Help! Party advice

[Dove79]

My LG is 9 months old and we're now hitting first birthday party season. We have an en masse party this weekend for c15 babies turning one (she's the youngest) and tbh, I'm dreading it. It's not the party itself but the fact that she's relatively immobile so easily gets hit / pushed over by other babies crawling about and isn't capable of moving out of the way / fighting back yet. The last couple of times she has been around one baby in particular, they have accidentally bashed her, leaving her in tears. She's generally a really sociable baby and doesn't cry easily and, tbh, I'm a bit shocked at the strength of 'protective mother' feelings I get when this happens.
Any advice on strategies to help her and me navigate the celebrations without it all ending in tears? Thanks!

[Dove79]

ok, assuming this has never happened to anyone else. Move along, nothing to see here :-)

[FishWithABicycle]

Don't worry - we weren't ignoring you but quite often new threads don't get seen immediately. I'll post a proper reply in a sec.

[FishWithABicycle]

Hi OP. Sorry I saw your post just as I was needed for bathing DC so had to wait a bit more than a sec.

I remember this exact situation from when my crawling and curious 11month old was sometimes a bit too much for the still-immobile 8month old DC of a friend.

The 'protective mother' instincts you are experiencing are normal, but are way out of proportion. Yes your baby might cry if knocked by a passing crawler, but distracted with a new toy it will all be forgotten not long after. Babies are very Zen, they live in now, and don't dwell on what happened a hour ago, let along a week ago. You are probably 20 times more affected than your DD.

It's really not about 'one baby in particular' - a 1yearold cannot be malevolent or mean. This other baby doesn't have a clue that their rampaging about could be hurting another child. That awareness isn't possible to develop yet.

one year olds have no concept of parties or of 'joining in' - a mass 1yearolds party is a celebration for the adults to cheer themselves for surviving the first year of parenthood. It's ok if your 9mo doesn't mix much with the 12mo kids. You can barricade off a corner of the room as a "no crawlers or walkers" zone for DD and any other immobile younger ones, and it won't damage their long term socialisation. In six months time when your DD is mobile it will all seem very different.

Meanwhile - there must be ways for you to also make friends with some parents of babies that are 7 or 8 months old at the moment and who therefore seem less threatening.

[Dove79]

Thanks FWAB, I know this is completely out of proportion - I would normally be giving myself a metaphorical smack around the face and telling myself to get a grip, which I guess is why I find the protective mother feeling quite so shocking. Yes, I know protecting our little ones is instinctive, just wasn't quite prepared for how strong it would be over something so small and, frankly, transient.
It really isn't about one baby in particular - I've just noticed those incidents (and their mother tends to be of the 'look at my baby, aren't they wonderful' variety so my defences are probably up on that front before we start but I will breathe deeply and attempt to enter the Zen-like state my LO will likely be in herself!)
Will look at creating a crawling/walking free zone at the party - although really don't want to separate the babies into 'groups' - LO sees lots of babies, movers and non-movers - I guess I just wish she'd get moving herself so she can stand up for herself. Sure it will all be fine breathes