I was so happy....

[MissTwister]

...as the last week or so my 8 week old (today) had started to sleep beautifully going from 9/9:30ish to about 4/4:30 straight allowing us a lovely 6 or so hours sleep.

The only thing we dared hoped for was that she went down to sleep a bit earlier so we could have an evening together. Then she did start going to sleep earlier - around 8pm. Yay we thought and watched a film!

But alas our joy was short lived because it turned out she has just added in an extra night feed now at around 12:30am (and then 4:30) with no gap longer than 4.5 hours, a big difference to her 7 hour gap before.

Last night I tried to do a dream feed at 22:30 but she just would not wake up enough to latch on. She thought she was, bless her, as she was sucking in her dreams but there was no nipple in her mouth!

Does anyone have any tips? I'm really keen to get her sleeping for that longer stretch again because often at 4:30 or 5 she's awake for the day and I would only get 5 hours sleep max in total.

Should I perhaps wake her up for a feed in between 8pm and midnight if she won't do a dream feed?

[Tillytoes14]

My first son used to wake for an early morning feed until he was three months, then slept through. My second son used to wake two hourly until he was about six months old, he woke for one early morning feed until he was nine months and then eventually slept through. My 9 week old daughter cluster feeds until 9.30 and sleeps through until 8-8.30, surprising I know, but her weight gain is fine, so my health visitor has told us to keep things the way they are, sometimes she will wake for one night feed though. All were/are breastfed. I don't think you can have much control over waking/feeding times, they're all different. If your daughter is happy and gaining weight, I wouldn't change things.

[MissTwister]

Thanks for reply, I understand all babies are different but she's sleeping less now and I know she's happy doing longer stretches so I just wondered if anyone had any tips around the dream feed, whether it would help and whether i should wake her?

[ODog]

She is so tiny and her sleep patterns will change about a thousand times more. Sleep isn't a linear progression. My advice would be to enjoy it when you get it and roll with it when things aren't so great. However, she sounds like she is still sleeping better than most babies doing her less short stretches. My DS is 15mo and although he doesn't have a feed in the night now, he will generally wake 3/4 times for a cuddle, dummy, no apparent reason etc.

[TheGirlAtTheRockShow]

Agree with pp's. Just go with the flow when it comes to feeds/sleep! It's something I've really struggled with, and still do! So much affects sleep - learning new skills, growth spurts, teething, the weather, moods etc. If you try to fight it, and impose what you want you are likely to fail and get frustrated. At this age is too young to try sleep training yet anyway. Sleep when you can, ride out the bad nights and it will all come together eventually.

[Tillytoes14]

Dream feeding never worked for me, our son was always too sleepy and would never latch on, my health visitor told me, baby would feed, when he needs/wants feeding. I remember everyone telling me my second son should be sleeping through at three months, took him nine months and this added pressure, to get him to sleep through, I felt I wasn't doing something right, but, he just took that much longer, yes it left me sleep deprived for nine months and it was exhausting, but, that was his sleeping pattern and he was very much a baby that loved the comfort of suckling. Do you cluster feed at all MissTwister?

[trilbydoll]

Dream feeding never worked for DD1, despite being awake 85% of the night, when she was asleep she only woke up on her terms!

Honestly, it will change so much. At 6w DD2 was doing a long stretch like you describe. Then she stopped, and woke up every 2/3 hours. The last week or so she was up every hour but last night she did a decent stretch again, 10-4. Until they're a bit bigger (maybe 5m) you can't rely on anything!

[MissTwister]

Tillytoes - she feeds every hour between 5 and 8 if that counts as cluster feeding? Is there something else I could be doing?

Last night she added in ANOTHER feed so 11pm, 2am, 5am (awake for day). She used to just do 4am then 6:30.....

I guess if she woke at 11pm it was kind of a dream feed - except it didn't work as she was up 3 hours later!

She is 4.5 weeks adjusted and therefore according to Wonder Weeks in one of their phases so maybe this is making a difference?

[Sparrowlegs248]

Your bad nights sound like my good nights miss :-)

DS is 5.5 wks. Struggled to nap yesterday. Fell asleep on me several times but woke every time i put him down - i persisted as felt sure he would sleep sooner or later! Ended up in the sling while i did lunch and then dinner.

Last night slept 9-10, 11-1, 1.30-2.30 then was mostly awake til 7. He dozed a bit but ws grunting and noisy so i was awake. Then slept 7 - 10. In bed with me. This is the poor side of normal. The longest he's slept is 8 - 12 once. .

Id be thrilled with your DD sleep!

