Too worried to leave baby with child minder

[ParsleyCake]

Does anyone else worry about leaving their child with a minder who is a paedophile? I'm absolutely terrified of leaving my child in the care of someone like that, but at the same time I was hoping to return to work when he turns 1. There's not really any way of knowing for sure that the child minder is okay, and you hear horrible stories all the time.

[ijustwannadance]

If that bothered use a day nursery instead

[Alanna1]

Yes, it is one of the reasons I use a nursery, but I also have a nanny. But abuse is far more likely to happen within the home. I am wary of anyone who is "over friendly" and my DDs (both preschoolers) don't do sleepovers yet.

[hopelesslydevotedtoGu]

We chose a childminder who has her own children who are thriving, is involved in the local community, is good friends with other parents we know, and I can see that the other children in her care are comfortable and happy.

Of course the chance isn't 0%, but it is very close to that, and I feel comfortable leaving our child in her care.

How old is your baby? When mine was tiny I was so worried about leaving them.

[SirNiallDementia]

You need to find someone/ a setting in which you feel comfortable leaving your child.

And remember that the risk of any caregiver you employ turning out to be a paedophile is absolutely minute. I'd be more worried about a childminder neglecting the child, not giving them enough to eat or drink or not watching them carefully enough.....which is why I use a nursery where there are lots of adults watching the kids and each other!

[NickNacks]

I've read far more stories in the press about paedophiles in nurseries than I have working as registered childminders tbh.

[starlight2007]

I am a child minder.. I can understand your fear of trusting ...Most childminders will meet will understand your anxiety..

I suggest you go and meet a couple.. You have to really trust your gut instinct... If something doesn't feel right then look elsewhere..

[ParsleyCake]

Thank you. Tbh although I agree about nurseries having more adults watching, but you do hear more bad things about nurseries.

[ParsleyCake]

Also my baby is four months, so I still have a while to go.

[Buglife]

The chances of that happening are so minuscule. And 'you hear more bad things about nurseries' is just hearing things, visit a few before you decide. I'm over the moon with outs, they go to the park, bake once a week, Ofsted Outstanding. It's scary imagining letting anyone watch your child when they are 4 months old, but children are happy and thrive in childcare. Honestly checks are so rigorous and certainly in nursery most children would never be alone with an adult. And again, chances of abuse in any way are so low, please don't live your life imagining that people out to abuse your child are lurking everywhere, it's too much worry. Take normal sensible steps to check they are safe and relax.

[longdiling]

Op, your concern is perfectly understandable but please, please don't listen to those people who say that a nursery is some kind of magic solution. There is absolutely NOTHING about us childminders that makes us more likely to be paedophiles. It's a false sense of security using a nursery because there are 'more adults watching' I'm afraid. Be aware that in a nursery you have absolutely zero control over who is taking care of your child, you have to trust that the management are doing their jobs properly. With a childminder you get to do the job yourself and check their qualifications. There were times when I'd pick my eldest up from nursery and I didn't even know the name of the person who was looking after her - staff being off sick or leaving early or students doing placement means that you can't just assume they are always with their keyworker. You will build up a close relationship with your childminder and can start doing this with settling in sessions before you go back to work - they should be far from a stranger by that point and hopefully your fears would be allayed.

Go and look at both types of setting and see what your instincts tell you. Make sure you have a list of relevant questions; be thorough and check paperwork/certificates for wherever you are going.

Hopelesslydevoted gave you some fantastic advice. I'm highly visible in my local community, I have kids of my own and I'm out and about in parks and playgroups locally. Most people know me and know how I am with the children in my care - I don't even need to advertise any more because I get so many word of mouth recommendations.

Have faith in yourself; you have your child's best interests at heart and you are sure to find the right place for her.

[Buglife]

Yes longdiling my point stands with childminders too :) through my work I know loads of childminders and I know they have had lots of checks and are Ofsted inspected. You aren't going to find a childminder with little or no contact with local people, groups and schools, and the majority have children of there own. Certainly there is no need to be genuinely scared of any danger in any kind of childcare setting as they are checked. You'll know what feels right when you come to choose.

[slightlyconfused85]

Nothing in life is completely risk free. I chose a childminder for DD when she was 9 months and she stayed for 2 years. I chose a woman who had her own children, had lots of references and my gut feeling on her was very good. I've had less positive gut feelings in nurseries that I've visited. The chances are minimal but you could drive yourself mad with these thoughts.