Toddler and New Baby- Support thread!

[cowbiscuits]

Inspired by a thread last week where someone's DH was just going back to work... There's bound to be a lot of mums in this situation so I thought we could all have a rant, a laugh, and share any tips.

My DS2 is 7 weeks and DS2 is 2y9m. It's still a struggle when it's just us and I feel awful for my bigger boy who just wants me to play with him!

I dread the end of the weekend. But thanks to slings and ceebeebies we're all still alive!

Anyone else want to share? How are you all getting on?

[Newtobecomingamum]

I will be watching this thread with interest.. My baby is due in dec and my little boy will be 2.5yrs and I am really worried about coping. I had severe sleep deprivation with my son when he was a new born and I don't know how not being able to sleep in the day when baby did eventually sleep but this time around having to occupy a toddler too. I'm scared lol!

[Scotinoz]

I have an 18mth old and a 7wk old.

I've become incredibly lax - if it's not dangerous I let my toddler do it, if it means I get 5minutes peace. The house looks it's been ransacked. I drink a lot of coffee to survive. My toddler's eaten a lot of 'beige' dinners lately.

I hope these are all temporary parenting tactics and standards are raised in the future!

[Dreamingofchocolate2]

I'm due in 11 weeks and my ds2 will be 18/19months plus I have an 8year old son. I am literally shitting bricks!! I feel so un-prepared. And I actually have childcare back ground and I'm still freaking out about how I'm going to cope..... I'm sure it'll be fine!! Perhaps I should start preparing microwaveable meals now!!! Well in advance of the first few weeks of absolute chaos!!!

[louiseee123]

I have a 2 week old dd and a 3.4 year old ds. It was my husbands first day back at work today and we managed ok, ds has been poorly so him and dd waking every 2 hours last few days but i've coped much better this time!

[ChickenLaVidaLoca]

It is very tough. I couldn't have got through it without DH taking lots of leave and getting loads of help from family generally. But it gets easier.

[paddlenorapaddle]

can i join in I have a 2.5yr and 3 week old DH gone back to work

[crazytyke]

I have a 2.3 yr old and an 8 week old

life is hell, most of the time!

[mumofboyo]

It's very hard to begin with but found that it very quickly got easier. With each milestone that the baby hit - smiling, sitting, crawling, walking, talking etc, it seemed to become a bit less fraught because I wasn't under constant demand for holding, feeding, changing and entertaining duties. Now, at 4&2, they play and argue together really well and I can actually finish a cup of tea whilst it's still hot

[crazytyke]

Good thread by the way. so today the toddler was at nursery so much easier day, but I do find I miss him more than I used to. Does anyone else? I feel like the baby gets all my attention, and when I do have 5 mins to focus on DS he's more interested in football / peppa pig than cuddling me.

[cowbiscuits]

Hi everyone!

Crazytyke, yes exactly, my ds1 is in Nursery weds-fri (may have to drop to 2 days) and while I know he loves it, and it keeps me sane, I feel really guilty about it. And I miss having time just with me and him.

We've had a bit too much beige food too.

Mumofboyo you're right it does seem easier with milestones. The smiling one makes a big difference.......

Baby just squirted a massive poo all over the changing mat at 4am, all with a huge grin, I swear he was laughing.

Must go back to sleep now. Toddler will be awake soon!

[cowbiscuits]

I wrote that at 5am and never actually posted it, posted it now, obviously toddler has been awake ages.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I'm following this in anticipation. DC2 is due in 3 weeks and DD is 19 months. She's not in nursery and we don't really have anyone round to help, and DH works long hours and is away 2-3 nights a week!
DD still doesn't sleep through, she's up once or twice a night so things should be interesting!

[cowbiscuits]

Hi Worldsbiggestgrotbag and welcome!

I think the only thing to remember is that billions of others have done this and everyone survived!

I do realise I've got it easy though. DH took DS1 to Nursery while me and the baby were in bed still. He's just woken for a feed half an hour ago and we're both still all sleepy.

[mumof2oneofeach]

A vibrating bouncer chair is how we survive at the moment! 3 month old sits in it while I play with 3 year old. Also lax cleanliness standards ;-)

[crazytyke]

How does everyone manage bed times with 2? I can't decide whether to do the toddler or the baby first. Baby is very grumpy and won't be put down in a bouncer or anywhere after 6pm. Toddler is happy watching TV but needs plenty sleep so ideally bed 7pm. He is very good at bedtime and would probably go to bed without his stories but i don't want him t miss out on that just because the baby is crying

[NickyEds]

I'm 36 weeks expecting a dd and ds is 18 months. Absolutely shitting myself. Ds doesn't go to nursery either Worlds and I've had plenty of faces about it. The general consensus seems to be that you need either nursery or family (not possible for us)to take your eldest a couple of days a week to survive! It's got me very worried. That and breast feeding. And the amount of telly ds watches. And the amount of crap he eats. And the state of the house. And she's not even here yet!! AArghh

[hereharehere33]

Hi guys, I have a 2.6 DS and a 10wk old DS. My life is a bit hazy at the moment as the sleep deprivation is brutal. My toddler is at nursery two days a week and those days allow me to catch up on things (inc some sleep!) but I'm knackered most of the time. It's easier when the weather is good as I just let the toddler play outside-I've bought every garden toy I can afford! I try and get out every day so I don't go completely mad.