[KitKat1985]

TBH Miss even with the extra feeds your DD is doing a hell of a lot better than my DD was at that age. No word of a lie I was lucky to get an hour or two's sleep a night (but she had colic). She's very young still. I'd just go with the flow for a while, and have a nap in the day when she does.

[TeamBacon]

This sounds totally normal, well.. It sounds pretty good actually. Two night wakings at this age are expected, tbh. Growth spurts and development bugger up their sleep, and tbh at this age there's not really much you can do about it. Don't bother dream feeding, just feed when she wakes and go with the flow. In a few weeks she may well settle into a more predictable daytime routine, and that may translate into more settled nights, but the minute you get used to it, it'll change again.

Honestly, go with the flow. I stressed about this with my first and it was so pointkess and ultimately achieved nothing

[Sparrowlegs248]

On the occasions DS has gone to sleep early (8/9) and stayed asleep I have agonized over what to do at 10/11 re feeding/nappy. Now I make sure he has a clean nappy on at 7 ish and then if he's sleeping at 10/11 i put him in his basket and leave him to it. I know he'll wake at 12/1 but find that if i wake him he often won't settle properly.

I have often had leaky nappies and dont want that to deal with in the small hours if i can avoid it.

[MissTwister]

In the daytime she will only really sleep on me so no naps for me then!

I hear what you're all saying about it being normal - just seems every one else I know seems to say their babies are sleeping long stretches at this age

[Sparrowlegs248]

They're lying. That's what i tell myself. :-) Or formula feeding - apparently ff babies sleep longer stretches.

Re napping, this morning I took DS into bed, laid on my side with the feeding pillow in front of me. He lays on top of it and feeds. Then sleeps snuggled up to me. He can feed from either breast this way and isn't at danger of being rolled on or gettingbhis nose obstructed. Worth a try if you are exhausted.

[knittingbee]

Babies don't read this book or that book and then decide to follow that pattern... They go backwards and forwards and cluster-feed to increase your milk production and then drop random feeds, leaving your boobs sore and leaky. It's a constant ebb and flow while you're still counting their age in weeks. Once they're several months old, you may be lucky enought to glean some sort of pattern from their activities. Or maybe it'll be years.

Sorry I know that's not helpful, but like others have said, rolling with it is your best survival strategy IME :)

[Lilipot15]

Sorry to say but totally agree with previous replies - your daughter is so young still, just go with the flow and don't over-analyse things.

I tried a dream feed, she was having none of it - too nice and asleep. I remembered how someone explained it to me "imagine if someone woke you up from a deep sleep by shoving a large sandwich in your mouth when you're not even hungry" and abandoned that idea.

Steer clear of discussing sleep with other parents. I eventually realised I was boring myself with thinking about DD1s sleep.

Enjoy your new baby, go with what she wants and needs (look up fourth trimester) and don't force routines on either of you. And I say again, steer clear of competitive sleep discussions with other parents.....

Also, aim to go to bed earlier at least sometimes. And if she is your first, try to rest when she does sleep as no chance of that second time around. Presumably you're on maternity leave at this stage - I found one thing that helped me was to consider feeding as "my job" - life changed to fit around this new job, not making the baby change its natural patterns to fit around my life.

Congratulations on your new baby.

[daimbar]

My DD is the same age and was too sleepy for a dream feed when I first tried it, so I now change her nappy beforehand which wakes her up enough to feed. I nearly gave up on them as the first couple of times i just seemed to disturb her (and people say 'never wake a sleeping baby') but glad I persevered with them as she now seems to know it's coming and wakes up on her own.

Before the dream feeding she would wake at least three times in the night but the last week or so she has slept from 7pm - 7am with a dream feed at 11 and one night feed about 4.

So I would say keep trying! Good luck x

[Kraggle]

daimbar if you're baby is having a dream feed at 11 (with nappy being changed to wake her up) and waking up for a feed at 4am she is not sleeping 7-7!

Never count on babies to sleep in the same way for very long. They lull you into a false sense of security then they change the rules on you.

[superbfairywren]

We never managed dream feeding. The waking will change every few days/week at this stage. My Dd is 9months and still wakes numerous times for milk at night, but it's different every night. Just go with what the baby wants, it's too early for any routine, at that age I was still going to bed when I put my dd down in the evening. Started having an evening again about 4 months and even now sometimes I go to bed early and my dh listens out for her for a few hours so I can get a chunk of sleep then I take over when he comes to bed(did this a lot when first teeth came through). It is difficult and sleep deprivation affects people differently but you do get used to it. I know it's horrible but it will be constantly changing for the next few months/years and your body will adapt. Good luck.