Toddler indifferent to new baby

(10 Posts)
MummyLostInParenthood Wed 27-May-15 10:06:16

Hi all, I have a 3.5 year old dd, and have just had another who is a week old. Our toddler is generally an affectionate child, so we were expecting her to react to the new baby with some excitement and curiosity, perhaps mixed with a little jealousy. We've been a bit surprised that she seems mostly disinterested. She will ask the occasional "what is my sister doing?", but other than that shows no interest. When we have suggested that she could give her a cuddle, she doesn't want to.

So far we've taken the approach of not pushing it and giving her space to adjust to things, but we're starting to worry that this isn't a normal reaction and may be a sign that she's not happy about the new arrival and perhaps we should be doing more to support her and help the bonding process.

That said, she seems generally happy within herself, and newborns really aren't that interesting, so maybe we're worrying about nothing.

Would be great to get any advice from those whose toddler reacted in the same way to their new sibling.

JoandMax Wed 27-May-15 10:09:00

Ds1 was 20 months so a fair bit younger but he was completely disinterested and indifferent to DS2 for a good 9 months, he pretty much just carried on as normal and ignored him!

It was only when DS2 began to sit up and play and babble he really noticed him. And at 5 and 7 they're the best of friends so its done no harm at all.

Bedsheets4knickers Wed 27-May-15 10:17:16

I think you've hit the nail on the head , new borns do nothing . My son was the same . He tried to brush her teeth once on day 2 of bringing her home and I found toast crumbs around her mouth on day 4. Apart from that he ignored her. Wasn't until she could interact with him that they've .grown close. He would actualy tell children off if they got near the carseat at playgroups. He never held her or shown much interest. . I would just see how things pan out. They'll be great buddies in 12 months or so

Pagwatch Wed 27-May-15 10:18:56

Toddlers are the centre of their own universe.

Newborns do nothing.

It's all quite routine. Don't worry.

JemFinch Wed 27-May-15 10:20:10

Newborns are really really boringgrin

Congratulations!

Finola1step Wed 27-May-15 10:21:06

All very normal. Once baby is able to do stuff interesting to a 3 year old (babble, roll over, crawl etc) then things will change.

DelphiniumBlue Wed 27-May-15 10:22:04

Completely normal. Newborns are boring to older children, mine didn't really take much notice of the new baby until it could react and do stuff.

Levismum Wed 27-May-15 10:25:42

I've had the 3.5 age gap twice...
I really wouldn't worry. It only been a week. Give her time to adjust.
When the baby becomes more interesting she'll be more interested.

madmummy3 Thu 28-May-15 23:03:37

I know this is really different to a baby but we got D's a kitten he had begged for and he didn't look twice at it until he got big enough to play with I asked him why he says baby friend that don't play aren't funner and boring him he likes coz he can play cars too I'm guessing babies r the same.

Lonz Thu 28-May-15 23:22:27

When my sister had her second, her DD really couldn't give any craps about the new baby. Some kids find them intriguing, a new little person, and some just don't care. But now my sister's two are both close to each other and they're protective of each other. I think my niece didn't really start getting interested until the new baby was starting to move around more and he became more interesting.
I would take it as a sign that she's either adjusting or that you have prepared her well for the new baby.

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