grows worked a treat for us!

[DearTeddyRobinson]

Moses basket or co sleeper in your room the best options for both SIDS risk and your own sanity. You will be up numerous times during the night to feed and change - I.e. every 2-3 hours! Make life easier for yourselves by at least not having to go into another room to do this.
Routines are definitely important but you may well find that the baby changes so much in the first few months that what worked one day, will not work the next. We only managed a routine from 6 months.
Also as previous posters have mentioned, many newborns refuse to sleep anywhere but on you. The cot may be totally redundant for months!

[ODog]

Aside from the SIDS advice re having baby in your room to sleep, please don't put too much pressure on yourself around rules and routines. We were very sure we would not allow baby to sleep in our bed, would not babywear and would only breastfeed for a short time and certainly would not BLW. The reality was that I had a baby that would only sleep in our bed, bottle and spoon refused and needed to be held all of the time. I embraced it and love the choices we made (ie co-sleeping/BF/baby wearing/BLW). I'm expecting dc2 in May and will be making these choices again for my baby, although perhaps this time not out of necessity, but because I am converted to the benefits of a more gentle, baby-led style of parenting. I'm not saying you should do this as it doesn't work for everyone and each to their own, I just wanted to give an example of how best laid plans go out the window sometimes with a baby.

[OddBoots]

We didn't have room in our bedroom to have a baby in with us either (our room just about fits the small double bed and a wardrobe, not even bedside tables). Instead I left dh in our room and I moved into the baby's room in a single bed for the first few months.

[Gillian1980]

Hi OP.

As others have said, feet to foot is only applicable if you are using blankets. We used blankets for about a week but DD didn't get on well with them as she'd kick them off constantly and then cry because she was cold. She didn't like being swaddled either and would get ever so cross. So we found some really small sleeping bags (from Morrisons) and they were great.

We were lucky enough to have a really large bedroom so put the cot in with us. Initially she slept in a Moses basket which was in the cot, then she moved into the cot at about 9 weeks.

We fully intended to have her in with us until she was 6 months, but I snore horrifically and my dh sleeptalks. We were constantly waking her and then she wouldn't resettle, so she went into her own room at 3 months.

I will say however that it is highly, highly unlikely that you will get your baby into much of a routine for the first 10-12 weeks at least. They have no concept of time, or day from night etc and will want everything on demand. Many babies won't settle to sleep unless being held during "the fourth trimester". Perhaps have a read of some of the other posts on this forum to get a broad view.

Good luck with it all!

[zippyswife]

Op. Re routine. I actually had d1 in the (much slated on MN) Gina ford routine from the day he came home. It worked wonderfully for us both and he was (other than sleep regression at 4 months) a very content baby toddler and now boy. I was able to do/adjust the routine to meet the safety guidelines. Ds slept in the Moses basket in our room then for till 6 months. Ds2 wasn't as interested in a routine initially so just went with it for first couple of weeks till he settled into the Gina routine and it worked well. I'm expecting dc3 any week- I will loosely do the Gina routine again as it worked well but obviously I have the other 2 and school runs to Consider too.
Basically i never coslept. Guidance at the time was that it increases the risk oh SIDS. I don't know if that has changed since then but through my work I have dealt with too many cases which occurred while cosleeping/swaddled so I always steer clear of both.
I think my style of parenting a baby is probably not approved on here but it's worked well for me ans as I say I will loosely do it again this time round. You can do a routine and be very safe (I was completely neurotic re sids and safety especially first time round).
Good luck.

[Topsy34]

You should have the baby in your room for 6 months....regardless of space, we have a small bedroom but we fit it in. There is some research that the mothers breathing helps regulate the babys breathing.

Are you for real with a routine from day 1???? Seriously a baby needs to be cuddled and kissed and if breast fed is best fed on demand.

You imagine being all snug, hearing a heartbeat and voice all day, then all of a sudden no longer snug and hearing that voice, but in a strange room alone. Just cuddle the baby and sod the routine

[Luckystar1]

DS was a big baby so he was able to go into a sleeping bag immediately. It worked well, although I still did feet to foot, as I'm paranoid! You can just fold back the excess material.

I cannot however encourage putting the baby into its own room so early. Just keep the baby in your room, it's really not that hard, a crib is tiny - if there's enough space to walk around the bed, there's enough space.

Also, tiny babies will wake quite a lot initially, it's much easier if they're beside you.

Just to add, my parents told me they put me into my own room when I was tiny. I was quite disgusted that they valued their sleep over my well being (so just a thought).

[zippyswife]

You can still cuddle kiss snuggle etc with a routine. I breast fed for 6 months (although ds struggled with it) and kept to the routine. It was achievable and kept me sane.

As I sat ds2 didn't want the routine initially liked cluster feeding etc so I went with that until I could get him in the routine.

Routine does not mean having them in a different room or not cuddling etc. You can and I did both. As I said this time round I'll be a lot less rigid but I've got to say routine worked well for us all.