Hello OP
First off...
A woman on here once said she was so sleep deprived she tried to breastfeed the duvet.
I once woke up in full panic sat up bolt upright shouting: Where's the baby? Where's the baby?
DH says: She's here, she's here, don't worry
I turn round, look at her, then say quite firmly: That's not my baby!
Lack of sleep will do that to you.
If your dh can do the odd feed, that will really help you. If you sleep while the baby is sleeping likewise. If baby falls asleep with you or sleeps better with you, say in the afternoon, maybe he can keep an eye out , be in the same room but just as an extra pair of eyes.
To make you feel better...my 9 week old fell off the sofa whilst I fell asleep feeding her
Even though she took the duvet with her so landed softly as one could in those circumstances she yelled the place down.
It is not at all likely you dropped your baby and it carried on sleeping or you slept through its cries.
Babies' bodies are more relaxed when asleep, thank God, so maybe less sustainable to damage than when fully alert BUT a big drop fall will mean crying usually...I can only think of one occasion when my baby was so knackered she fell off a day bed and slept face down on the carpet . She was older but not a bump on her so must have landed well.
All three of mine have fallen from a proper bed but at the crawling stage (they are now 13, 4 and 2 if anyone was considering calling social services). Crying was involved not just the babbies and a bump/bruise which means it is less likely this happened to your baby.
When heavily asleep my toddler is fab, I was carrying him up today and knocked him on the door frame by accident and he didn't stir but he is now two.
What I have learnt:
Do some catch up sleep now with dh either being watchguard or doing a feed for you...as you might hit the 'wall' week 6/7 or when there is a growth spurt. Cluster feeding is a nightmare, I remember it well. Have some more
Avoid bf on a sofa. Never did it with dc2 or 3.
Consider temporarily moving a mattress onto the floor making sure no gap between mattress and wall. Did this with a futon mattress with dc3 and coslept. Was excellent and saved my sanity during the first year.
Do make sure if you co-sleep or bf in a bed that your dh is either watching or your baby is completely out of your duvet.
My second one wriggled under the duvet once...that wasn't a dream but I woke up in time fortunately.
After dc1...no sofa feeding. Ever again. after dc2.... no duvets, sleepsac for them and warm pjs for me
dc3...futon mattress on the floor. Got there eventually fortunately with no casualties.
The little sleep sack things the babies have are a Godsend for out the duvet cosleeping and for cot comfort. Babies anyway, as mine got older they spurned the larger ones, no chance of being under duvet or blankies, all three kicked everything off from 18 months.
A side cot next to your bed might work for you or bed rails or bed side buffers, all available on the Internet.
Huge hugs to you. Have been where you are three times. Gets easier by the third the baby stage anyway
There will be at least one fall/accident in the first year. You will cry. You will feel responsible. The whole of mumsnet will tell you it is a rite of passage and hold your hand.
In case you are ever faced with a definite fall scenario...you are watching out for loss of consciousness, vomitting and the best guide ever - their eyes...are the pupils the same size. Any sign of grogginess, being out of it. I use butter on bumps and a cold compress although the latter might not do much acc to some recent research, it makes me feel better. Monitor for two hours (I used to keep mine awake but gp said let them sleep if normal nap time). If still teeny tiny I would of course go to A+E. On the one occasion I did that I was treated with nothing but compassion and sympathy.
Take care of you and try to get a bit of REM sleep even for one night.
All the best
Kindle Xxx