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Parenting

Is this a bad idea?

25 replies

starodyssey2015 · 26/05/2015 13:19

Mine and my partners friends live 2 doors down from us and have invited us to a bbq next weekend. The thing is though, it will be at 7.30 (my lb goes to bed at 6) and I don't want to keep him awake that long. They suggested that we put him to bed, set up a camera monitor in his room and keep looking and keep checking on him every 20 mins.

We live in terrace houses and my front door (only door) would only be a few metres away. We would be able to see and hear him and check on him but will it be safe? I'm still very so so but my partner thinks it will be fine because we sometimes sit in our garden whilst he's asleep.

Opinions please?

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OinkBalloon · 26/05/2015 13:22

Check that your monitor will work, first. But, if it does, then I see no problem with doing that.

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Gottagetmoving · 26/05/2015 13:41

How old is your son? If you can see him constantly, then it should be ok,..but I doubt I would do it especially after the McCann case,..although they were not close by.

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KatharineClifton · 26/05/2015 13:57

Personally I wouldn't do it. Can't you get him snug in a pram to sleep there if you really have to go?

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starodyssey2015 · 26/05/2015 14:09

He won't sleep in his pram. I'm not convinced I can do it either. Like will be honestly in full view of the door and it will be locked. And no windows round the back (it's a back to back) so I do know he will be safe really. Just a weird feeling

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MrsLeighHalfpenny · 26/05/2015 14:16

How old is he? We used to take our DDs with us and put them to bed wherever we were, then carry them home later.

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Gottagetmoving · 26/05/2015 14:17

Go with your feeling. You won't enjoy the BBQ if you feel uneasy.

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OinkBalloon · 26/05/2015 14:27

In a locked house, with each of you having a key in your pocket, he will be perfectly safe. Don't go scaremongering poor Maddy McCann's name into this.

How is it any different to going on holiday to a large, two-family villa, and putting the dc to bed in a bedroom at the other end of the house from where the adults socialise in the evening?

FWIW, that's why we bought a baby monitor in the first place: because we were going on holiday to a large stone cottage, and weren't sure we'd hear the babies. Do you think we spent those lovely summer evenings indoors?

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starodyssey2015 · 26/05/2015 14:28

Didn't think of it like that balloon. Thank you. Thanks to everyone x

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avocadogreen · 26/05/2015 14:29

I wouldn't personally, although I can't really say why, I just wouldn't feel comfortable. Either relocate the barbecue to your house, or you and DP take it in turns to go to the barbecue?

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Artandco · 26/05/2015 14:44

I would just let him stay up tbh and have late nap in afternoon

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Buglife · 26/05/2015 16:46

Check if your monitor will work, mine wouldn't at that range, but maybe a video one would? I guess the issue would be more things like Fire etc that you won't see on the monitor before its bad, etc. Unless you could hear the smoke alarm from neighbours house? It's a million to one chance that something like that would happen, but if you eel uneasy you'll keep feeling that way. I'd see if you could pop him up in a bedroom at theirs in a travel cot perhaps?

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DelphiniumBlue · 26/05/2015 16:55

I would not be comfortable with this, and would be checking out alternatives. Could you put him down at usual time then transfer him to neighbours?
How old is he,it rather depends on how transportable he is.

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HoggleHoggle · 26/05/2015 17:02

No, I wouldn't do it. Just doesn't feel right for me personally to leave a (I assume small) child alone in a house, even if you are supervising remotely.

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SweepTheHalls · 26/05/2015 17:04

I wouldn't, I would take him with me and put to sleep in a travel cot at theirs instead.

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MavisG · 26/05/2015 17:09

I'd do this and can't see how it's different to being in a large house/garden.

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GingerDoodle · 26/05/2015 17:21

Different ppl will have different risk tolerances. Personally we've put DD to bed and gone to our neighbours with the monitor - its no further than being in our garden (and I could probably bolt the stairs quicker form the front door).

Not sure i'd go two doors down but then I know our monitor doesn't work that far!

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Heartofgold25 · 26/05/2015 18:33

I wouldn't do it either ~ a bbq isn't worth the risk. Can they bring the BBQ and food to you? That way you could relax and enjoy it.

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lexyloub · 26/05/2015 18:57

If its just 1 night I'd keep him up and take him. Take a pram he can fall asleep in or if he's a little older put him to sleep on your friends sofa or bed and carry him home. 1 late night isn't going to do any harm.

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luckiestgirlintheworld · 26/05/2015 19:06

I wouldn't think twice about doing this, as long as you check the signal on the monitor will definitely work.

If you're still worried, go to the BBQ in shifts. You for an hour, then partner for an hour.

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LittleLionMansMummy · 26/05/2015 19:22

Had this dilemma a year ago. Ds was 3 then and a reliable sleeper - we considered locking all doors and windows and bringing the monitor with us. I decided against it not because of this risk of someone breaking in without us knowing, but because i couldn't have lived with myself if the house caught fire and I was unable to get to him. The time it would take to get back home, into the house and upstairs could make all the difference. For me it was also a risk of him waking up, wandering around quietly and hurting himself/ falling downstairs etc. I guess it's a bit different as you'll be able to actually see your dc whereas we only had a listener, but I knew I'd be on edge worrying about him and how quickly I could actually get home if i needed to.

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Lonz · 26/05/2015 23:43

Wouldn't you be able to put him down to sleep at your friends house? I wouldn't recommend putting him to sleep at your house when you're not there. Don't they have a spare bedroom you could use, so you can check frequently?

I know some kids don't like to sleep at other people's houses and it's unsettling for them but I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with my kid asleep in a different house to the one I'm in. Take a pram / travel cot to put him in when's getting drowsy and put him somewhere quiet for him to drift off.

I did that a lot when staying at my sister's house when my son was younger. Now he's older, he just stays up and when he's tired he comes to me and just sits and drops off on the couch. Or I go earlier.

It's a one-off thing. Is he old enough to be able to stay up a bit later after having an afternoon nap, then you could go back after a few hours? Being in your garden at your house is different as you're in the same building.

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allotherusernamesaretaken · 27/05/2015 00:33

I wouldn't personally. I would sit in my own garden with the monitor but not 2 doors down.

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chumbler · 27/05/2015 05:04

how old is he?

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ejecoms · 27/05/2015 20:02

We had a bad house fire a few months ago which started from a light left on. It was incredible how quickly it spread. I would never leave my children alone in the house now for more than the time it takes to put the bins out.

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Lonelylass1218 · 27/05/2015 20:09

Why not have the bbq in your garden ??

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