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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I've bought a dummy

28 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 04/09/2015 13:43

Well two actually. I had planned not to use dummies. I have no idea what i have against them other than I dont like to see older children with them, if i think abkut it.

DS is 6wks and seems to have reflux at night - between midnight and morning, often resulting in lots of loud grunting, not settling etc. Dsis was advised to give her DC a dummy in these circs as sucking helps the reflux.

Do i need to sterlise it? DS is ebf. And how do othrs use them? I'm thinking just at night and possibly for naps - he doesnt sleep well at all some days.

Thanks.

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swashbucklecheer · 04/09/2015 13:46

I would sterilise them. 5 min in boiling water. You will find that dc will let you know when to use it.

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swashbucklecheer · 04/09/2015 13:48

Thou tbh the dummy didn't help me my ds stop grunting in the middle of the night with his reflux. (Sorry )

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Itsbloodyraining · 04/09/2015 13:48

I think dummies are happy days for all concerned, but try to wean them off it by 2 IMO. IME some children become more attached to them then others. Give it to baby whenever they are tired/grizzly. As you probably haven't got a steriliser, you could just pour boiling water over them.

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SpendSpendSpend · 04/09/2015 13:49

Dd who is now very nearly 3 has had a dummy from around a week old. She was bottled fed from birth so i did sterilse the dummy with the bottles. But if your baby is breastfed i dont think i would bother sterilsing it, just give it a good wash and very through rinse.

Dd weaned herself off the dummy. She used to ask for it alot but never has it during the day now and if its offered she wont take it. She has it at night but doesnt put it in her mouth straightaway she puts it next to her teddy were she can see it. However if she does put it in her mouth to sleep it drops out not long after going to sleep.

She has no teeth deformity etc so we havent had any trouble with them.

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polkadotdelight · 04/09/2015 13:51

In the grand scheme of things there are far worse things in life than a dummy. DS didnt take it at first (I wasnt going to either but desperation and all that!) but did at about 10 weeks. He only has it for sleeping, its going to be a pain to get rid of but it is a big sleep prompt for him - he was a silent refluxer too.

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sleepyhead · 04/09/2015 13:51

You could buy some Milton tablets if you want to make sure, but tbh washing thoroughly in hot, soapy water and air drying is good enough for EBM bottles (according to my midwives) so it's good enough for a dummy imo.

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sleepyhead · 04/09/2015 13:52

Ds2 had a dummy from about 5 days old btw (also ebf) and it was a godsend. He dropped it himself at about 2/3 months when he could reliably find his thumb.

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polkadotdelight · 04/09/2015 13:53

Ours are steam sterilised in microwave - in a pot with loose lid, some water to cover teats in bottom and on for two minutes. Ours did say on the pack that you could do that though.

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mumofboyo · 04/09/2015 13:55

First, don't feel bad about "resorting" to using a dummy; there's nothing wrong with them and, as your sister said, they can be very useful. It doesn't have to be a hard job giving them up either; my dd just went to sleep without it one night at 6 months and never touched one since whereas ds sucked his fingers until he was 3+.

Yes, it'll need sterilising before use and probably every day (we had 2 or 3 so one could be washed, the other in use and one as spare).

We gave dd the dummy for much the same reason as you: the sucking action seemed to help keep her milk down after a feed and helped stop the constant demands for milk that she didn't actually drink much of.

We gave her one of those flat ones to start with but she hated it so bought a different type; the one she eventually accepted was one of those Tommee Tippee ones with the big, bulbous tips.

We would give it to her every time she seemed to be uncomfortable or when she was wanting to feed but not actually wanting to drink iyswim.

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Sparrowlegs248 · 04/09/2015 14:02

I feel bad - why do i feel bad?! He's just had a big feed, fallen asleep and i let him sleep for 10 minutes then tried to put him down. 3 minutes later wide awake and crying. I was hoping the dummy might help him nap but for some reason feel bad about it.

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icklekid · 04/09/2015 14:10

We bought mam ones that you use the box to sterilise in the microwave which made it easy

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polkadotdelight · 04/09/2015 14:19

It takes 20 minutes for them to go into a deep enough sleep to put down (if its going to work!) and the usual stuff about hot water bottle to warm matress really does help.

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na5ima · 04/09/2015 14:24

Nottalotta.. Have you tried vaccum cleaner sound.. It's a life saver.. My lil man is 3 month now and initially he wasn't sleeping.. He didn't suffer from reflux and didn't like the dummy.. He stills struggles latching on it.. I tried the tommie tippie, avent and now got the mam ones.. But latches better with mam but throws it out. So only use it when I know his tired but awake so usually I jus put it in his mouth when I know his going to go to sleep and put the vaccum sound noise. There is an app so I downloaded so it's on my phone. And yes you have to sterilise the dummy..

