5 year old not telling the truth - how to deal with it

(10 Posts)
emkana Fri 06-Oct-06 20:11:14

It's not about major things but still I want her to realize that it is wrong to lie. We've talked about it several times and she always promises not to do it again, but then does it again...
I'm really cross with her atm because she's done it three times in two days now.

soapbox Fri 06-Oct-06 20:12:46

It is normal at this age, I think. They start to daydream and mix it up with RL. A bit like MN really

emkana Fri 06-Oct-06 20:13:40

Yes but it feels wrong to just let it go...

sorrell Fri 06-Oct-06 20:16:32

I would. Or say, 'well that is a lovely story! How funny!'

soapbox Fri 06-Oct-06 20:17:17

It depends what it is about.

If it is relatively minor lies, then I just used to say 'I think that is what you would liked to have happened, but it didn;t, did it?' Followed up by a 'Mummy finds it hard to be a good mummy to you, if she's not sure what is true and what isn't!'.

I think catching them out and them aknowledging that you have, is enough, unless it is a biggie

emkana Fri 06-Oct-06 20:18:35

It's things like saying she's done stuff when she obviously hasn't for example though, so not story-telling as such.
For example yesterday she was telling me she had tidied up when she obviously hadn't.

sorrell Fri 06-Oct-06 20:23:32

I think that's totally normal. Never told a white lie at work yourself ('the report? yes, it's underway! Nearly done now!' 'Sorry, didn't get your message, my email's been down' etc)?
Little ones lie so transparently I find it rather touching. Just say, 'Then what's all this mess then? Did the fairies bring it? Come on, let's get it really tidied'. Not worth a row (I assume your daughter is under five, not a teenager!)

TwigTwoolett Fri 06-Oct-06 20:27:44

I talk to DS about making choices .. about the fact that he can choose to do the right thing or choose to do the wrong thing

in my book telling untruths and then repeating them when challenged is the wrong choice to make

luckily DS is transparent when he lies, and he doesn't do it very often but I always talk to him about choices

TwigTwoolett Fri 06-Oct-06 20:29:24

I think you have to start teaching them right from wrong now and it is they who make the choice ... and not you .. they make the choice to do the right or wrong thing .. and they get praise for choosing to tell the truth even after having lied

I think this is fundamental to parenting at this challenging stage .. not letting it pass unchallenged TBH

WideWebWitch Fri 06-Oct-06 20:29:55

Agree, it's normal. Don't make a big deal of it or she'll do it to get a reaction.

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