Just a rant really. My ex is such an idiot.

[HetzelNatur]

I don't know why I'm posting this - perhaps reassurance that I'm not overreacting.

He lies about everything - constantly. We stopped the once-a-month visits last month as he was always 'forgetting' or turning up with a huge hangover, or not able to make it for some ridiculous reason so it was pointless.

I said he could still take Ds to see his grandma, which won't be that often, so yesterday he turned up and took Ds for the day.

I barely spoke to him as there was no point but Ds came back quite happy and I knew that he would probably have a nice time.

Ex gets out of the car on their return and comes over, saying to me that he will 'drop off ds's birthday present for the 28th'.

I know this is most likely not going to happen as he always says he will, then forgets or offers a few quid towards whatever I have already bought. or he turns up with nothing, having promised a gift.

Whatever. The point being, Ds's birthday is the 26th. I say 'It's the 26th'.

'Yes', says ex. 'Before the 28th.' As though he knew all along.

Such a wanker. He could at least have admitted he didn't have a fecking clue when ds's birthday is.

Then it transpired his mate took Ds in a sports car round the local area, going very fast indeed, and Ex said 'seriously, do NOT tell your mother'. Which made ds quite upset as he was in a position where he now had to lie to me, or feel like he was telling on his dad.

Great. WIBU to push the guy off a cliff if the opportunity arose?

[Topseyt]

I think it is possibly a man thing (not all men though), not knowing the children's birthdays. My husband always has to ask me whenever a form he is filling in demands our daughters' dates of birth.

I would be very concerned about the boy racer style driving with your son in the car though. That is putting him in serious danger. It would be tempting to suspend the visits again on that basis alone, and your ex is clearly unable to be a responsible parent.

[Enjoyingmycoffee1981]

Two completely separate issues.

Forgetting the birthdate by two days is no big deal at all! And as for him not admitting that he was wrong, I would say that was quite a natural reaction given how wankerish you think it is to get the incorrect birthdate by two days.

The big issue, in fact the absolutely huge issue, is the fact that he has allowed your son to be driven recklessly by someone else. That to me is the deal breaker. And rather than have a rant on mumsnet about it, I would be telling him straight that it can't happen. Ever. Again .

When you say the local area, do you mean on roads or on a track? If the former, that takes it to another level.