Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

1 2

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

the woes of my Footballer son

33 replies

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 20:49

ds used to pay for a team and he was one of the best players. Always on , always getting Man of the match. Ev eryone said he had real talent.

he has now joined a more competative team and he rarely goes on. Maybe 10 mins in a match. he is put on in a position that he is not comfortable with.

I have spoken to the coach and he says that he has his team and they have been with him since they were 7. he does not want to risk taking one off in ds's position as he does not need to.

DS says he does not want to play for them anymore. he can play at school.

Trouble is we always thought ds was really good and had potential...this is what we were led to believe

OP posts:

Report

Mateychops · 04/10/2006 21:05

Just out of interest, why did you change team?

TenaLady · 04/10/2006 21:07

If the motivation isnt there, then its best to drop it as disappointing as it seems especially when you see talent.
He may return to it.

southeastastralplain · 04/10/2006 21:08

my son played for a while and was good, then another boy joined who played the same position, it made my son sort of lose heart in it and he left. (they sort of took turns). i suppose the manager wants to keep the team he has (but with subs!). can you go back to the other team?

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:11

sadly thte other team has disbanded.

He said that if ds had come in and been absolutly amazing he would have played him straight away but he see not reason to do that as he has a good mid field and defence. DH, does not agree, he reckons the midfield is not particulalry brilliant.

Not sure if we should really encourage ds to work at it but am worried that if he does, he may still not be inf avour

OP posts:

Frizombie · 04/10/2006 21:13

Can you swap to another team nearby??

southeastastralplain · 04/10/2006 21:13

it's one of those that can really get to you. it seems unfair not to play him. how old is he?

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:17

there is no team nearby. he can play at school but their main sport if=s Rugby.

it does get to him and us.

He has the added problem of having two brothers who are choirsters so have very busy lives. Football was always ds2 'thing', it was his special thing

Now he jsut says why should I bother if they only put me on for 10 mins

OP posts:

PretendFriend · 04/10/2006 21:19

Your average kids' team manager does it for the benefit of his own son (assume your manager has a son in the team...?)

Also they do it their way - it really isn't possible to interfere, however crap they are. Our DS's manager thinks making his son Player of the Year and bollocking the rest of them will make them play better

If you don't like the way he does it all you can do is start your own team and run it your way.

southeastastralplain · 04/10/2006 21:20

the manager's son was in our team too pf and always seemed to win player of the year!

Mateychops · 04/10/2006 21:22

DS is in a football club, and DH is coach. The reason why they both got involved was that there was no competition at school, and we thought it was important for DS to know about team play, winning, losing, etc. DS is not brilliant, and his team regularly get beaten. But they do have a good laugh, and it's building their self-esteem and teaching them some important life lessons.

I wouldn't worry too much about his talent at this stage, but maybe get DH to suggest another position for DS, and help coach him in the park/garden on a one-to-one to help build DS confidence. But, at the end of the day, if he doesn't want to play, don't worry too much, there may be other sports he will excel in. Unlike football, life is not a game of two halfs....I'm changing my nickname to AlexFerguson. I'm vewy, vewy pwoud....

Mateychops · 04/10/2006 21:24

...and after reading those last posts, my DS never gets player of the game, month or year from DH. They're not all bad! Trust me, he's also got to deal with some real histronics, and that can just be the mothers!

PretendFriend · 04/10/2006 21:27

My DH did run a team for several years and he didn't make our DS (different DS) player of the year - in fact the joke between them was that he called him "sub - er - son". The lads in that team had a great time and still respect DH and enjoy chatting to him when they see him.

However the fact remains that most teams are run by a dad for the benefit of his own son, and as there is a hell of a lot of admin and time involved you either go along with it or branch out on your own.

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:31

gawd am not running my own team.

he plays at school
he plays rugby three times a week as well

He is a good sportsman

Yes the trainer has a son in the team and he is never off!

Dh already mentioned he should not play up front but coach says tough

OP posts:

marthamoo · 04/10/2006 21:38

This is the coach with the unique line in pep talks, yes? He sounds even more of an @rse than he did before.

If it's any consolation (probably not) ds1 is footie-mad, really keen (and I don't think he's a bad player either) - and came home at the start of this academic year saying he'd put his name down for the school team and would be having trials. I can't tell you how pleased I was - he never, and I mean never, puts himself forward for anything - he is terrifically shy. I knew how much he must have wanted to be on the team to put his name down.

Came home 2 days later - trials never materialised, the team remains static - mostly year 6s (he is year 5) and the school coach chose three new children from ds1's year to make up the numbers. Completely arbitrarily, it seems - no try outs at all. He was so very, very sad and I was livid.

I think football sucks.

If we were closer to you, beety, we could start a Mumsnet team.

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:40

Moo - yes you have go the man!!

Oh a mumsnet team woudl be great!

OP posts:

Mateychops · 04/10/2006 21:41

Well, I know it's not much help, but at least he is on for 10 minutes. Hopefully, this will build up once the coach sees how well he plays and fits in with the team. If he's a pretty competitive coach, he'll want to play his best players. If not, he's a bit of an ar$e.

PretendFriend · 04/10/2006 21:42

Most of them are ar$es though, at this level - fact of life

southeastastralplain · 04/10/2006 21:43

this is quite sad really isn't it.

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:44

Yes he says he wants to play his best players

OP posts:

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:44

yes I find it really sad.

OP posts:

marthamoo · 04/10/2006 21:48

About the time ds1 didn't get on the school team, I got the Mumsnet email with the "In the News" section. They'd included a story about a woman down south somewhere who'd drugged all the other ponies in her son's gymkhana so he'd have a better chance of winning.

I had real empathy with that woman

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:50

omg, that is what I should do

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Mateychops · 04/10/2006 21:54

You mean there's HORSES playing football???? That's just cruel.

Beetroot · 04/10/2006 21:55

dont they do that near you Matey?

OP posts:

dinosaur · 04/10/2006 21:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.