Play date meltdowns - help!

[Failedspinster]

DS1 aged 2 and 10 months hosted his first play date today, with a friend who is the same age. I met friend's mum quite recently; we are getting to be friends but it is still in the very early stages.

DS1's friend was very good for most of the time she was here. DS1, on the other hand, struggled with sharing his toys, and although he played nicely for some of the time, had several meltdowns, which I had to manage. He is a very strong-willed child and I have struggled to gain a social circle since becoming a parent - we are only just starting to socialise now. His friend, in contrast, has been part of a strong social circle since she was born, and is a lot more used to give and take.

I'm really worried that friend's mum won't want to bring friend to play here again after today. I texted her afterwards to say how much we had enjoyed having them and apologising for DS1's moods. I haven't heard back though and naturally now I'm making a big deal of it all in my overactive brain. I keep wondering whether I didn't manage his behaviour well enough and maybe inadvertently pissed off friend's mum. She probably thinks he's a brat. I really want him to have friends and learn social skills and I know that practice is the only way to improve - but I'm worried now that I might have lost a friend! Help!

[Griffomais]

Try not to worry about it - all Mums go through it and nobody's child is an angel all of the time. I'm quite sure your friend has maybe just been busy and not been able to text you back. Your DS is completely normal and just testing the boundaries. I hope you hear back from your friend and schedule another play date soon. You'll probably get an invitation from your friend very soon. Take care and don't be so hard on yourself.

[WipsGlitter]

This is why I still hate playdates. He is still very young, at that age I would suggest meeting at the park.

[TheFantasticFixit]

He's 2.10! Honestly, this is so normal i cant tell you. Dd1 is a lovely little thing but can be a total BEAST on the 'it's MINE' front. The more they socialise the slightly easier it gets but to be honest, the only thing that will really change it is age and maturity of their developing brains to understand the social norm of 'sharing'. Toddlers are territorial terrorists! My friend and i basically let them scrap it out and swig wine to get through the playdates these days

[tobytoes]

My little girl is the same age as your little boy and she has had a little boy friend since she was born, they know each other very well but they still have their moments. Just last week it was my daughter causing all the upset, not sharing her toys etc but the week before is was him so I wouldn't worry about you littlen, he sounds normal to me. I don't have loads of friends either, just this one in fact.

[TranquilityofSolitude]

I think they're usually worse on their own territory - if you go to their house next time you might find the situation is reversed!

[babyfedleaning]

Definitely worse and more possessive on their own territory. Try another playdate at their house and witness the meltdowns in reverse! Try not to worry either. Some are more 'spirited' than others

[NancyRaygun]

YY they are always worst at home. Playdates are really a "take it in turns to have to apologise about your child's behaviour!" - try to laugh and be non judgemental about it early on with your friend and then I promise the next few years will be far easier.

[toddlewaddleflipflop]

Normal! I found it best to plan some structured activities they can do side by side (I.e. Not having to share) like playdough/sticking/making snacks like fruit on sticks or dipping stuff in chocolate and if something got heated while playing with toys then to quickly move to one of these. Id alternate planned stuff with toys/free play the whole play date. Set stuff up on separate trays so all the prep is done. We were in the same situation with having few friends, and it worked. Hard work, though, but possibly easier than constant tantrums. Good luck!

[waterrat]

Completely normal you are over thinking! My son is same age - always worse in our house an he probably appears angelic in other houses. I am ambivalent about play dates - not sure kids really enjoy them at this age it's very hit and miss and it's natural they find it stressful

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

He's only 2 years old though OP. He's not at the development stage when he can share...and the thing about sharing is your sons toys are his property. They belong to him. How would like it if someone came into your home and wanted to share your property
Stop being so hard on yourself. What he is displaying is perfectly natural behavior for a 2 year old