8yr old DS won't have his toenails cut

[donniemurdo]

Wondering if anyone has any advice? He's never liked having his toenails done but we used to be able to manage it with a bit of bribery (sweet for each nail) or distraction using an iPad but these aren't working either. He doesn't like his toes to be touched and just pulls his feet away or kicks out if we go near. He says it hurts even before we get anywhere near his toes.

We've tried:
Bribery
Distraction
Nail scissors rather than clippers
Him doing it himself
Him tearing or biting the nail
Doing it after a bath
Doing it in his sleep (he wakes up as soon as the duvet is moved)

They are getting too long and I'm worried that they will start hurting him and I think he'll be even less likely to let us near them it he is in pain already.

What can we do?

[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle]

My 2 yo hates having her toenails cut so we left them and when they got long enough, they started digging into her foot when she put her socks on. I explained why it was happening and then she let me cut them. It was infinitely easier that arguing with her about it!

[donniemurdo]

Thanks TMNT, I'm torn between doing just that or worrying that it will make it worse if he's in pain. We've explained to him what happens if he doesn't get them cut and he says that he doesn't want that and will let us cut them, but when we try he just pulls away and won't let us. Maybe we just need to not mention it and see what happens - take the pressure off and either they will break off themselves or will start to dig in and maybe he'll let us do something about them.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Tbh I'd say 'it's your choice but there's no screen time until you let me cut your nails, and I don't want any fuss'

At 8 unless he has any specific SN I'd suggest he's enjoying the fuss

[donniemurdo]

Thanks Dame I think that's at the back of my mind, that he's enjoying the fuss but on the other, I'm concerned that he's got a real issue with this. I'm going to leave it for a few days and then I might try the no screen time if we're not getting anywhere.

[Perspective21]

books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_English_Struwwelpeter_Or_Pretty_Stor.html?id=aueFJwAACAAJ&redir_esc=y

Show him this book and see if it changes his mind!

[SavoyCabbage]

I agree with Dame too. And I would do it just like Coolas said in a matter of fact way.

It has to be done. Like injections and going to the dentist. My dd has to have awful allergy tests where they scratch her skin and obviously she hates it and once she had to be held down.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Yep,ds did too savoy, some things like teeth and toe nails are non negotiable.

[Bragadocia]

I sympathise - we have this too. DS is younger (nearly 5) and he had been alright with it for about a year, but a couple of months ago flatly refused, and has been a nightmare to deal with ever since. Keeping it light and cheerful fails. Being firm fails. Being matter of fact fails. Bribery fails. Removal of telly fails. Physical restraint fails. (all on separate occasions mind - I don't flip from one mood to the next in the same attempt).

We are able to do it in his sleep, thank god, but only in the first half hour when he is deeply asleep. I go under the duvet at foot end, DH holds the torch under! Crazy, ridiculous, but nothing nothing works.

Fine with fingernails though. And a recent convert to hair washing and combing after years of battles. But he works himself into a frenzy over toenails. He did comment last week that his toenails have all worn down by themselves...

[Bragadocia]

But how do you maintain a stance of non-negotiation when they are screaming, sobbing and writhing? I would injure his foot.

He obeys almost everything else I ask of him. But not this.

[purplemurple1]

Could he file them himself rather than cutting?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I wouldn't do it when he's wriggling. The non negotiable bit needs to be in place before that. I'm hard core though, tears don't bother me and years of being a no nonsense nanny have helped . We either do it or you wait in your room until you are ready to have it done/do it yourself, your choice.

[stargirl1701]

Would he file them himself? A glass nail file would be quickest.

[whois]

Do you do it after he's had a bath so they are all soft? I think it's hurts unless after a bath.