I've had my first baby - now what?!?!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I had a baby boy on Friday, by c section. He's a big strong lad, 9lb 1!

I am clueless with babies and had never changed a happy til i did his. Before and during pregnancy i read all there was to read about conception, pregnancy, labour, breastfeeding etc.

Now he's here i realise i didn't really look beyond the birth! And am a bit of a less as to what i should be doing with him. He is feeding really well so we spend a lot of time doing that. He sleeps well but doesn't like his Moses basket so we are working on that - i keep trying him in it. Other than that, we have lots of cuddled, i hold him a lot, we wander about the house with the radio on singing and chatting. But i don't know what to do about stimulation and that sort of thing. I am feeling more and more mobile by the day so hope if the rain stops to go out for walks but when do you introduce playmate and that sort of thing? Also, as he doesn't like his Moses basket i struggle to put him down to do stuff. What do you do when you want to wash up?

We came home Sunday.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Sorry posted too soon. I meant play mat not mate.

I know its very early days yet but want to 'get it right' as much as i can!

[AndThisIsTrue]

Have you got a sling? They are very handy for when they don't want to be put down.
Sounds like you are doing fine though, at this stage they just want cuddles and milk really!
I wouldn't worry about stimulation for a few weeks although you can try him on a play mat if you wanted to have your hands free for a few minutes.
Just enjoy the baby snuggles!

[IAmAPaleontologist]

congratulations

you sound as though you are doing brilliantly. being with you and hearing you talk to him is all the simulation he needs right now. babies do tend to be glued to you for a while, that's normal, you are his whole world and he isn't so sure about being a separate entity. you could consider a sling to get a few things done and be hands free, do you have a sling library close to you? your main job is to nurse and cuddle him though, sod the washing up!

once you get out and about then walks etc are great for you more than him though he will enjoy them too as he gets bigger, but you will go crazy stuck in the house! baby groups are more for you too so you can have a natter and a cuppa, take a look at what is going on at sure start centres or if you have an nct bumps and babies (don't need to be a member to go) and ask your health visitor when you meet her about baby massage which can be a lovely thing to do with your baby.

be kind to yourself, you've had major surgery, it takes time to recover so don't push yourself, enjoy this time feeding and cuddling, rest when you can, look up safe bedsharing since you have a basket refuser, isis online is the best source of sleep information as it is always current and evidence based.

most importantly enjoy your baby .

[FernGullysWoollyPully]

Congratulations! Lovely weight, had a 9lb 2 one myself, scrummy little chubbs he was

Sounds like you're doing brill to me. He's 5 days old, don't rush. You don't need to be doing anything with him at the moment, just enjoy him.

At the moment he can't see very far anyway, think boob to face so keeping him close to you and using soothing tones is all he really needs. Playmats are used when they become more alert. A few weeks.

If he doesn't like the moses, try a sling as pp suggested, but instead of making that commitment straight off, try the pram. Swaddling might help him settle too.

[jennifer86]

Congrats on your new LO. He is 5 days old - at that stage we were still in hospital so you're doing really well. Spend as much time feeding as he wants, make a nest for you both on the sofa, and enjoy the cuddles ????. My DS never liked his Moses basket either, by all means keep trying, mine settled a bit more easily once feeding was established. But we used to cosleep for about half the night so it might be worth reading about how to do this safely if they really don't like being put down. Slings are very useful for getting stuff done around the house, but at this stage make the most of your DP/parents/friends/other support. No one should be visiting the baby without doing a job for you at this point!! Congrats again! ????

[Teeste]

Congrats! My DS is 6 weeks old today and I'm still wondering the same thing Most important is to look after yourself as well as the baby. From what I've read and from what the HV said, lots of eye contact, talking to him, singing to him, rocking/swaying/dancing with him, maybe later on showing him some interesting black and white (or other strong contrast) patterns and playing some music is enough for now. So you're already doing that!

I find a walk a day really important for both of us. It settles him (for a while) and gets me out of the house. It's a good idea to take him out during the day so he can start to get used to what is day/light and what is night/dark, although his rhythms won't properly kick in until around 3 months, apparently.

My DS is supremely unimpressed by his baby gym (and bouncer and rocker), but you can try it for tummy time. Get down on the floor with him so he knows you're there and keep talking to him. I have a Poddle Pod and Sleepyhead for putting him down for naps in, but bouncers are also a decent choice. Or a sling could work.

