Really bad tempered baby.

[Scattymum101]

I have an 8 month old daughter. She's my second baby, dd1 is 3.

She's so grumpy ALL the time. She has been like this since she was born. I keep thinking it'll get better but it never does.

When she was tiny she had bad colic and silent reflux so she would scream all day every day , especially when feeding and feeding took 2 hours every bottle.

I kept thinking when she got past that it would get better and then when she got mobile it would be better but it's not.

She can crawl a bit but she just gets frustrated and angry and screams. She screams if I put her down and puts her arms up shouting mum but if I lift her she screams and throws herself out of my arms. If I try and sit with her she kicks and screams and rages but if I then put her down she breaks her heart.

She hates he jumperoo, hates her car seat, hates being in the pram. The only time she seems a bit more calm is when I wear her in the baby carrier but only if I'm constantly moving.

I'm exhausted, worn down and neglecting my dd1 because I'm constantly trying to stop dd2 from crying.
I've ended up just leaving her to cry because it doesn't matter if I lift her or not. At least when she's on the floor she's not knocking lumps out of me.

She can be really sweet and affectionate at times but if I don't change her activity every3 mins she just goes nuts. I love her but I'm starting to really regret having a second child as I just don't know what she wants or how to please her and it's coming between dd1 and I. Dd1 dotes on her but she's starting to really resent her now. She's started asking if we can get a new baby that doesn't screech all the time.

I have no idea what to do anymore.

[KatieLatie]

Have you tried a Cranial osteopath?

[Scattymum101]

No. We did think about it when she was very young but now it seems more about frustration. She seems to want to get to the next stage all the time. I thought it would improve once she started crawling but now she seems desperate to pull herself up on the furniture or my leg and she's getting mad that she can't. She seems to be desperate to walk. She just doesn't seem to like being a baby.
Thanks for your reply. I've not ruled it out. She had such a lovely calm birth though with no trauma. Dd1 was back to back and got stuck so I would have expected her to suffer more in that way than dd2 but I suppose it's never that simple. X

[MangosteenSoda]

My almost 7 month old is similar. I did take him to a cranial osteopath when he was small because of colic. I don't think it would help at this stage (it helped minimally before).

I was desperately hoping he would grow out of it at 6 months, but I think he may have got worse! I have the Wonder Weeks app on my phone - was counting down the days for the thunder cloud to change to a sunshine. He teased me by being pleasant for two days, then reverted to type. It does feel like such a grind and I hear the constant nnnnn grizzle sound echoing in my brain when I'm not even around him.

He's also a Jumperoo refuser. I had a kind of epiphany that there's nothing I can do to please him when he just sat in the frog seat, glaring at me and whining before beating the elephant around the head then letting rip with eardrum shattering bellow of disgust. He has never jumped in it. It's quite liberating as I don't try so hard to please him any more. I just do nice things with him so he is still exposed to them and hopefully gets something out of them. He does laugh and smile too, it is just always quickly followed with a wail and a moan!

For us it's caused / compounded by lack of sleep and tiredness. He just cannot nap. I have tried and tried and tried everything. I keep reading that I need to enforce a nap, but have yet to discover how to enforce sleep! Nightime sleep is merely passable on a good night. He screams a lot. He sticks to me like glue. Nothing makes any difference and, like you, I sometimes just let him cry next to me because he would be crying anyway, no matter how I attempt to soothe him.

Sorry this isn't helpful, but at least you know you are not the only one! I found going back to work part time has helped my sanity. And having read that grumpy babies often become lovely toddlers (please no one disabuse me here!) I just hope he will grow out of it. He's my first and only. I couldn't risk having two like this!!

[UngratefulMoo]

I have no idea whether this will help or not, but apparently one of my cousins, 'screamed for the first year of her life', according to my aunt, and then went on to be a smart, funny, studious child with a great relationship with her parents. It's tough being a baby! It sounds exhausting though

[FeelsLikeHome123]

could she have reflux or wind from solids (mine still has at 6 months), I use 'gripewater' (I get it in the pharmacy). Could she be teething, have you tried pain relief? My dc get very cranky if they are hungry/overtired.

[Calliou]

Have you ruled out allergies? Can be a cause of grumpy, clingy babies.

[slightlyconfused85]

My dd1 was like this it was exhausting but at least I didn't have another child. Thankfully ds is a bit more relaxed. I just rode it out, she got better when she could walk at 1 and better again when she learnt a few words. She's a delight now at 3. My only advice is a dummy- will she take one just to sooth her a bit in the day? I did it for dd got rid of it easily by 18mo

[Chchchchangeabout]

Mine was like this and it turned out baby had cmpa plus tongue and lip tie giving him terrible wind. Once that was sorted all was fine and naps started working, with a bit of getting used to them. Before that he wasn't really happy anywhere except sling. Screamed in pram and bouncy chair. It was physical pain and discomfort, once that was gone it stopped.

[Scattymum101]

Thanks for all the replies.

She ended up having an epic meltdown last night as I think she was still tired after her nap. I ended up just holding her close even though she was throwing herself away and after about 10 long minutes she stopped crying and got a lovely long cuddle and calmed right down. She was then great for the rest of the night and managed to pull herself up on the couch which she was very pleased about.
My gut feeling is that she's frustrated. She's also getting her bottom teeth in so refusing bottles which is then making her hungry. She's refusing a dummy now too.

