Fucking hell I just lost my son, he'd let himself out the house

(41 Posts)
sebsmummy1 Tue 02-Jun-15 16:20:26

My heart is hammering in my chest and can't get hold of anyone to just talk it through to calm me down.

DS is a very immature 2.5 year old with speech delay. Came back from shopping, refused to nap so brought him back downstairs and he was messing about with the TV and his toys whilst I was cleaning and gutting 6 fish!!! I thought it had gone a bit quiet but we have a huge storm here at the moment and lots of things were clattering about outside so I didn't hear the front door go.

I finished with the fish came into the living room and there was no one there. I ran in and out every room of the house in total silence and each one was empty. I was trying to decide whether to ring the police when I opened the front door and he was out there playing with stones with the wind galing all about him sad

He did this once before ages ago and got a big telling off and hasn't done it since. We have UPVC doors and I need to lock it from the inside to secure it and I didn't. I honestly honestly hate myself. I don't even know how long he was out there for as I was so caught up in my kitchen task. Fucking hell he is my only child, I can't have anymore and I nearly lost him. I don't know how I'm not sobbing right now, I think I'm
In total shock. I will never leave that bloody door unlocked again. Terrifying.

LotsaDots Tue 02-Jun-15 16:32:41

Don't worry we've all made mistakes, he is safe, and it won't happen again because you'll lock the door brew take a deep breath you'll be ok.

mumofboyo Tue 02-Jun-15 17:46:04

my sister fell asleep on the settee once with her then two yr old watching the tv. She woke up to someone knocking on the door, bringing her son back because, without her realising, he'd unlocked the door (the key was still in) and wandered off down the street.

I'm not telling you this to try to make light of it or to be funny; rather, I'm trying to say that you're not the only one who has made that mistake.

Yes, something bad could have happened but it didn't and you and your ds are fine so treat it as a wake-up call, or a learning experience, change your routine (ie lock the door and remove the key when you get in) and try to relax.

These near misses are awful but they serve to keep us on our toes and to stay aware of danger.

Give your ds a cuddle, have a brew and try not to give the possibilities too much thought. thanks .

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Tue 02-Jun-15 17:50:03

Don't feel too bad.

We recently left our 18 month old alone in the front garden for 10 minutes.
Dh thought I had him I thought he was with him.
These near misses shouldn't happen but we are only human.

Hope you feel better soon - can I suggest wine

ConnortheMonkey Tue 02-Jun-15 17:51:10

You poor thing, it's not your fault. He's back and he's safe. Have something sugary to get over the shock. Happened to my friend as well that her DS let himself out when she thought he was napping in the buggy by the front door, he'd been taken in down the road and the police called before she noticed!!

HeyDuggee Tue 02-Jun-15 17:54:52

I remember watching with horror as I was coming up to the back patio door (emptying the bin) to see my toddler stand on his tip toes to juuuuuuust barely reach up to the key in the door -- and turn it! He locked me out!! I had no idea he was able to reach it, let alone bloody use it. Thankfully, my DH was standing behind him.
They do surprise you, don't they.

sebsmummy1 Tue 02-Jun-15 17:55:23

Thank you flowers

Those seconds I spent running in and out of every room were hellish. It was like a bloody film and I was trying to figure out how long to keep looking until I rang 999.

I absolutely hate those UPVC doors as you are forced to lock yourself in and yet if there was a fire you could end up seriously injured or worse whilst you were trying to put the key in the lock and unlock it - because as you rightly say, if I leave the keys in the door he could unlock it and he unlocks my car also with the fob.

I just cannot believe how such a mundane day could have turned into a tragedy in a few minutes. Can't stop thinking about the what ifs sad

Starlightbright1 Tue 02-Jun-15 17:56:45

Can I just remind you David Cameron left his child in the pub... We all make mistakes..

Be kind to yourself

RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc Tue 02-Jun-15 18:05:51

Oh yes, I've been locked out by a toddler - no dh though and toddler thought it so funny she ran upstairs and hid under the bed giggling shock I had to balance garden furniture to climb to the window to persuade her to unlock. ... I was too scared to figure out calling the police or breaking a window so instead risked breaking my neck and putting toddler in even more danger hmm

It happens, I think everyone has a story like this, we make mistakes and we learn. It's how we learn with most things so why do we expect to be perfect with parenting from day 1? There's enough pressure as a parent, don't heap more on yourself! Hug him, thank your lucky stars, plan ahead, move on and pour wine smile

dementedma Tue 02-Jun-15 18:17:21

After I had DC 1 I proudly pushed her out in her pram for one of her first trips out into the village. Only a week or two old, I was a zombie....did the shopping, came home feeling I had forgotten something...yup, dc1. Still parked outside one of the shops!!!!
Cue frantic rush down the street to retrieve her.

sebsmummy1 Tue 02-Jun-15 18:21:55

demented my Mum did that to me too when I was a baby! I am so careful with him too, harness on when we are out and about or he goes in the pushchair, house is baby proofed with door catches and gates, chest of drawers attached to the wall with webbing, all manner of precautions taken but nope, couldn't lock the door hmm

cathpip Tue 02-Jun-15 18:22:29

MY mums fave story of my brother was when he was three and playing in the garden, the gate was 6ft high with a lock at the top, he pushed his bike up against the gate stood on his bike and shook the gate till the lock moved over, he then proceeded to walk down to the entrance of the army barracks where he was stopped by a soldier in full combats with gun who then brought him home. Mum only realised he had gone when there was a knock at the door and there stood my brother looking mightily chuffed holding a soldiers hand!!

