feeling smug today

[3andnomore]

welllllll...long story really, but in short, when we moved here I started to take my younger 2 sons to a local m&T group, and ms was at the time aproaching 3...he was a utter nightmare, rough, tumbly, boystrous, tantruming toddler and just a horror a lot of the time...my aproach in general, when I can stay calm enough is to warn ds and then do the countdown and follow up whatever i said....had a few fallouts about this with some other moms who ds "hurt" in the progress, was even told that my ms obviously has behaviriouls problems (somehting his nursery has lauhged at)....anyway, have, since he started his 5 paid sessions a week in Nursery in January, not taken him to said M&T...took him today though, he is almost 4 and now he is all in all well enough behaved, still boystrous but not basty etc...and obviously now some of those goody two shoes children are right lil horrors...just could not stop myself today but feeling smug about it, because I said all along it;s a phase and smacking and being afgressive will not change this....and even some of the gentler older Kids (well, ms age) are now getting naughtier ebcause they didn't go through this naughty phase at a younger age....now, I know I still have all this to come with ys, but it made me feel good that ms actually was the wellbehaved one today, after all the "crap" we got at the time!

[Amaretto]

Well done!!!
It is so easy to loose sight that they are not 'naughty' just for the sake of it or to wind us up isn't it?
I am trying a similar approach with ds1 and not shouting! So far so good and I hope that, seeing me talking and not shouting, he will stop shouting too.
Carry on the good work!

[Donbean]

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you seen my thread "when other people shout at your child in front of you"?
(cant do links sorry)
I wish you had posted your smug thread when i started mine as i was about to take him to the Drs thinking that he had behavioural problems because other people told me so!
Thanks 3andmore you have truly warmed the cockles of my heart with your smugness because that will be me in a year or so

[3andnomore]

Amaretto, yeah I think it's best to try to stay calm...not saying I am always calm, lol! I have my moments more then I like, lol! But I always realise that it isn't getting me anywhere! I shouldn't really feel smug, because ys is 2 now, so, he will probably be just as bad, soon, but well, at least they ahve seen him being that good Baby and will not be so nasty if he turns bad for a while...because surely they now realsie that it can just be a phase independent of how you deal with it, as long as you do deal with it, lol...iykwim!
Donbean...honestly there is light at the end of the tunnel...it is really stressful though when other people constantly lay into you, and I had some serious falling out with some of the moms (living in a rough area could account to some of that, lol)....but was sooo shocked that they considered him that bad...especially as, even though he is energetic and always has been, he was really on his worst ever behaviour whenever we would get there, and I think it was partly to do with him being labelled a troublemaker, me stressing out about it whilest other Kids got away with murder, just because their mums took the "appropriate" (in their eyes) action...shouting smacking, etc....! Anyway, it is a phase, and it will get better