I think she's just desperate to do all the things her big sister is doing tbh. She sees her playing and running around and she doesn't understand why she can't. She's constantly on the go. I also do think her teeth hurt whereas dd1's never bothered her at all.

It's good to know I'm not alone so thank you xx

[Iliketeaagain]

My dd was the same - she was known affectionately in the family as "the screamer".. She talked early (in sentences by about 14 months) and that helped a lot, I think she was just frustrated and when she could talk, the screaming reduced a lot (not that her requests were always rational, just she could at least tell me what she was grumping about.
The best tip my health visitor gave me was that it was ok to just let her grump, put her somewhere safe (playpen or cot) if it was getting to much and go to another room for a few mins with a cuppa, it at least gave me breathing room and a few mins to calm myself down to deal with the grump.

[Getyercoat]

I had one like that, chronically bad napper, seemed hugely frustrated just being a baby! Grumbled and cried a lot for no apparent reason. He had no allergies, intolerances, I had an osteopath check him over and he was absolutely fine.

Like tea above there, he started talking in sentences at around 15 months. He was trying to walk and talk at the same time and jeez it was bloomin' hard work!
Once he got chatting and walking he was much happier. He's now 4 and a very determined, strong willed (argumentative) child but he's very bright, nothing fools him.
I foresee he will be a challenge in terms of keeping him stimulated at school and needs firm parenting but I also have a feeling he'll be a great leader some day!
It will pass.

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

Is she getting enough sleep?

[Scattymum101]

She is quite a good sleeper to be fair.
She usually has around 45mins in morning and 1-2 hours in afternoon.
She usually goes to bed at around 8pm and wakes for a night feed between 2 and 4 (it differe each night but she's usually only up for half an hour) and sleeps til 8ish.

She sleeps far better than my elder daughter ever did.

Took them to soft play today and took dd2 into the baby bit for the first time and she was so happy. She loved exploring and climbing. I'm wondering if she's bored.

[Smerlin]

I had a screamer- she is now 2 and has gradually developed a sunnier and sunnier disposition as she has moved towards toddler dom, learnt to talk and walk. She was an absolute nightmare before weaning and hated everything - pram, sling, naps, milk etc. Still difficult 6 months - 1 year and then since 1 year (fully mobile...) has been a delight.

So the tale about grumpy babies becoming happy toddlers is so far holding true for us!

[Vanoose]

I have a 6 month old very similar and I can totally empathise. It's absolutely draining and you just end up feeling like you're failing at being a mum. We had a long bout of colic and when it finally (very gradually) dispersed we were left with a baby with a massive personality, frustrated and demanding, clingy and 100% all of the time! I'm like you holding onto the promised "nice" toddler phase, soon may it arrive.

Something that really helped me was the Dr Sears Fussy Baby Book. You can actually get most of the info off his website - just google Dr Sears Fussy Baby. Him and his wife had a child with the same personality and really struggled too. He gives all his tips on how they coped. It asserts that it's a character trait of certain children, and gives you lots of lovely things to look forward to from their personalities in the future. It's reassured me there's nothing I need to worry that I have or haven't done, and somehow accepting that he's just going to be this way for a while makes it a tad easier.

Not today - today is all about the wailing - but most days ;-)

Hope that helps in some way and good luck x

[Smerlin]

Agree with the Fussy Baby book- I found that one a revelation. There's another book called Happiest Baby on the Block as well which is good. I generally have found with a challenging baby that as much attachment parenting as possible has helped (contrary to what I thought I would try before she was born!) so as to build the baby's sense of security when you have a frustrated or unhappy little one. Ahaparenting is a useful website for this.

[BertieBotts]

Some babies just seem to really hate being babies! They do seem to get better when they can be a bit more independent. I hate baby walkers but maybe it's worth it in this case??

[BertieBotts]

And baby signing? Maybe that would help with communication?

[Scattymum101]

Thanks for all your replies. She's been a bit better since she started properly crawling but she's determined she wants to walk. She keeps trying to stand up in the middle of the room and getting angry and she's pulling herself up on furniture but she's not strong enough physically as she's so tiny so she falls a lot.
Dd1 didn't start any of this til much later. She was an early crawler and crawled around the same age but she never pulled herself up til 10 months.

I've got an activity centre for her that she uses as a walker lol. She figured out how to run across the laminate in it and now terrorises her sister by cornering her and cackling with laughter.

Funnily enough I had just started looking into baby signing and have started doing food and milk signs for her today when eating or drinking. She just wants 'up' all the time and follows me about the place trying to climb up my leg but as soon as she's up she wants back down lol.

I've probably done much more attachment parenting with her just because I've been more confident in it this time. I baby wear a lot and she still sleeps in our room.

She's been good fun this week as her devilish little personality is really coming out so it's making the hard bits easier but she's an absolute menace. She had all my washing off the radiator while poor dd1 was frantically trying to put it back on and pleading with her to stop eating her pajamas.
Then she was up to no good trying to eat scraps of what dd1 had just spiller on the floor so I turned around to grab the Hoover and she had managed to race across the room and pick up my juice and pour it all over the floor and was happily splashing in it.

Dd1 was never like that so I'm stupidly naive lol.