TravellingToad Tue 02-Jun-15 18:26:24

Adding my story to make you feel better... Our house is right on the road, no front garden. When DS was about 18m he let himself out and dh and I noticed after about 3 minutes he wasn't in the room anymore. We had a quick scan of the downstairs and then opened the front door and stepped onto the pavement. DS was nearly at the end of the pavement in just a nappy and barefoot.
Thank god he hadn't stepped off the pavement. Proper heart pounding stuff.

Be kind to yourself op. Xx

sebsmummy1 Tue 02-Jun-15 18:27:40

Oh god I've suddenly thought he might have tried to walk to the park which is up the road, crossing a road that gets busy at rush hour. I don't think he would have the confidence but we do the route fairly often so I guess it might have been possible. Imagining him toddling across the road makes me want to throw up.

Wellwellwell3holesintheground Tue 02-Jun-15 18:43:03

DS2 did this - opened stair gate and front door, went up drive and wandered into the middle of the road. A passing builder brought him back. I still go cold thinking about it.

Pipistrella Tue 02-Jun-15 19:33:24

Sebs, you're Ok love, there are people who intentionally harm children out there - you are not one of them flowers

My older kids left the door open once and while I was putting away the shopping, ds (who was about 18 months at the time) escaped and wandered all the way down the path next to the road, and someone found him and called the police before I realised he was gone.

It was one of the worst moments of my life. Truly, there but for the grace of God - also the policeman who came was pretty hmm about the messy state of our house. He even checked in the fridge and we had nothing in it! I thought my number was up. Ds is the same age as yours and thankfully still alive...but it's been a close call on occasion.

The main thing is you love him and you would never ever do anything like that on purpose. That's what counts. If you were blasé about it then we'd all be worried!

ConnortheMonkey Tue 02-Jun-15 19:36:54

Sebs, how about adding a high bolt to the door? I know what you mean about UPVC doors and locks, I don't like it either

Kasey86 Tue 02-Jun-15 19:36:57

I know how you feel, be kind to yourself. Mistakes happen and yes it could have been worse but he is safe and that's all that matters smile

When DS (9months) was about 5 months he managed to pull his blanket over his face whilst sleeping, I went to check on him and for a split second I was so scared to take the blanket off. But he was fine and now he has a gro-bag the little rascal smile

addictedtosugar Tue 02-Jun-15 19:38:31

We tend to put the chain on the door rather than lock it, for just the reasons described above about fumbling with keys when you need to get out. Obviously doesn't work if there is someone else who wants to get in. Like DH for example....

inaboxwithafox Tue 02-Jun-15 19:40:32

DS did this. It was the first time he had evermanaged to reach a door handle. He opened our front door and was about two steps through it when my MIL who rarely ever visits and casts a 'judgey pants eye' on me at the best of times declared "You do know he's heading up the drive, don't you...?" shock sad

It happens, don't overthink it or replay it, just lock your door....I now always do!!! flowers

Seriouslyffs Tue 02-Jun-15 19:50:51

You poor thing.
UPVC doors are a nightmare for not being able to secure them but get out easily.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Tue 02-Jun-15 19:58:33

My nearly 5 year old let the handbrake off the car the other day while DH had gone back into the house for 20 seconds.

The car sailed down the sloping driveway, through our gates, across the (thankfully very quiet) country lane and hit a lamp-post.

So don't worry, you are not alone!

PonyoLovesHam Tue 02-Jun-15 19:59:15

So scary op. Hope you're ok.

Dp and I took dd (then age 3) to a farm a few months ago, it was cold and we were the only people there. She saw a rabbit hopping out of the barn and chased after it, dp or I didn't see and all of a sudden realised we didn't know where she was. Cue us frantically looking all around the barn and the outside, couldn't see her. I had horrible visions of her being snatched by some random person passing by or worse... I don't know what! Thankfully she reappeared from behind the barn after a couple of minutes (dp hadn't looked properly!)

The worst thing was I'd done a jokey Facebook status about being hungover but having to go to the farm that morning, it would have been so bad had she actually disappeared!

HouseAtreides Tue 02-Jun-15 20:22:18

DS (2.7) took ten years off me a couple of months ago. He quietly went out the front door (which would normally be ok as the gate is locked), actually walked himself up with his back on the wheel arch of the car on the drive and his feet on the gate post, and climbed over the locked gate! sad (I know how he did it because he tried it again after we'd found him!)
I had a good loooong five minutes or more of sickening panic when I couldn't find him anywhere in the house, and DH had the good sense to jump the gate and go round the corner where our older DCs sometimes play out. Just as I had begun screaming DS' name in terror, I heard DH calmly say "I've got him" and reappeared with DS in his arms, utterly unbothered.
Little bloody SOD sad

Grumpyoldbiddy Tue 02-Jun-15 20:29:03

My son did this once when he was about 8 (he has additional needs). I was in the shower at about 6.30, thought he was in bed. When I got out of the shower he had gone, duvet, teddies and all.
Long story short, I found him after the longest five minutes of my life he had gone to try and find his friends house, wandered towards me with bare feet, pyjamas, wrapped in duvet and carrying teddies. I shouted / cried / sobbed / shouted - took at least a day to stop panicking. flowers for you

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