When time out doesn't work ....

[candide]

I know that this has probably been covered in loads of other naughty step/ 4 year old discipline threads but I can't seem to find the exact answer to my question.
I would dearly like to use Time Out as a form of discipline for my son (4) but I just can't seem to get it to work.He will not stay on step or in room unless I resort to man handling him in there and holding door shut, which seems to be more like imprisonment to me than Time Out.
All the books I read seem to suggest that you can calmly return your child to the Time Out position but this is not my experience.

How have other people got it to work for them?

[candide]

Thanks SB. We do use toy confiscation sometimes but maybe I should clarify a bit why I want to use time out.

The particular circumstance I'm thinking of is when DS gets very over excited, particularly when friends are round to play, and then he starts being very shouty & silly and doing a plethora of naughty things (hitting/ throwing/ name calling).

In those circumstances I really wanted to use time out as a way to get him to calm down a bit.

Any ideas anyone both re time out generally and re time out to calm down specifically?

[sydneygirl]

Time out time used to work. Now DS just pees on the floor of his bedroom...and of course I rise to the bait every time.

Just hearing the singsong voice "Mummy, I've peed...." makes me want to weep!

[candide]

Yup we've had that tactic - DS has never actually weed on floor but often claims he is desperate to go to loo and always manages to squeeze something out when he gets there

[Pitchounette]

Message withdrawn

[lottymadbird]

Have you tried the holding technique if you just want him to calm down?

[candide]

what's the holding technique?

Also, pitchounettee - how do you a) get your child into corridor & b) keep him there? My DS just opens the door of his bedroom these days and getting him into it involves a wrestling match.

Has anybody persevered with time out a la Supernanny etc and had a miraculaous breakthrough or is that just TV progs?

[lottymadbird]

Holding technique is basically you kneel or sit on the floor with your child. He has his back to you and you basically try and wedge him between your legs and then hold him tightly with his arms crossed over so he can't flail his arms around. Talk to him calmly explaining why you are doing it. Eg. Calm down, calm down, you don't throw toys... we'll stay here for x minutes until you calm down etc. Its like the time out thing but in a safer environment for children who react to time out by being destructive.