I reckon once my baby starts sleeping better ill be able to cope more. Also when he's sitting up, I'm hoping just watching his older brother will entertain him. It's been hard work, but time seems to be going fast and it has to get easier...right!?!

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

To make it all better, my toddler has fractured her leg today and is in plaster until 10 days after my due date

[angel24711]

I have DS1 who is 2.4 and a DS2 who is nearly 4 months.
I have honestly found it not as bad as I feared. The jump from 1 to 2 children is nowhere as big as from 0 to 1. As other posters have said your standards do slip a bit, but if anything I think that's been a positive for my toddler who has grown more in confidence as he has had a little less over mothering.
A massive help has been having at least one nursery day a week, I have Tuesday and Thursday, which means during the week I always have the next day off the toddler. I'm dropping this to just mornings at nursery 2 days a week, but that will still be very useful.
Also if you can find a friend with kids with the same age gap it's a god send. I hang out with this friend 3 mornings a week, and it means one of us can run around after the toddlers when needed while the other watches the babies

[hereharehere33]

Oh no Worlds I hope she's doing ok. That must be difficult for you. I found the last couple of mths of pregnancy hard work with a toddler around. I just wanted to sleep and wasn't able to play with him like he want. We both ended up frustrated

[NickyEds]

Nightmare Worlds. Is she ok?

here I think ds gets a bit frustrated with the "lets sit down and read" games and would much rather be racing around a toddler group. I'm poorly so dp took this morning off to take him to stay and play just to get him out of the house. I'm already feeling very guilty about the amount of time we're spending in the house. We need the weather to get better so we can at least go into the garden.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

She's ok, but she's such an active thing (I've never seen her sit still for more than 5 mins before) and now can't understand why she can't walk! She's in a full cast from her foot to thigh ????. I actually think I'm more distraught by it than her! All she did was trip over the tiny piece of wood that joins our kitchen floor to our living room floor.
Now praying baby stays put until she's out of plaster!

[cowbiscuits]

Worldsbiggest are you ok? so sorry for your little girl breaking her leg, that must be awful for a toddler. Hope she is not feeling too miserable and it heals quick. That must be tough when you're heavily pregnant.

Hard as it is in other ways, I'd say having a new baby and toddler is easier physically than being heavily pregnant with toddler.

I'm staying at my mums this weekend because DH has gone on a Stag do. DS1 has been the perfectly charming model child for his grandparents, typically. Although he got really distraught the first night and wouldnt sleep on his own and had to sleep in my bed but he was OK tonight. DS2 has been colicky so its nice to have someone to hold him while I do stuff like showering.

Hope everyone ok

[Lilipot15]

Count me in! I've got a 1 week old and a 16 month old. I'm up feeding, DH been up for 2 hours with the toddler! A knackered Father's Day ahead....
Sorry to see about the broken leg World's....hope she mends quickly and isn't in pain.

[Dec1314mummy]

Hi all, well in a little ahead as I have a 5 month old and an 18 month old. Dc1 started walking 3 weeks before dc2 arrived and is very active. Neither babies sleeps well (multiple allergies and reflux) so the last 5 months has been a haze of no sleep. The first 3 months I old survived with a sling as dc2 would not be out down ANYWHERE! It was a nightmare. Dh works very long hours which doesn't help! Things are starting to get a little easier, but I am looking forward to a time they get easier still, but I hate wishing the time away.
I'm back at work in a few weeks as well, so that will be interesting.
crazy bed times in our house are a matter of survival at the minute. Dc2 doesn't self settle at all and dc1 is in the depths of the 18 month sleep regression so has forgotten how to sleep at all! I tend to put dc1 down first after having a story time downstairs first together. I put toddler in the bath and then baby, then get baby out and dressed, then toddler. Leave baby in the bathroom, run and put toddler into bed, then come back for baby. At the minute once I've settled baby then it's back to toddler. I'm almost ashamed to day I haven't enjoyed the past 5 months as much as I wish I had
Sorry to hear about your toddler world. here's to a speedy recovery.