Co sleeping growth spurt - rod for own back?

[Katekoom]

I tend to only Co sleep with my 10 week old when she's really refusing sleep, just so that i can function the next day.

Ive noticed over the last week or so that shes become very dependent on boob for sleep. She's always fed to sleep.

So i decided to change this.

She was doing 5-8 hour stretches at night but suddenly is doing 1 hour intervals and its killer!!

She wants to feed at each waking and seems pretty hungry at first, she's also mega fussy all day, so I'm thinking growth spurt.

My question is this: im planning on holding off on trying to change her sleep association until she's less fractious, should i stop bringing her into bed with me now anyway?

She comes in if I've tried to put her down 3 times for example with no success. Last night i was so exhausted i felt i would drop her if i didn't stop. I'm very conscious that when co-sleeping she has my nipple in her mouth almost constantly. Am i making a rod for my own back? Or is a week of co-sleeping whilst she's fussy not going to make everything so much harder?

Thanks for your opinions. I can't think straight!

[PlumFairy2014]

At 10 weeks I wouldn't worry! Bf can be tough early on and I honestly couldn't have done it if I was up and down all night to a cot. I've got a cot attached to my bed, so we co-sleep with enough room. LO still wakes to eat, but will go down on her cot afterwards without the fuss like when she was 10 weeks. She now doesn't need feeding to sleep, but I usually do it for ease or feed and put her down almost asleep.

My LO still has nights when she wants to eat a lot (I just roll with her habits now), but will also have nights when she'll sleep longer (last night was not one of them!). I find she sleeps better closer and I am less exhausted on a bad night.

I'm no expert though, this is just what works for me. I think of co-sleeping is working and you're doing it safely then all is good.

And congratulations on your little bundle!

[PlumFairy2014]

Also my sister co-slept and at 6 and 3 her children are sleeping through in their own beds. Not that I'm wishing time away....

[Katekoom]

PlumFairy how old is your LO?

Part of me does think 'to hell with it, I'll do anything just to cope' but my hv has warned me off Co sleeping and said i should leave her to cry so now i feel pressured to DO something when a i really want is peace.

Though i dont want her Co sleeping indefinitely, so im keen to avoid a 'bad' habit

[PlumFairy2014]

She is nearly 5 months! Still 4 in my head.

Hv all say something different. Your hv sounds awful. I know it's up to the individual, but I wouldn't ever leave such a small baby to cry. It's the only way they can communicate. My hv detests controlled crying and it was a midwife who told me at 5 days (when absolutely exhausted) to just co-sleep!

I used to feel pressure to change my ways, but after meeting Mums who had co-slept, fed to sleep etc and had happy independent toddlers I decided to do what I felt was right for us. La Leche League have a book called 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' which reassured me greatly as to why all these things are totally normal!

[PlumFairy2014]

I will add hv aren't allowed to promote co-sleeping. You should make sure you're following the safety guidelines, eg not drinking/smoking etc.

[tinfoilhat]

I would echo what everyone has said, good advice.
Go with your gut, do whatever helps you and baby. You will not make a rod for your own back!
Congratulations!

[Strawberrybubblegum]

I agree with plum fairy that you should just go with what works for you at this stage. She is still so tiny: habits only take a few days to make and break at this age. In any case, the main thing that makes it hard for her to be without you at this age isn't habit, it's her strong natural instinct to be safely cuddled up with mum! That will still be the case in a few weeks or months, so I would say that it's up to you whether you spend the next weeks/months fighting that instinct (perhaps the right thing for you if you hate the idea of cosleeping) or whether you go with her preferences now and cosleep, and then later have a couple of days of it being a bit harder to break the habit part of why she doesn't want to sleep alone (but to be honest, probably not much harder than doing it now).

My DD is 2 now, and it still makes me cross what nonsense people spouted about what she 'should' be doing when she was 6-8 weeks old. And I still remember the day I tried to follow the advice to let her cry.

I didn't cosleep when she was tiny. I kind of wish I had, since it would have been lovely and cosy, and we would both have got more sleep. Instead I followed the advice that I shouldn't form the habit. I still had to do sleep training at about 11 months - which was the right thing for us at the time (and also not as awful as I expected, because she was older and ready for it).

Now I cosleep with DD when she's unwell or very unsettled. Also when we visit family. She always settles easily back into sleeping happily in her own bed when she is better /we get home.

The thing about sleep is that it isn't something you do once and then is set in stone. Even friends of mine whose babies slept through early still had trouble during the sleep regressions (sleep is often bad for about a month at 4 months and again at 9 months) No matter what you do, things will change and you'll adjust what you do. So, go with what seems right for you and your family. And then change it when it no longer works. And enjoy lovely cuddles with your daughter