"Mummy, why have you got a big tummy?"

(11 Posts)
joosiewoosie Mon 28-Dec-15 23:31:46

My 3.5 year old asked me this today. I said that all people are different shapes and sizes and it's just the way they are, but we shouldn't really ask because it might hurt their feelings. (I was a bit aghast and slightly upset as she's asked less directly before and I've batted it away by distraction!)

In hindsight, I think it was a bit of a defensive answer. The real answer is a combination of the following: I had her little sister by c section last New Year's Eve; 5 weeks later I had a hysterectomy via a vertical incision to remove a fibroid which had taken over my uterus because it weighed 3.2kg/7lb, almost as much as her little sister did; I like chocolate and other nice but naughty food; I like exercise if I don't realise I'm getting out of puff because I'm into it, rather than exercise for its own sake, and I've not had much chance to get into any this year! I also have mild PND (again) and will be going to my 1st CBT session in the new year.

I don't like my body now I have a front bum because of the vertical scar. It puts me off doing anything as I don't feel it will go whatever I do. I never diet, I just increase my exercise, and I don't eat awfully too much of the time. I'm a 20/22. Having said that, I'm still confident enough to be naked sometimes at home, and I want my little people to know it's what people are like on the inside that is the most important thing of all.

So the question is really, what do I say if she asks me again which is perhaps a little less defensive and more positively educative?

TheSpottedZebra Mon 28-Dec-15 23:34:08

It's from where I grew 2 (?) babies ?

Sorry for all your troubles. Hope you're feeling well on the mend soon.

IguanaTail Mon 28-Dec-15 23:35:46

"It's not nice to make personal comments darling. My tummy is big because it's still healing from you and X growing inside it."

Mrsmulder Mon 28-Dec-15 23:40:39

My 3.8 year old ds asked me the same thing yesterday. I know I need to lose weight, I don't need my 3 year old to spell it out for me! Would have cried only I just finished a night shift and was too tired. I told him it was because him and his sister grew in there and it stretched it. Starting a diet on the 2nd jan now though!

Sorry op, it's not nice is it, they don't see it as an insult though.

Bunbaker Mon 28-Dec-15 23:42:01

Small children don't do it to be nasty. They say it how it is.

joosiewoosie Mon 28-Dec-15 23:48:33

I know she was not meaning to hurt - kids are very literal and that's why I love them. I just want to give her a good, balanced answer so she can understand.

RomComPhooey Mon 28-Dec-15 23:50:49

Ds1 patted my belly and asked me if I was growing a new baby brother for him and DS2 when he was about 6 (!). I said no, just a cake baby. smile

Haahooooo Mon 28-Dec-15 23:57:15

I think your answer was perfect.

My three year old likes to give me an affectionate pat on the upper arms and say "wibble wobble". Thanks darling...

Hope you feel better soon thanks

scarednoob Tue 29-Dec-15 07:49:50

My niece spent an hour chanting "fat tum, big nose" at OH yesterday. The first is rather true; the second is not.

No words of advice, I agree with PP, just wanted to sympathise.

IguanaTail Tue 29-Dec-15 12:05:35

What a rude niece!!!

FATEdestiny Tue 29-Dec-15 14:34:14

My children have occasionally comment on the size of my tummy and bottom, they are large blush

I just say "because I eat too much chocolate". That is absolutely the truthful answer to the question and I have no personal issues with that being the reason I'm fat - I love chocolate.

Saying that also indirectly teaches them that chocolate (unhealthy food) makes you fat, without actually being so blunt and direct. An important life lesson.

I often walk around the house naked when getting ready and have no body issues - so they see me au natural consistently. I do point out that commenting on a persons size can be unkind and not nice though.

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