Am i expecting too much for a 16 mth old????

[outinthesticksmummy]

I wonder if i could ask for your opinions??

My DD is just about 16mths old and is an absolute delight most of the time, she runs around waving and grinning at people saying "hello", she can play by herself well, has a great sense of humour BUT she is VERY determined.

Since she turned a year old and started walking she has been throwing some real tantrums, where she throws herself backwards then holds her breath, turns blue and on one occasion she passed out!!!! which i have since learned is completly normal usually these episodes involve doorways - she wants to go in out constantly.

We have a huge completly safe garden and have always let her have the run of that fairly independantly without many restrictions , maybe we have just made our own bed??

I try really hard to distract her, but when she has a goal in her mind she won't stop until she's achieved it.

We went to birthday party today for a group of 6 yr olds and was wonderfully behaved for the first hour - running around playing with the balloons and bubbles and being her normal smiley self, however when the food was served she beagan to loose interest and decided to start running out the room to play in the main cafe section, i let her for a while cos thought she was just too young to sit at the table, however when they all got down and i tried to take her back in she had a paddy, all the mothers kept giving me pitying looks . I think she did really well at 16mths old lasting the first hour, but am a bit worried that ia m letting her have her own way too much and causing these tantrums.

Any thoughts???or tips as i don't want a spoilt 2/3yr old that i can't take anywhere??

thanks

[FillyjonkthePumpkinEater]

at 16m this is completely normal

and i think she did well to last the hour! my 15 mo wouldnt!

she sounds fine and lovely.

[outinthesticksmummy]

thankyou so much for replying, i suspected as much but all the children we mix with are either older or more placid!!

Her temper just shocks me sometimes - guess things will ease a bit when she can say more words???

[fransmom]

just an idea but have you thought about taking her to baby signing classes? it might help her communicate a bit more. there is also a programme on cbeebies called something special which helps ld children learn makaton (something similar to sign language but some of the signs are slightly different). your child doesn't have to have ld to enjoy watching it. i watch it too !

[christie1]

completely normal at that age. Just remove her when she tantrums, she is too tired to be there or too over stimulated. Take her to a quiet room, read a book to her, and let her calm down. Or just take her home, I think she did well lasting an hour, god I feel liking a tantrum after an hour at a kids birthday party!

[christie1]

forgot to add, her temper will ease. My angel just came out a vicious tantrum stage, head back screaming, laying on the floor etc. You can't really reason at that age, just pick her up and take her out. my dd is almost 2 now, talks alot and never tantrums now. This too shall pass.

[staceym11]

as someone else suggested, signing classes might be good, or just teaching her some yourself (doesnt matter if they are 'correct' its only you and those close that need to understand them........it could be frustration as she doesnt understand what you are telling her or cant communicate how she is feeling.

another thing is give her timed warnings 'you have to go back in in 3 minutes', etc till its time to do something, my dd always had a problem with a sudden change of activity, especially if she was wrapped up in something else so count downs were brilliant!

[Peggotty]

Aww..she sounds lovely, and completely normal! You are letting her explore the world without constant restrictions, what better way to bring up your child? There's ALWAYS going to be other mother;s around to 'give you pitying looks' - ignore them!!!

[3andnomore]

Your child sounds lovely gorgeous and completely normal...those mums may just have fogotten about toddlersand what they are like....I know O sort of had, I had a 6 1/2 year agegap with ds1 and 2. lol...and even though ds2 was probably even easier then ds 1 it felt difficult, lol, especailly when ds 3 arrived 21 month later, lol!

[Amaretto]

You said it, you have a strong willed child... She will probably have a lot of tanrums and big ones too... Just totally normal.
Re 'the mothers kept giving me pitying looks ', I think they have forgotten how a 16 months old behave!!

[incy]

outinthe sticksmummy your DD sounds lovely - determined, outgoing and strong minded which will do her well in life. I have a 23 month old and he is very similar in personality (esp. the wanting to go outside doorway tantrums!). He has improved tantrum- wise since speaking more and I suspect your lovely daughter will be the same. Ignore other parents - every child is different and placid/shy children bring their own problems - your little girl is smiley and sociable and can last 1 hour at a birthday party (surely a miracle at 16 months!).I think she sounds an absolute joy - just the same as my DS and I wouldn't change him (and his mega tantrums) for the world. Big hug and ignore the 'parent police.'