I hope someone can help reassure me that I am not getting everything totally wrong with my 2.5yo Ds?
I mean in terms of practical things.
I met up with my NCT group recently (who I seldom see cos i always end up coming home and feeling terrible as they're quite competitive mums - but that's a whole other thread!). And I came away from it thinking that me and DH are maybe doing loads of things "wrong"...we certainly seem to be doing things differently from the other NCT families.
I am worried that we are being a bit lazy/slapdash in our parenting and our DS is behind his peers in terms of we still treat him like quite a young baby.
Examples are:
- DS is still in a cotbed (with bars on sides) not a big boy bed. This was greeted with surprise as all their toddlers are in beds.
- we still brush DS's teeth in his bedroom at nighttime and in the lounge in the morning with toothpaste on a dry brush instead of him standing at the sink on a step and brushing his own teeth (apparently what all their kids do)
- me and DH both work long hours and commute into London. DS does 4 days per week at nursery so I always choose his outfit the night before and lay it out downstairs. Then, after breakfast in the morning I change his nappy and get him dressed on the changing mat on the living room floor in front of CBeebies (!) because it's easiest and causes less grief and screaming that way, and maximises our chances of getting out the house on time! I then brush his teeth whilst he sits on my lap and finishes off watching Dinopaws. We then jump in the car to nursery. This got a few raised eyebrows as apparently their kids are all choosing clothes out their wardrobes with them in the morning and getting dressed in their bedrooms like little mini-adults.
- their toddlers (mix of boys and girls) have opinions on what they do and don't wear. My son doesn't seem to give a shit and he never gets to choose anyway cos I lay the outfit out the night before.
- oh and I totally dress him...he helps push his legs in his trousers and can take a t-shirt off over his head if I get his arms out first, but he is nowhere near being able to dress himself.
- all of their kids are potty trained and we haven't even started with DS yet, although am thinking we might give it a try in the next few weeks.
There are loads of other tiny examples but this outlines the kind of things I am worried about...are we letting our son down by "babying" him and taking short cuts to make our lives easier? Should we, at 2.5yo, be making more of an effort to help him "grow up" and do things on his own? Or will he get there in his own time?
As a bit of background I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with ds2 and before I got pregnant was on Citalopram for anxiety and depression. I came off the ADs when i found out I was pregnant and have been coping pretty well without them I think - but these worries are sneaking back in and I cannot tell how much better of it is the sort of unhelpful thoughts that you have with anxiety/depression and how much of it is a legitimate concern that we are not parenting very well.
My son seems happy, gets lots of love, affection, stimulation and play from DH and I and is happy and settled at nursery so he seems fine. It's just there's no manual for being a mum and I am sure I am getting it all wrong :-(
Would appreciate the views of the women on MN...is the above list of parenting activities within the realms of normal with a 2.5yo boy??
Thank you.