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trixymalixy · 04/09/2015 14:27

i thought that same as you before i had children. dummies were a total life saver.

you will need to sterilise them, I had a small microwave steriliser that fitted just a dummy in from mothercare iirc.

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Graciescotland · 04/09/2015 14:34

I thought the same as you but decided to try dummies as well sadly none of my children have ever accepted one; not uncommon for bf babies to refuse though highly annoying after you've been contemplating the decision for ages.

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sarahlou31 · 04/09/2015 15:31

I'm the same and never thought I'd use a dummy but I want to now try and see if it'll help at night as DD takes a while to settle. I know it sounds silly but I don't really know how to use a dummy. At what point should I give it to her? Once she's in her crib or before the? Also when I've tried putting it in she sometimes seems to gag on it which scares me so I take it out and don't try again. On a couple of nights she has taken it and sucked it so not sure why it differs on different nights. Any advice on how to use one would be great.
By the way she is 8 weeks and EBF.

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cjt110 · 04/09/2015 15:35

We bought some. We held off until DS was inconsolable at 4w. He needed something to sooth him. It did. He's just over 1 now and only has his dummy when he is tired/going to sleep.

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Lj8893 · 04/09/2015 15:38

Dd (nearly 2) had a dummy from about 2 weeks old. Lifesaver!
She only has it at night & naps now or for longer car journeys where she gets bored and frustrated.

If she is still using it by her 3rd birthday I will use the dummy fairy trick.

I sterilised her dummy's at first but now just wash them well. Lidls have a little dummy steriliser at the moment.

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NickyEds · 04/09/2015 15:53

Don't feel bad, dummies are fantastic sleep aides as your baby can be soothed without you being there and they can be controlled (and eventually) removed by you, unlike a thumb.
sarah I give my 7 week old a dummy when she's done feeding, had a bit of awake time and is ready to go to sleep. It's taken quite a lot of perseverance to get her to take it but it does help her settle- more for naps than night time sleep.
Notta The grunting you're describing may not be reflux, is it a kind of unsettled, wriggling (even after winding), and low pitched almost growling?? Dd is doing this now at 7 weeks. Ds did it too and he just grew out of it, the hv said that it was just their guts developing. Either way if a dummy will help you get some sleep then go for it.

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Sparrowlegs248 · 04/09/2015 17:02

I think he does do bit of growling but its mostly grunts and he does spit up quite a bit now which he didn't used to at all.

How do you persevere with the dummy, just keep popping it in? I've tried it and he sucks it in and out a few times then pops it out.

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NickyEds · 04/09/2015 17:55

Yep-just keep popping it back in. A few times I've held it until she's started to suck, it's almost as if they don't really know what they're there for at first. It obviously gets spat out if she's even remotely hungry! It also fall out almost as soon as she's actually asleep.

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ODog · 04/09/2015 20:17

My ebf newborn would only take mam dummies and even then only the tiny ones (0-2month size). Dummies are great IMHO, but they are not a fail safe solution to sleep. My DS only slept on my chest/in a sling until he was around 6months. He is now 15mo and LOVES his dummy. It's great for settling quickly during the night, giving comfort when he's tired/ill or when he is tantruming and needs 5-10mins of time with his dummy/rag/sling to calm down. They are not evil but they are also not going to make a newborn sleep on their own. At the age they are hard wired to need to be near their food source/protection/comfort which is you and they have a reflex to wake when they are put down away from you.

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ODog · 04/09/2015 20:19

Sorry that sounded a bit preachy and it wasn't meant to. It's just my experience as I was hoping for great things from a dummy.

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Secondtimeround75 · 04/09/2015 20:25

A dummy is very comforting to some babies . Don't feel guilty, some babies are just suckers

I gave my ebf dd a dummy so suit me as I was a human dummy .
I figured it was only fair to take it from her when she was ready.
She LOVED it and it was a god send after she weaned . She had dummy & my pillow in her bed .
She started to chew them at 3 & I didn't replace them . Warned her she had 5,4,3,2,1 ..... And when they were gone there were more.
All fine , she is 6 now and I've no regrets.

Put the bad mammy stick back in the press. No need to beat yoursef for giving a dummy .

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FATEdestiny · 04/09/2015 20:39

I think there is something snobbish which makes people feel dummies are bad (they aren't).

I doubt you will fid very many first time Mums who plan to use a dummy. But you will find many second, third time Mums who buy dummies along with nappies from the beginning - so necessary they are.

Dummies are the gentlest of no-cry sleep solutions.

Dummies are amazing sleep aids.

Dummies teach independent sleeping

The Parenting Holy Grail: Being able to put baby down awake and walk away while baby goes to sleep themselves - this starts with teaching the baby to use a dummy.