How long would you let a 6 week old cry?

[crayon]

I have a very lovely six week old, but he does tend to cry when awake at the moment and I have a 3 and 5 year old too and a husband who is often away.

At this time of night, I need to do suppers, bath etc and even though I have simplified life as much as possible so I only do the bare necessity, I struggle to get things done. It's no good saying bath them in the morning etc because he cries before school too, so that's not an option.

I tend to pick him up for a bit, plonk him down to cry while I do a quick job and then pick him up again. I have a sling, but I can't do many jobs when he is in that, and am scared of hurting him with boiling water or saucepans!

How long do/would you find acceptable to leave a baby crying? A few mins must seem like an age to him.

Thanks in advance.

Crayon

[LucyJones]

I've got a 3 week old and a toddler and find meal times dd's crying time. Have you thought about a dummy? It seems to be the only thing that works for us at the moment

[nailpolish]

crayon, when yoy have other children you HAVE to just let them cry while you see to other important things (i didnt say more important, just important)

as long as they are safe, not in pain, or similar, then there is nothing you can do as you feed/bath you rohter children

its just part of family life

ideally we wouldnt leave a 6 week old to cry longer than a minute or so but its just family life

dont beat yourself up about it

[crayon]

He won't take a dummy!

Thanks though.

C

[nailpolish]

both my dd's had comforters

an old tee shirt that stank of my breastmilk

and i used to carry them around in a simple bouncy chair that had straps - sat in bathroom as i bathed other children, on the floor as i mad ethe tea

helped a bit

[Lio]

If you really want an answer in minutes I've left it as long as 15/20 minutes if first child needed my attention or I was in the shower and didn't know it was happening. However, I'm sure this is loads more than anyone else here would go to and may well be crapped on in a minute...

[zippitippitoes]

will he go in a bouncing cradle chair, you can take that in the bathroom with you

[misdee]

i introduced them to a blanket at birth (my before birth tip is to put a baby blanket in your bed for a few nights so it picks up your smell, and use the blanket from when they are born to swaddle in.) i found that helped comfort the baby. also if your older children are old enoughy, then ask them to talk to the baby whilst u get on with jobs.

[expatinscotland]

I carried DD2 around in a sling. She was a really clingy baby and, like you, we had an older child.

Try not to beat yourself up!

Try to get the 5-year-old and 3-year-old to help out as much as possible - fetching nappies, etc.

I second the bouncy chair, too. Just move them from room to room w/you.

Let's face it, sometimes they have to cry b/c the older ones have needs, too.

[bakedpotatooooowoooh]

this is a wonderful thing

[TwigTwoolett]

sounds like you're doing fine crayon

[crayon]

Thanks for all your ideas.

He has an all singing, all dancing bouncy chair, but until this week, hasn't liked it much. It kept him happy for a while tonight though.

As for a t-shirt smelling of breastmilk Nailpolish, I guess that's any of my clothes at the moment then, as he's up-chucked on most of them and the laundry basket is reaching the ceiling!!

Hadn't thought of a me-smelling blanket (these are all the things I read about after I have had a baby and think 'I'll try that next time' and then forget.

I guess No 2 & 3 babies just have to wait really. I hated doing it with DS2 as well, but it's even harder this time, with even more to do.

Thanks again all.

Crayon

[lulunaticmama]

swaddle , dummy if he'll take it and i found 10 minutes was bearable....

[Hideehi]

I tend to make the older ones wait not the baby or make sure they are fed and asleep before even attempting cooking.

[Toady]

My DS3 is exactly the same, always has been and he is now 9 months old, I carry him all the time, when he was younger and I had to put him down I would put him in his chair or carseat right up beside me with something that smelled of me, that only kept him happy for 5 mins or so.

Now I put him in a travel cot beside me while I do the ironing etc and he stands up with his head over the cot crying at me , cant bear it for more than 5 mins.

I feel guilty with DS1 and DD2 so I just end up sat on the sofa cuddling all three of them , obviously nothing gets done.

Seriously though you sound like you are doing alright and hopefully it will get a bit easier as he gets older.

[kbaby]

hi i have a 9 week old and a 2.4 yr old. the baby cries constantly unless being held. i hate the sling as you still cant do much wearing it either. i tend to leave ds cry , then pick him up for a bit and then leave him to cry etc. its the only way you can get anything done as dd needs changing and dinner etc.

[Hideehi]

kbaby have you tried other slings ?

[Enid]

crayon

I have a 5 month old and 2 others, I have left her to cry for up to about 20 mins when I have to attend to the other kids

its horrible but necessary sometimes

[bouncingbaby]

i used a dummy with my second and i found that she wouldnt take any of the orthadontic style ones but loved a cherry teat dummy, much easier for them to keep in the mouth, and if you dont want him getting attached to a dummy just dont let him sleep with it, keep it just for calming him a bit in the day. when my second got to about 9 weeks, she was a lot happier for longer so i gradually fazed out the dummy and now at fifteen weeks she doesnt have one at all....do you have a play gym? also have you seen those toy dogs that if you press the button on the foot they dance and sing a tune like singing in the rain or new york new york...lay baby under playgym and put the dog near by then set him playing and it kept my second very happy for a while.

img140.imageshack.us/img140/8770/catdogsjenniethtq9.jpg thats the link to see the dogs i am on about!

[CorpseBride]

I've also left babies to cry for 20 minutes, or more, when attending older children. Not ideal but necessary.

The hardest thing about having more than one child is learning to juggle. You really can't keep everyone happy all of the time. But you will find a balance. It's an equal concern that spending all your time with a crying baby will really pee your older children off!

Btw, it will settle down and lo will enjoy watching it's sibs eat, bath etc.

[kitbit]

Slings, slings and more slings! Can't do without it! I only have 1 ds (so have nooooo idea what you're trying to cope with and am full of admiration) but ds was/is v clingy and was happiest when being carried about so it was and is a lifesaver. There are loads of styles, have a look on the web. bigmamaslings.com (or is it co.uk) even rents them out so you can try before you buy, and ebay is a great source.

Do you get the idea that slings worked for us??! Good luck, sounds like you're doing a superb job.

[Mercedes519]

6 week old DS is crying right now and has been for 10 minutes. And I'm not even ignoring him!

[inmyopinion]

hello crayon, i have a 6 week old too, my only child though so i expect you find it ten times harder but i have been asking the same thing.i cant seem to get anything done yet cant stand to let her cry very long.i have heard such differing stories..if you pick them up all the time they become spoilt and know you are always going to pick them up if they cry and on the other hand that they become insecure and lack confidence in later life if you dont...

[lulu24]

I have two children the youngest is now 9 months. It really doesn't do them any harm to let them cry for a bit especially if you have other children. My baby cried constantly for the first 6 weeks but I just could not run to him every time as I had a toddler that needed my attention too. He soon learnt to settle himself, he does not need a dummy etc and has slept solidly through the night for at least 12 hours since he was nine weeks old. I promise you it will get easier!! My little baby is the happiest most content baby I have ever known now!!

[claireh11]

has anyone tried a baby musical swing? - my ds loved his as a baby with a cuddly blanket on him. Even though they say from newborn some dont have head huggers so used to use the one from his bouncy chair in it - it was a life saver whilst i was cooking etc. HTH

[katiebirdie]

I try not to let my 9 week ds cry longer than possible although sometimeshe just has to wait longer than he or I would like(ie if he wakes up while am in the bathroom.

inmyopinion, dont listen to the people who tell you they will beocme "spoilt" you cant spoil a tiny baby. well i hope you cant or mine is completely ruined!