TBH, DS mostly slept until the 2 week growth spurt and then everything changed! Just focus on getting through each day and getting to know each other, you'll be fine

[Wishful80sMontage]

Congrats!
Its very early days OP all you need to focus on really is rest, cuddles, feeding and you feeding (I hardly ate the couple of weeks which didn't help the bf process).
Enjoy visitors and while they have a cuddle you have a hot drink :)
We walked little and often first few weeks and then after a couple of months we were a bit more ready for groups and play dates but dd would have been about 3 months by then.
How's feeding going? My first 4 weeks were very painful until I actually listened to my friends advice of lansinoh cream and cabbage leaves which worked amazingly well!
Congratulations OP enjoy the snuggles on the sofa :)

[MrsWooster]

you're doing exactly what you should! there is no right and chatting and singing to your baby will be one of your happiest memories. yes to baby massage when you feel like it and baby yoga - basically playing with your baby on a play at with a bit of a stretch for you and some grown ups to compare babies talk to. sling is good and basket etc will come. They pretty much just grow up and bimble along and you can too!

[Pixi2]

Snuggle on the settee, watch trash tv, feed, cuddle, talk to him, sing, cuddle, enjoy rainy days with naps. Walk outside on nice days. Limit housework, you've had a section and housework is forever there. Cuddle.
Make yourself snacks to keep until feeding times. I used to find bf made me hungry.

[avocadotoast]

Congratulations

My DD is 9 weeks now and I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing!

I found it really difficult even from the start to just be in the house all day. I try and get out every day if I can. Even if it's just a trip to the shop, it's still something!

I started off going to a local baby group once a week (though we haven't been every week as it starts early and sleep is more important!). This week we went to yoga for the first time, which was lovely.

Take it steady, look after yourself, and if anyone offers to clean your house don't be too proud to say yes

[ch1134]

What happens now is you relax and enjoy! Babies this small need no 'stimulation'. Being with you and watching you go about daily life is enough. They just spent 9 months in darkness in a tiny space, the world is fascinating enough as it is! He'll want cuddles, milk and sleep. When he's asleep you can wash up. When he's awake you can enjoy each others' company. No-one believes me, but I've never read more than with my newborn. We went out every day, but also spent a lot of time snuggling while I read books. Precious.

[Mulligrubs]

Congratulations!

Cuddle, feed, sing to him, talk to him, let him sleep lots. Sounds like you're doing everything you need to

At this age they don't need a lot of stimulation, as he gets older you'll sort of notice when he needs more!

Ignore housework and look after yourself. I had an EMCS and found my recovery better when I started taking my DS for walks every day - just short walks at first. Make time for yourself - showers, naps even painting your nails if you like doing that sort of thing. It is easy to forget about yourself when you have a new baby.

[Sparrowlegs248]

Thank you so much for all of your responses. Its really helpful to see others feel the same! I am normally very very active, i have 2 horses and was dealing with then twice a day until the day before the section. Really not used to not leaving the house and not driving - i live 6 miles from the nearest town.

Feeding is going remarkably well. I consider myself very lucky. He knows what he's doing and gets on with it. He did sleep in his basket between midnight and 3am last night, longest stretch so far and second actual sleep so that was good. Am ordering a sleepyhead for him today for when he comes onto our bed as i am too anxious to sleep with him on the bed! He will sleep in the middle of our bed on his own quite happily but just not keen on ths basket for some reason. I dobhave a sling and carrier but will need a bit more tummy recovery before i use them i think.

Thanks again everyone. I"m still in a state of shock that he's mine. :-)

[lemoncordial]

Congratulations! I'd recommend buying the book Your Baby Week by Week. I felt the and as you did and found the nook really useful guidance.

[Littlef00t]

Google Wonder weeks. I found it useful for understanding why dd was acting how she was.

Also, dd did her first full night I. The Moses basket at 2 weeks old. DH and I did shifts of her sleeping on us awake and short stints in the basket til then. V normal but I didn't know.

[PumpkinPie2013]

Congratulations on your lovely DS My ds was born by c - section at 9lb 6 oz so very similar to yours and he was so squidgy and cuddly

It sounds like your doing great - we did very similar to you in the first few weeks as I didn't really feel well enough to do much.

Once I started to feel better we went for little walks (short because it was January and freezing) and I started going to a couple of groups to meet people but they were more for me at first.

Enjoy your new baby

[Beboldbestrong]

I've heard that sleep pods are good for babies who don't like moses baskets, the Sleepyhead is most popular (and pricey c.£100) but the reviews speak for themselves. they make a good transition to the cot too.

[Glitteryarse]

Retreat to the couch with baby and do not leave for one month. You will never get this time back .

Enjoy!