Tell me it gets easier(11 Posts)
Ok so I just need a pat on the back and a reassuring virtual hug to tell me it gets easier, I have three dd's, aged 3.9, 17 months and 6 weeks and my it's tough. I don't really enjoy my days at the moment, by the end of the day I'm either in tears or just plain frazzled. 3 yr old cries and tantrums about everything. 17 month old is "spirited" (read into that how you may!) 6week old is an angel bar 5-7pm when she has her witching hour (both previous dd's have had this, totally normal I know but it hits at dinner and bath time) every day I tell myself I will be a better parent, I try to show all of them attention, limit TV, listen to them, not shout (I normally fail this one by 6pm) be consistent etc etc. I cannot have any time to myself as there just isn't time for it. My dh works long hours, he is great at the weekend but the weeks are so long. I'm finding it so tough and I swear I have aged 10 years in the last month. I feel I don't enjoy them enough, feel guilty that I'm not happy enough with them and I just count down the hours until bedtime which gives me about 2 hours where I have to tidy/cook/clean myself before getting to bed early as I'm doing night feeds. Please anyone with three or with small age gaps tell me you felt this and that it gets better??
Ok, I don't have three, only two, with a two year age gap. They're 4 and 2. And this week they have got themselves dressed, twice, without help or me going on at them to hurry up!
It was lovely, and a nice glimpse of the future, when I won't need to be on hand all the live long day. It's coming down the line for you too, I promise!
It gets easier!
I have 4 boys - 6,5,3.8 & 18 months and it is just starting to get easier again.
Strangely I found having 2 aged 3 & 22 months and then having my third more difficult than 4 has ever felt. I suppose it was because (like you) the oldest 2 were still very young and reliant on me and then I had a newborn who also turned into a screaming nightmare between 4pm and 9pm!
These days, even though they're still quite young, the oldest 3 can get themselves dressed, the oldest can get basic food and drinks and share them out and 2 go to school. Notwithstanding the inevitable arguments, they all entertain one another and are a great little gang
My advice? Do whatever you have to do to get through these first weeks without guilt about assistance from TV, iPads or quick meals and it will get easier.
Wow you went for number 4 after having 3?! that is brave! It bodes well for me though that things might get easier. I'm just happy it's the weekend, how comes the more children you have, the longer the weeks feel?! Time for wine.....
Another one here just beginning to feel normal again, only 2 though but both were horrendous sleepers now 2 and 4 ish
I have been closer to the edge and to hurting me, DP, them than I ever thought possible - DP is lovely and really helps, they are lovely in the day mostly even if rubbish in the night but it is so full on. I'll be looking back with rose tinted glasses in a while but right now just glad to have survived the last 2 years!
remember this too is a phase and all things will pass
And second taking the easy route, we live in a tiny apartment but even so we didn't do any housework apart from washing food things and clothes and tidying up spills for 3 months
People can visit now though!
You won't be going for number 3 then FF?! I know what you mean about being pushed to your limit, when my dh is home it is so straight forward, I think, I can do this. By Monday afternoon I'm normally done and thinking.....aaaaahhhhhhhhh! 4 day week this week
You are right in the midst of the hard patch imo OP, I always found the early weeks really tough. It does get easier though!
DH works long hours so some days felt like survival ('all fed, no one dead' was a measure of success at one point). I did (still do) online food shopping and cut every corner I could, Fridays were/are take away or ready meal evenings and I used to make sure we all had enough clothes for the whole week, that way if a wash didn't get put on until the weekend it didn't matter.
You also need a means of escape imo, have you got a double buggy for the older 2 and a sling for the baby so that you can go for a walk if you need to?
I used to dream of the day that all 3 DCs would be able to sit and feed themselves their own breakfast! it came along fast (then I got pg with dc4 so now we are doing it all again!).
Not only did you make it through the tough bit, you also wanted another! I'm not sure I will get to the point of wanting a fourth but I will be happy when baby can stay happy for more than 10 minutes in the evening so that I can get through bath time. Half term is already helping me as not only do I avoid the pre school run and baby isn't being carted here and there, but dd1 is a lot less tired and so a bit more pleasant. Just had a whole tantrum free day.....it was amazing! I don't find getting out too much of a problem as need to for pre school but I rarely see other adults bar the school mums as I'm confined to 3 hour pre school sessions and then it's dd2 nap time and putting in feed times as well it makes it hard to just drop things and go somewhere fun. Still I'm already upset by how quick my new born is growing (and not technically a newborn anymore!) so I shouldn't really wish this time away.........good luck with number 4, everyone will be pleased as people seem quite obsessed with us having an odd number!
We have a 3 year gap between DC3 and 4, that is quite a big gap for us so it took a while for me to be ready again!
DC4 used to wail through dinner bed and bath time too, its like they know just when to do it. Now that he is a bit bigger he will happily bob along to the twirlywoos while I get the others to bed.
Enjoy your half term OP
In some ways it gets easier......then the teenage years hit you.
I only have one and I take my hat off to those of you who opt for more.
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