"go away daddy" phase - best way to handle?

[flipflopsonfifthavenue]

DS is 2.3yo and I've just started maternity leave, due in 10 days. Usually I leave the house before 7am and DP does the nursery drop off, and is generally the one who is around in the mornings.

Since I've been off work, I'm obviously around a lot more. Having said that, due to impending birth and general late pregnancy, I've stopped going into DS if he wakes in the night, and DP goes in now, and goes to get him in the morning when he wakes. DS is perfectly happy with this - although it took him a few days to get used to it. DP usually brings him into our bed, and we either have cuddles, or sometimes he goes back to sleep again for an hour or so which is great!

Last few days DS has become very clingy to me, and has started a lot of pushing DP away, with lots of "go away daddy" etc. Everything is "NO DADDY!" and "Mummy do it" etc.

I know that this is probably very normal, so we're not worried as such, and are trying to deal with any hitting/pushing etc separately from the "go away daddy", but I wondered if people ever say things like "that's not nice/that's upsetting to Daddy/Daddy is just trying to help" etc or if that makes it worse? As in it makes the toddler feel guilty/naughty for something that is in fact just normal development?

Should we try to teach him not to 'upset' DP or just deal with the pushing etc and ignore the other stuff?

Once baby comes, DP will be spending a lot of time with DS I guess, so it's either going to get better...or worse..!

[Thehedgehogsong]

My 4yo DD has been like this for a couple of years! Now she's older I have told her it's not kind to hurt daddy's feelings. When she was 2 that wouldn't have had any effect, but I would say she could have me but I wanted daddy too so he was still with us.

[KatyN]

My chap is nearly 3 and we tend to say 'sorry but you've got me now'. Then we explain that daddy/mummy is doing something else like making dinner etc.
occasionally he'll say he doesn't like one of us but we don't respond to that.

at 2 they are only just learni other people have thoughts and feelings so maybe saying daddy is sad won,t work.

Good luck with your mw arrival!

[Picklesauage]

We have had periods of this, but the best solution to this has been insisting on some daddy activities. We would occasionally insist on a cuddle and give time out if nog. We tried to remind ourselves that it was simply another form of manipulation and behaviour. Just like refusing to share or deliberately ignoring us.

We also had times when DD wanted me to come and play I would refuse but daddy would go and play, making me the 'bad guy' for a while.

[LittlePink]

With DD, whos 2.4 yrs, its the other way around. Its mummy go away, daddy do it. She went through a really bad phase of it a couple of months back but we know now what she likes daddy to do and just let it be. She likes him to make her dinner, run her bath, read the bedtime stories but it has to be me that puts her to bed. If I disappear I hear her say "wheres mummy? Mummy put me to bed". It was hurtful to begin with when she was saying no daddy do it, go away mummy but she seems to have a thing for men doing things for her. Shes the same with her grandparents, granddad has to do everything and nanny is told not to do it. We just laugh it off like shes got all the men wrapped round her little finger and bosses them all around. God help men when shes older!

I think ignoring it is probably the best thing to do. Since ive stopped saying "mummys sad now. Mummy feels upset" shes calmed down on it. Think she liked the power of making people feel things. She would say "3,2,1 mummy cry!" and wait for me to look sad. Its all control, pure and utter control on their part. Ignore!